tomorrow...

I'm going to admit something...on the eve of our very first doctor's appointment.  There is this tiny part of me that is going to be just a tiny TINY bit bummed if there's only one and not two heartbeats.  And, I don't think its because I like a good challenge...I just think the awesome miracle of twins would be so amazing to witness first hand.  I've always been so fascinated by twins and the bond that they have--even in the womb.  I guess from watching my mom and my aunt (who are twins), friends of mine (who are twins) and YES...that little Discovery channel special on twins.....

Anyway...we'll see.  I'm anxious see that little guy/girl on the big screen...

Oh and before I leave...here's the video from Layla making brownies.  Neil started the camera just as she was really digging in....and stopped it before she went for round two (where the chocolate made its way into her little ear).   My personal favorite is where the responsible mommy person (aka yours truly) ask the little toddler if she'd like for "me to hold the bowl up for you" while you go in head first?  Really Lindsey...Really?  I'll file that under my examples of a kid raising a kid :-)

Layla makes brownies... from Black Daffodil Films on Vimeo.

welcome home hosta family...welcome home

My sweet mom comes over every Tuesday to spend time with Layla while I go and teach government at the community college.  She and I (probably without knowing that both were working on the same thing) have managed to teach Layla to identify and pick out 10-12 of her ABCs in less than a week's time.  I guess its that repetition between the two of us?  And Layla, she couldn't be more proud of her new skill.  She showed it off for Augie and Lauren last night and kept begging to "play more games".  You could just see her light up when their reaction was shock that she knew the letters.  

And yesterday....as a HUGE treat to me, mom came equipped with a shovel and bucket.  If you guys remember, I am not a gardener.  I like to think I am, but I'm not.  I wish I were because I enjoy beautiful flowers, but I am not.  Mom, however, has the most amazing ability to landscape even the saddest little beds (mine would be a perfect example).  So yesterday, she split up this monster of a Hosta plant (who knew you could split them so easy) and then spread 

it out so that it looked more appealing.  It took her 15 minutes and my front bed already looks 10 times better.  I was in shock.  She also dug one crazy Hosta to make room for the new dogwood tree that she's going to give me.  I couldn't be more excited!  So I've taken a sort of before picture (its after the monster Hosta was split) and I'll take an after so you guys can really see how talented mom is at this digging in the dirt kind of thing.  No remember, our house was built in 1932, so mom really REALLY has her work cut out for her.  I think some of those less than desirable boxwoods have been here for 50 years--at least.

Finally...Layla and I made brownies yesterday afternoon....she thought it was so exciting how we made "choc" out of "dat powder".  Her eyes were as big as saucers.  It must have been a dream come true for her--such a gigantic bowl of chocolate.  So, I let her lick the bowl when I was finished pouring it into the pan.  I could hear my mom fussing at me from 15 miles down the road :-)  But Layla loved it...and she had a chocolate mustache--um--beard to prove it.  She had it everywhere...I even found some in her ear last night :-)  NOW, that's a sign of a great afternoon...having to wash chocolate out of your ears!

OH and t-minus 5 days until we get a little peek at the baby!  We're taking Layla with us...I hope that's a good idea?  I don't think anything will frighten her.

updates...

Layla:

Yes, Layla is just over two and YES she still has her paci when she goes to bed.  We've been talking about how she's outgrown it and its more for babies than for big sisters.  Today, we had the same sort of discussion when she looked at me...as straight faced and serious as possible and said, "mommy, Jesus has a paci...uh huh...he do mommy.  And Jesus has a blankie with a special spot...just like Layla."  How on Earth do you respond to that?  I was speechless...

The Little Peanut in my belly:

So I thought I'd sort of take the time to keep up with all the pregnancy stuff via this blog...part of me thought I should wait for a while--you know, until after the first trimester...but I just can't.  Funny stuff is already happening that's worth writing down.

Cravings this week:  (1) Cheese, cheese crackers, cottage cheese, goldfish (see a theme) (2)Popcorn (3) Eggs (4) Burger King Hamburgers-plain (I swear I smelled Burger King the other morning...stranger yet, I don't even think we have one in Lexington...HA) (4) French Fries 

Thinks that make me go...ICK:  (1) Sweets...I can't even eat dry cereal because its too sweet (2) Chocolate (led to my first experience looking down the toilet) (3) Chewing gum....can you believe it? I can't even chew gum because its--you guess it...TOO SWEET (4) smoke (5) lawn clippings on the side of the road--I literally gag OUT LOUD when I run by them

I've also been having really bad indigestion--which prevents me from enjoying the aforementioned Burger King bag-o-deliciousness.  I remember with Layla, I craved McDonald's chicken fillet sandwiches...but ask me if I ever had one...NOPE...darn that indigestion.  I'm hoping it goes away because I want a REALLY big belly this time...none of that 22 lb weight gain that I had with Layla...I literally got NO attention until I was a full 7 months in.

