I should start by saying that I'm venting...a little...again.  I typically don't find "venting" very becoming of me, but I just can't help it this time.  I've sat on this for a couple of days because I just don't want to be obnoxious.  But here goes...just in case there are others out there somewhere who are running while pregnant...

So I finished another 12 mile run strong today...I was doubting myself for the first four miles.  I seriously thought of quitting and walking back to the car at least a dozen times.  I even imagined myself stopping without warning to dad.  But, I didn't...didn't even say a word.  I have this crazy notion that once I verbalize something, then I'm as good as done.  As long as I stay quiet, I'm good to go.  We're keeping an average pace of about 8:30 per mile, which really REALLY makes me proud.  So far, I've only gotten a few, unsolicited little tid bits of running advice from some very well-meaning people that really don't know much about running.  I think I've actually been told that need to back off and slow down or else risk the big "m" (a word that was used quite liberally to me, but I refuse to say--because WHO really throws that word around to a mom-to-be).  SO, for those well meaning but misinformed folks...HERE GOES:

The great news is that the baby is benefiting more than I even knew from all this running that I've done.  The doctor commented on my "maternal heartbeat" at Wednesday's TWO HOUR appointment (I'm still a little sore about that...can't you tell).  In fact, she said its really rare to hear such a strong maternal heartbeat...so much so that the nurse couldn't dodge my heartbeat and find the baby's...the doctor had to come in and find it.  Apparently (according to the doctor), the baby reaps the benefit of his/her mom's heartbeat by a better oxygen/blood supply.  The doctor also credited running with the baby's incredible fetal activity.  Fetal activity is closely associated with increased blood supply from the placenta.  We've got quite the little swimmer on our hands.  So doctor's orders were to keep doing what I'm doing...

I think I'm just going to have to grow some tough skin because it probably won't get any better once I start showing.  I can't wait to blog about the looks I get from people...this may get interesting.

FINALLY and totally unrelated, I am so excited to report that dad is letting me shoot his 35mm film camera tomorrow.  Dad is really big on shooting deliberately (note: I didn't say conservatively because I feel those are two different things) rather than firing away with his camera and HOPING he gets the right shots.  If you get the chance, ask him about it...he's pretty passionate about this little topic and I always love to hear what he has to say.  One thing he feels pretty strongly about is that when one doesn't practice shooting deliberately, then you lose your ability to really SEE things.  I love that my dad is patient...I'm always impressed that he is so precise.  And I've never once seen him miss a shot.

SO I really take it as a HUGE compliment that he's trusting me to shoot some film....I can't wait to fill ya'll in on the results.  

Speaking of which...dad got a Mamiya film camera and took some pictures of Layla with it the other day.  Now I may be partial because (a) its my little one in the pictures and (b) I LOVE LOVE LOVE film...but this I thought these were some of the most beautiful pictures I've seen in a while.

quick post..then I'm out for an early run with dad...

So I always---ALWAYS--walk into Layla's room and check on her before I go to bed each night.  It used to be multiple times (I was terrified of her suffocating on her bumper pad for months) but now its just once--okay maybe twice :-)  I love to stare at her sleeping.

ANYWAY, last night I walked in right after my bath, still wearing my towel.  I heard her stir a little when I walked into the room, so I started to tip toe.  You know how sometimes, even when its dark, you can tell someone is looking at you?  Well, I felt her looking at me and I got a little weirded out for some reason.  Then I saw her arm move a little so I quickly squatted down beside her bed where she couldn't see me if she woke up.  Next thing I knew, a little fuzzy red head was looking down at me saying, "hey mommy...sing one more song?".  SO...I picked her up as my towel hit the floor.  So there we were...10:30 pm rocking and singing "Hush Little Baby"--me naked as can be.  As I carried her back to the bed, she looked up and smiled and said, "I love you mommy" and then said, "need put your pjs on and go bed...in the BIG bed".  She was so sweet....and not at all shocked by my craziness--she was just excited to see me for a few extra minutes.

So I went off to bed and within 5 minutes, Neil and I were serenaded to sleep by her singing "Jesus Loves Me" over the baby monitor.  I think we all feel asleep to it.  I have to record her singing that for you guys--she belts it out with her eyes closed...its adorable.

Finally...just to vent.  I had a doctor's appointment yesterday--sat there for TWO HOURS and FIFTEEN MINUTES only to be (1) weighed (2) hear the heartbeat.  It was worth it...but boy was I frustrated.  I was patient and understanding for the first hour or so, but after that, I was done. I was SO done that I didn't even ask any questions or anything.  TWO HOURS...for a 10 minute appointment.  Crazy!

Feel that baby

What you probably can tell is that I've been slack in my blogging lately...what you probably can't tell is that I've been slack in housework too.  Its not really that nothing is getting done...it is..but it takes me FOREVER.  I can't seem to finish tasks like I've always done.  I get the floor swept, but not mopped and then by the time I remember to mop, I have to sweep again.  Laundry...UGH..I get it washed and dried but not folded.  So, my ironing pile is through the roof and staring at me every single night.  I finally moved it into another room, hoping the wrinkles would just fall out and the clothes would put themselves up.  It hasn't worked yet...but I'm expecting a surprise any day now.

