Saturday, August 30, 2008


I have a TON to write today and am struggling with how to put my thoughts together without really confusing you guys.  Sorry--in advance--if I lose anyone :-)

First...blankie number two is NOT working.  In fact, Layla responded to blankie number two by stepping on it...blowing her tongue at it..and then "fading" it (for those of you who haven't witnessed at Layla fade--its her way of giving the cold shoulder and its HILARIOUS!).  So...back to the drawing board, I guess.

Second...she has just clearly said "Jesus" and it has got to be what angels sound like when they say His name!  It is the absolute sweetest thing I have ever heard.  She must think it pretty strange that I keep asking her to say it.  I think I should probably make a recording of it :-)

Dad and I busted through the 20 mile mark today. was not an easy run with the temperature getting hotter and more humid.  The first part was actually very nice, but by the 15th mile it was starting to really heat up.  I find that the hardest thing about running in the heat is staying well hydrated.  It seems like when I wait to long to drink, the sports drinks just slosh around in my belly and cramp my stomach up.  Nice!  Dad was very patient with me, though.  I hardly said two words during the last 1.5 miles.  I think it took every single drop of mental energy to focus on my form and not letting myself go my conversation with dad completely STOPPED.  He started trying to talk to me with less than a mile left and all I could muster were some "uh huhs" and maybe even a little grunt or two..HA!  Poor dad.  After today's run, I went home and spent some time with Layla before her nap and then I grabbed my hoodie and hot tea and made my way into a nice COLD ice bath.  Good times.

We did talk about a few things today that really made me find a new admiration for my dad.  Somehow we found ourselves on the topic of living with regret--and I still don't know exactly how.  Dad was telling me about a conversation he had with one of his friends about a new photographer who has busted on the scene and is charging upwards of $20,000 per wedding--I know...CRAZY!  But I think the conversation between dad and the other guy was about whether or not dad regretted not being the first to the gate with that guy's idea.  Dad informed me (although I already knew this about him) that he has always been the type who works very hard and very efficiently...but doesn't have the desire to climb any sort of  "ladders to success".  I told dad that my thought was that there are two types of people:
(1) People who label success via worldly standards and as such, are terrified of living with regret
(2) People who label success via Godly standards and can't quite comprehend that fear of living with regret.  I am so proud to say that my dad very nicely fits into this category as evidenced by the way he will drop EVERYTHING to chase make believe dinosaurs with Bradyn, watch Layla just be Layla and listen to me ramble about something probably meaningless.  I couldn't be prouder.  I think making your daughter as proud as dad has made me should--in someone's book--qualify as a success, right?

Its interesting... Neil and I have gotten a lot of encouragement (and advice) about Nashville and the decision that we'll have to make.  I've heard from at least a few very well-meaning people that they would "hate for us to have to live with regrets".  And I was astounded.  Regret over something so temporary?  Regret would be missing the opportunity to see Layla really KNOW Jesus as her Saviour, not deciding to stay here (or going there) because that's where God leads us.  I guess I just can't wrap my brain around making a decision because I don't want to live with regret?  Its just a little weird for me.  I do think there is such a freedom in knowing that as long as I'm--WE'RE--consulting God--we'll look back on life and the decisions we made and be pretty stinkin satisfied.  Different strokes for different folks though, I guess :-)

This whole little dissertation on regret (or lack of it) lead dad and I on to the final serious topic of the run--HA--before I flaked out on him.  It kind of relates...a little?  At least it seemed like it did several miles into our run.  

While I was running at the beach several weeks ago, I passed this MASSIVE house.  In the front yard was a sign that read, "Private residence, not for rent."  HA!  The sign was HUGE.  It was almost as if the owners were saying that even if they stayed in the house for one week out of the year, they were still so loaded with sweet moola that they didn't need to rent it out.  I caught myself thinking...'hummm...must be nice."  I was already a little way down the street--and picking out furniture for my new MASSIVE beach house--when I heard a very quiet voice say "but I can take it all away in a moment".  WOW...I was completely humbled by God in a matter of two seconds.  God so nicely reminded me of that again as I started to feel just a little too proud of my running accomplishments.  AND I was reminded of it the other day--I won't go into the specific circumstance, but know that he did LOUD AND CLEAR.  Not really sure what's going on--or what craziness He may be preparing me for????  Maybe God's just bringing some things to my attention--trying to help me stay focused on my priorities and what is important.  Strange--it just seems like one of those molding and shaping principles that we are working on.  Maybe I'm reading into it WAY to much.  I tend to do that.......often :-)

For those of you who made this far...CONGRATS.  You all must be very patient or bored...or both.

Enjoy the weekend.    


The Beaver Bunch said...

Wow. I am always floored when God speaks so clearly to me. I'll say a prayer that you will be receptive to His voice when He starts to speak.

Hope to see you tomorrow!

Michelle said...

True thoughts about living with regret... Adam says we have a responsibility to God to be happy and joyful and live fully.

God's voice in my life is less a voice and more a tidal wave. Things just seem to happen that push me one way or the other! I always believe that God will put us right where we need to be, and never give us more than we can handle.

Natasha said...

Linds...I think you are right...if we commit ourselves to God and persistently follow His plan, then there is no way we can have regrets because we know that we are doing exactly what we were meant to do. Remember to be patient...God will guide you and Neil in the direction that He wants you.

Oh...sweet Layla saying her savior's name. Wow!! That's awesome!! Just think how wonderful it will be when she can say His name and explain what He did for her.

I agree with you that your dad is a great person whether he busts out a $20,000 photography idea or not.

Finally...congratulations on breaking the 20 mile run mark. I'm proud of you. I think it is awesome that you have the opportunity to spend 20 miles listening/talking with your dad. Keeping with the regret day, when your dad is not here with you, you will not have regrets about not spending time with will be able to think back to your running days.

Love ya Lupe!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

AnniePat said...

good words, lindsey. your perspective is so Biblical. can't wait to see you, friend.