Finally, I've had to back off of my running schedule a little.  50 miles a week when you are prego is probably not the best idea.  I'm now running four days a week--one long run (@10-12 miles) and three shorter runs (@ 7-8 miles).  Hopefully I can keep up with most of this for a while.  I know at some point, I'll have to slow down and pull back a little.

HA and funny story.  So I'm running the other day...it was beautiful outside...no watch...no Garmin.  Just me.  I was feeling so great when I came back into the neighborhood, that I decided to run another mile around the track at the park.  As I approached the track, I noticed a very tan, young blonde girl (probably 4 years my junior) running around the track...she noticed me and I knew the competition was on.  MAN...why do I fall for these things??  So I hit the track, roughly 20 yards behind her....I gained on her and passed her--it took about .4 miles to do it...but I did it.  After I passed her and gained a little lead, she backed way off.  I think I managed to look strong the rest of my mile...I think?  And then I turned and ran home (maintaining my strong pace--didn't want anyone to see me let up).  When I got in, I sat on the sofa...talked to Neil...and within minutes fell into a coma like sleep for a half hour---I didn't even change my clothes.  HA.  Not as tough as I was a month ago for sure :-)  And clearly, I am lacking in the discipline department.  Dad will not be happy with these shenanigans....I just couldn't resist 

Drum roll...........

Man oh man have I been out of a blogging mood or what lately?!  I think I've had plenty to write, but no time to do it (darn that Facebook taking up ALL my free time--its a love/hate relationship, really).

So we had the blessing of sharing another Easter at my grandmother's this year.  Its a running joke that she swears--every holiday and birthday--that she can't keep cooking big family dinners--its just too much to worry with and she fears she is losing her culinary skills.  Fear not!  She turned out an Easter dinner this year that HANDS DOWN beats every other Easter dinner (and not that its about the food anyway--but it was exceptional this year).  I wish I would have taken a picture of all the food that her hands worked so hard on....and a video of the way she paces around the kitchen and then meanders outside for a smoke--peeping in to check every so often.

Agh she makes me smile--all her little quirks.  I remember when I was a kid, driving 10 minutes to my grandmothers on a Saturday morning grab some breakfast.  We didn't call ahead and didn't give her a warning.  I was worried that she wouldn't be home and if she was, she wouldn't be happy that we were so presumptuous.  When I shared my fears with my dad, he told me, "there are only a few certain things in life:  death, taxes, and mom (my grandmother) being home with something to eat".  He's right.  I've never been to her house (even unannounced) that she wasn't (a) at home (b) excited to see me (c) able to fix a darn good meal on the spot.  I mean guys...she doesn't care if she's in her dressing robe without a dab of makeup on her face.  Its incredible.  She's amazing...she is truly a servant in more ways than I can count....and I hope I'm like that one day.  

Back to Easter...whew that was quite a sidebar, huh?

My mother made cupcakes that were absolutely adorable...and my little Layla thought they were the most magical things she's ever seen.  If you aren't aware of Layla's love affair with all things shaped like cupcakes (muffins included)...here are three pictures from the past three months (the top one being Easter).  And, we brush her teeth...I promise.  I just love the way she attacks those cupcakes...I have never seen a child love and crave cupcakes like she does.  Dad took all these pictures...I think he also finds humor in Layla's love of cupcakes.  I'm sure he has a TON more of her digging into a cupcake, but I didn't want to post them all for fear of looking like a bad mommy :-)

Finally....BIG ANNOUNCEMENT...Neil and I are expecting our second.  We are just having so much fun with Layla and are enjoying her so much that we want more and more and more (I think Neil would have 5 kiddos if we could).  So God...knowing our desire for another one...gave us a little Easter blessing (despite my running like a maniac--this kid is going to be a trooper already).  I have to admit, its a strange feeling finding out you are pregnant around Easter....it really comes with an overwhelming feeling of being very VERY blessed and humbled at the same time.

So we go to the doctor on April 27th to find out if there is one...or two in my tummy.  Twins run in my family (mom, great aunts, great great grandmothers)...YIKES...and I've never felt more sick and tired in my life.  I may be calling on your help, Jessica :-)

Nugglin'

I realized that haven't posted any pictures of Layla in a while...SHAME ON ME!  I pulled out the camera the other day and couldn't resist taking pictures of her playing on/in? mommy and daddy's "BIG bed".  I think she could play on that bed for hours...making sheet tents and "nugglin".  She's just now getting to that stage where she notices a camera out and hides from it...so she was a difficult subject.  I think I took three pictures before she said, "no mommy".  So I listened and put the camera away.  

On an unrelated note (and for anyone who may care), I've decided not to run the half marathon in May.  Spending $60 for 13.1 miles in this economic climate seems a little silly--especially after reading about and seeing children in my own community who have nothing to eat.  I'm still trying to decide how to spend my $60...any suggestions?  

SO, I think dad and I will probably head out the same weekend I was going to do the race and just do our own half marathon.  I need to run a race so that I'll know how to build my training for the Marine Corps Marathon in October and Boston in April...YAY!  Do you guys know how excited I am about the MCM...running such a huge and inspirational marathon with dad.  PRICELESS!  I think I'm equally as excited about doing Friday night and early morning long runs with dad in the summer--seeing fireflies across dark fields, listening to tree frogs, oh yeah...and dodging cars...that was so much fun last year and those are times that I will treasure forever, I'm sure.