I say all this to say that I believe that there must be a such think as pregnancy ADHD.  I'm convinced, in fact.  I have never lacked focus like I have over the past few weeks and its frustrating.  I'm actually considering making a list and checking off things once I've completed them.  

Switching gears...I was a little bored with the whole "ADHD" bit (HA)

Layla felt the little peanut move for the first time.  Right now, its these random little bubbly feelings in my belly that I only feel when I sit quietly after being busy.  The little one goes CRAZY after I run--I take it as a sign that he/she must really like the ride.  But last night she was on my lap and felt my belly move.  Her eyes got huge and she begged me to "see dat baby right now".  So I laid down on the floor and she inspected my belly for signs of a baby.  She looked in my belly button and became quite frustrated that she couldn't see it.  I told her the baby was inside mommy's belly, so we couldn't see it for a while, but we can feel it, talk to it, sing to it and listen to it.  SO, she put her ear to my belly and giggled like crazy when she heard the baby (shhh...really it was just my stomach digesting dinner...but I couldn't tell her that).  She started kissing my belly and talking to the baby and THEN discovered she could do THIS:

Blowing the baby from Black Daffodil Films on Vimeo.

She's going to be so much fun with this new baby....I can tell already...

Boys do this

So I feel like I have a ton of updates and stuff...my thoughts are kind of jumbled up.  So stick with me...this may get confusing :-)

My latest cravings:

So I'm having the strangest cravings and inclinations.  I am going crazy over spicy stuff and can barely stomach the thought of anything sweet.  Neil and I had a date with some friends at PF Changs the other week...I could have licked the bowl of that Chinese spicy mustard.  Seriously...somebody get me some wasabi or something.  I way WAY more than sprinkled red pepper flakes on my bowl of soup yesterday...it was so hot I was sweating.  It probably could have stood a little more heat though :-) I also covered a bowl of popcorn with black pepper last night and dipped a saltine in Frank's hot sauce.  Strange.  My friend, Toddy, told me I was probably having another red head...YAY.

Running while preggo:

I woke up early (like...5:30 am early) on Saturday morning to do a long run with dad.  It was a beautiful morning...and I was so happy to be out.  Its funny, now little 12 mile runs feel like such an accomplishment.  Each time I complete a run, I wonder how much longer I'm going to be able to really enjoy it--and keep my pace up.  I guess I'm just thankful each time I get a nice run in.  I have yet to pee my pants (THANK GOODNESS)...and I'm pretty thankful for that too.  Right now, my running milage is around 30-32 miles a week (a big change from 50+ miles a week).  I'm kind of enjoying running for the fun of it.

My yard:

My oh my..I need to take some pictures.  My mother has worked some magic in my formerly pitiful little yard.  She surprised me the other day (a Mother's Day surprise) by planting a beautiful perennial bed.  I'm so excited to see it grow (assuming I can remember to take care of all my little pretties).  

My Layla An:

She gets funnier every single day.  She has been really into learning her friends' "whole names".  Her favorites are Natasha Bumgarner (must be all the syllables), Sharon Lambros, and Jerry Murdock.  She also likes refer to herself as Layla Antoinette Broere.  In fact, we had a conversation like this after he nap today:

Mommy:  Boy, you are sweaty.  

Layla:  No mommy.  I'm Layla Antoinette Broere.  I not sweaty mommy.  Mommy is Lindsey and Daddy is Neil.  No sweaty mommy.

My bad...I had no idea that she had gotten so literal all of the sudden.

She was also playing pretty rough tonight.  She has a little plastic ball...well a BIG plastic ball that is her new favorite toy.  Tonight, she was running full speed at her ball and flipping over it.  She looked over at me and said, "Mommy, I'm a boy.  Boys do dis.  Boys do tings like dis."  I asked her what girls do, if boys play so wild.  She grabbed her blankie, smiled a sweet little fake smile and BLINKED HER EYES.  Where in the world is she getting this stuff?  She doesn't watch TV except for an occasional Super Why episode (not because I am anti TV really..she just doesn't like it).   Maybe its the Fancy Nancy book.  I'm kind of glad she likes to play rough.  I love that she adores purses and fancy dress up clothes...but will put her worms in her purse and sit in the dirt while wearing her cute little dress ups.

Okay...so I guess that's all for now.  Thanks for hanging in there.  

Coming to America

Layla had her very first big overnight with my mom and dad the other night.  This was the first time she's been away from home all night without Neil or me since she was about 6 months old.  Needless to say, Neil and I were like kids in a candy shop while we were out to dinner.  It was so strange to not be looking at our watches in a hurry to get home and relieve our parents.  But, I have to say, I sure did miss going into her room and staring at her before I went to bed.  I woke up at least a half a dozen times during the night startled because I couldn't hear the monitor.  I love relaxing date nights with my husband...but I also LOVE having my baby at home.  We both really missed her--and it was just one night.  I still woke up at 6:30am and had to fight not to rush to mom and dad's to be there when she woke up.  

