Sweet little Layla...boy am I having a time with her! She is absolutely perfect with Adalei--loves her so much already. Layla constantly wants to hold her and snuggle with her...constantly!
But...something is going on with my first born baby. Not only does she look like a giant now, she's different--maybe its just me, but she seems different to me. She's more independent than before--insisting on doing everything--I mean EVERYTHING--by herself. She wants to carry her own plate to the table, throw all the trash away, wrap Christmas presents, get dressed and undressed, wash her own hair...you name it--she wants to do it...ALL BY HERSELF. As you can imagine, this comes with a lot of frustration on her part. Its almost as if she's stuck between still wanting to be a baby and being a "big girl". She's been whiny with me--wanting to rock in her rocking chair, wanting to be carried around the house, sung to sleep...etc. I am trying to be extra patient, but she's wearing me down. And I think she's acting out in order to get extra attention. She's great most of the day--until it starts getting close to nap time and bed time. Its almost as if when she starts to get tired, she loses all forms of self control. So my prayer this week has been for gentleness and understanding--and sometimes by 12:45 I am just short of falling on my knees and BEGGING for divine intervention.
So while this transition has been really pretty smooth--it still pains me to see Layla struggle even just a tiny bit. I guess its natural--and normal...but I just hate to see her like this--I hate for her to think that she has to do anything more than just "be" in order to get my attention...I hate for her to think she isn't my baby anymore...I hate for her to feel like she's in second place--even for a second. Maybe I'm taking this too serious but I couldn't help but feel that rush of emotions while I was rocking her...YES...rocking her last night. She was huge and heavy in my arms and my heart broke into a billion pieces.
Okay...so maybe this is post-pregnancy hormones coming into play here...or maybe I am just terrible with change. Either way...I'm ready to adjust to this new family dynamic already! Alright, so I admit it--sounds like its probably ME not Layla that's having the hard time here, huh? Nothing like reading your own thoughts on a computer screen to make you have a nice little "ah ha" moment :-) Darn those psychology classes making me over think EVERYTHING I say and do for fear of scaring my child!
Merry Christmas guys...I can't wait to post pictures and write about our holiday with a family of FOUR!