Do me a favor...please

I received a call from my best friend, Beth, the other day asking me to do her a HUGE favor and photograph her group of girls for *D* weekend.  I'm up for doing favors (although this didn't seem to qualify as a favor)...and it helps that I really love Beth :-)

So I showed up to Monkezz Brew in Thomasville, camera in hand, to photograph this group of 5 girls and their fearless leaders, Beth and Emily.  When I walked into the room where they were working (making jewelry and picture frames), I was overwhelmed with this feeling of pride.  I was so SO proud to call Beth my friend...she was giving up an entire weekend to minister to these young girls and she was so genuinely happy to be there!  She was patient and attentive.  She was like the perfect "big sister" to those girls...which told me right away that she loved them--a lot.  

Then, as she was introducing me to one of the girls, I heard her use the descriptive, "my very best friend".  I was honored that she called messy little me her VERY best friend....honored beyond belief.  Isn't always so nice to be called "friend" by someone you love so dearly?  

The girls were so funny and full of life...they were an absolute pleasure to photograph.  I just adore teenage girls--they are at this pivotal point in life where they are still very innocent about what it means to be a woman...but they are learning quickly.  I admire Beth and Emily for investing in those girls' future...for giving those girls a perfect representation of what a woman should be.  

 

So, as I was riding home yesterday...I thought about the "favor" that I was supposed to do, but that was really done for me.  You see,  I was wallowing in self pity yesterday (quite possibly due to not eating quickly enough after a long run--my mind and body started revolting)...you know, the kind where you just KNOW that you have it worse than anyone else in the entire universe while also knowing that you're being COMPLETELY ridiculous.  That was me yesterday....and I was so ashamed of myself.  What I really wanted to do yesterday was hide away until the intense desire to wallow exited my head....but what I ended up doing yesterday was photographing 5 teenage girls and my very best friend Beth.  And what ended up happening was me seeing how absurd I was acting and how very blessed I am on so many levels.  So do me a favor (no, really) next time I'm in a funky mood, put me in a room full of teenage girls and I'll snap out of it...they have a way of making me giggle.

Here are a few pictures of the girls...I think they really liked being followed around by a "photographer" downtown...they just lit up (and it probably helped that people were stopping in their cars to stare at them--they are beautiful girls).

Best day ever

So I think I just celebrated my best birthday ever....

Most years, I look back and I promise that I'll start spending more QUIET time, start spending more quality time with family, start exercising more....drink less wine...stop smoking cigars with my hubby because its neither (a) attractive--though some men may argue otherwise (b) healthy....and I hate having a vice.  THIS year...I looked back and was proud that I found running,--and thus more quiet time...quality time with my dad...I still have a glass of wine occasionally--but only if its good wine....and to the dismay of my husband, I no longer smoke cigars on a weekly basis--or at all for that matter (gotta keep those lungs at full capacity).  

SO one of my birthday gifts this year was an early morning run with my dad.  I've been training for a half marathon and my miles have been kind of crazy.  Tuesday was going to be an easy and enjoyable 5-6 miles.  Dad and I had a blast.  Jerry was going to join us (he shares his birthday with me and his love of running), but didn't make it.  He did, however, drive 15 minutes to drop off a birthday card to me that just made my heart swell.  I realized that I'm getting a little sentimental as I get older--that what really means the most to me are unexpected efforts by people to make me feel special.  Jerry made me feel special that morning, whether he intended to or not.

After our run, I rushed home and showered...then snuggled with Layla for a while (one of my new favorite hobbies).  She has a new found love of snuggling and I am thrilled to oblige.  Nothing does more to slow me down than a request by my little one to snuggle.  I instantly forget my "to-do" list entirely and am happy to spend an hour in the bed...she has this way of just staring right at me...no words...then a huge giggle.  I love it.  

My sweet Neil took us for coffee and a muffin (muffin for Layla--I had lemon and fresh butter biscotti--YUM) at a sweet little coffee shop with an amazing garden and a little yellow Adirondack swing.  Afterwards, Neil and I dropped Layla off at my parents for a round of intense spoiling, while we rushed off to Winston to play.  I love being able to play with my husband...I'm challenging myself to find time to play more with Neil...even though that means being more creative because we can't just run off to Winston or Charlotte or Chapel Hill every weekend.    I'll keep you guys updated :-)

Another thing I'm working on this year...taking time to listen and watch.  I sometimes get rushed and hurried.  Running (and spending an hour or so with only my breath as a soundtrack) has slowed me down a lot...but I still need some work.  I tend focus on the 10 minutes ahead of me rather than the "right now".  So this is what I think I'm going to do...I think I'm going to photograph something  each day that I look at so often its become ordinary (or maybe that's too ambitious...we'll see) .  My challenge is going to be to photograph it in a way that makes it extraordinary.  YIKES...this may only last a week...HA!