Layla...on the other hand...was having the time of her life.  She enjoyed a bath in mom and dad's BIG tub.  In fact, mom said she barely made it through dinner for wanting to jump in the tub.  She had special ice cream that, apparently, papa stirs JUST RIGHT so that its not too cold (she told me all about the technique yesterday).  She watched "toons" before bedtime and played in my all of my mom's old jewelry.  This is what greeted me yesterday when I opened an email from my dad...  

Chris and Lindy....I think she's probably ready for that trip to see you guys.  Do you think she'd be accepted with her crazy red hair and flair for fashion?  All I could think of when I opened the attachment was that old Eddie Murphy movie, Coming to America.  HA!  

Whatever you want

Mom and dad came over for dinner on Saturday night.  They were keeping my nephew Bradyn for the night, and sort of...slightly...invited themselves over to have dinner and go to the park.  I don't guess it qualifies as "inviting yourself over" when you bring the ENITRE meal.  It was more like, "hey...let me come to your house...love on your baby AND then cook you dinner". It doesn't get any better than that--it was a real blessing.  Dad and I ran 12 miles that morning...and I took Layla to a little spring festival shortly after I got back home from the run.  Layla didn't take a nap that afternoon...so I was more than tired.  Momma to the rescue.  Mom and dad came over at around 5:00 with bags of groceries and Bradyn in tow.  

Layla and Bradyn have FINALLY started playing so well together.  There are about 2 1/2 years between them, so the first two years were sort of touch and go between the two of them.  Layla is finally understanding that she can't knock down all of Bradyn's building blocks and Bradyn has started really wanting to take care of her.  They actually do so much better when they're left alone to play.  I was hoping they'd do good together Saturday night...but Layla was tired and grumpy...and Bradyn spent the majority of the afternoon at a birthday party.  YIKES.

They were so happy to see each other.  Everything was great until...you guess it...the dinner table.  After taking Layla to another room and talking to her twice about table manners, we decided that we'd all be better off if we let her down from the table to go play.  She was a little whiny as she walked around the table to Bradyn.  The dialogue went something like this:

Bradyn:  What's wrong with Layla?

Me:  She's just a little grumpy.

Bradyn (to Layla):  You tell me what you want, Layla, and I'll get it for you (in that kind of "my intention is to make you rotten" voice...the same I've heard their papa use--hummmm). 

Layla:  French fries with dip

Bradyn (picking the BEST and biggest one from his plate and dipping it):  Here you go Layla.

Layla:  Thank you (big smile).

I think my heart kind of melted :-)  It is so funny and sweet at the same time to hear them communicating--like little adults or something?  

Here's a picture of them sharing an ice cream sandwich prior to running around in the dirt at the park.  Dirt + ice cream=dirty dirty dirty faces and hands...adorable ones, but dirty.

worth the wait

Well guys...she's done!  Check out my other blog.  I'm just a little tiny bit excited about my new film :-)

Enjoy....

my kind of man....

Layla has been working on her bottom two year molars this week--BOTH OF THEM.  I'm not sure if I mentioned this in the past, but she is not a good "teeth cutter".  She never has been. Early on, she'd wake up all  hours of the night wanting to nurse.   During the past year of cutting teeth, she gets a terrible cold and fever and it is nothing short of pitiful.  She also has a very low threshold for any additional discomfort (ie-being told not to do something, smashing her finger in a book, stumping a toe on the carpet).  

So, for the better part of the week, I've been putting out fires and carrying a very grumpy Layla up and down the steps...holding her while trying to get dinner fixed...kissing lots and LOTS of tiny but very painful little ouchies.  Its great to be needed and wanted.  But by yesterday afternoon, I was starting to catch the grumpiness.  A lot of it is first trimester exhaustion--I was drained.

Enter....my sweet and perfect Neil...

The dinner table was a disaster from the start last night.  Layla didn't want the red fork, she NEEDED the pink one.  She then NEEDED her blankie.  I told her she'd have to wait until after dinner so that her blankie wouldn't get dirty.  She lost it...and begged to go upstairs--not alone--she needed mommy.  This was only two bites into dinner.  So I went with her upstairs while Neil sat at the table alone.

Pretty soon, I heard his footsteps on the stairs, looked around the corner and saw him carrying dinner up the steps to Layla's room.  He sat her little art table...then told her he had something very "fancy" downstairs.  He came back to the room carrying her little teapot filled with milk and a tea cup.  This was the first time either  of us have used her little teapot for its intended purpose.  Layla got the biggest grin on her face as Neil referred to her as "Mademoiselle Broere" while he poured her tea.

I was shocked that he pulled something so magical off for her.  And his rough hands (from doing all the woodworking and working outside) around that little teapot were the sweetest things I've seen in a very long time.  Last night at the dinner table, he was our Prince Charming.  I like a man who can fix a flat tire AND host such an enchanting tea party--he's just perfect :-) Layla ate all of her dinner and was both talkative and happy.  Wonder if he has anything up his sleeve for our poor little patient at dinner tonight?