A messed up attempt at theology for toddlers-Part 1

As I was putting Layla to bed last night I confronted a beast that I knew was coming...yet I was COMPLETELY unprepared for it. I probably could have handled a dinosaur in her closet or a monster under her bed much better than I handled this...and I'm almost embarrassed to admit to it.

So our conversation after her night prayer time went like this:

Layla: When we talk to the Lord, is it God or Jesus.

Me: Well, both. It kinda just depends.

Layla: Well, who were you just talking to.

Me: Jesus.

Layla: Why?

Me: (thinking...get me out of here...I'm drowning in my own stupidity) You know, I probably should think about this a little more before I answer.

Layla: Why?

Me: Well, mommy is a little confused.

Layla: Do you just like Jesus more?

Me: No baby...I'm just...well...I don't know.

AGH! I failed her. I completely failed. A giant "F" on my biblical mommy report card.

So today at rest time...after reading her favorite Bible story about the 5 loaves and 2 fish...she asked me if God was Jesus. So I explained to her that He was...kind of like I am mommy, daddy's wife and her nana and poppy's daughter ALL at the same time. The conversation went something like this:

Layla: Well, is God a daddy then?

Me: Yep.

Layla: Who's His daddy?

Me: You mean, who's He a daddy to?

Layla: Yeah.

Me: Everybody. (hoping this blanket statement would end the conversation)

Layla: Is he my daddy?

Me: Yeah (not so much a strong yeah...because I had a feeling what was to follow).

Layla: Well, what about my daddy?

Me: WELL, God let mommy and daddy borrow you for a while...because he loves us so much and he thought you would be a very special gift for us.

Layla: Oh. Let's read another story that isn't about God, okay?

Me: (wiping the sweat from my face) Okay.

I should not have been so exhausted by that exchange and SO confused when I walked out of the room. I feel like I should have been more prepared. Like the biggest exam of my life...the biggest test to date and I was unprepared. No more. I'm studying up and more importantly...I'm committing it to prayer. I've realized that I can do nothing...that I make a mess of everything on my own..but God...He's good--He makes everything neat again. So hopefully through His guidance and His words, I can make sense out of this mess I've made for Layla. Poor thing. I bet her little head hurt too!

Someone PLEASE tell me you've goofed up in this area too..that I'm not the only mommy feeling like I need to wear a dunce hat for the remainder of the day.

For the love of cupcakes

Now that Neil is playing at church each Sunday, mornings have proved interesting--getting Layla fed and dressed (which is another story entirely--she thinks dress up clothes are not only for play but also for church--this Sunday's choice--pink leotard, tutu and leg warmers--I'm not kidding guys!) and Adalei fed and dressed and myself fed and dressed.

So this past Sunday, I decided to give Layla a very important job while I got dressed--watching her little sister--you know--as much as a three year old with Angelina Ballerina on the TV can watch her little baby sister who is far less interesting. ANYWAY--as I made my way to the bathroom to start my short makeup routine, I noticed that it was really quiet--which is never a good thing. I walked around the corner into the kitchen only to find Layla on her little stool reaching into the box of leftover cupcakes from her birthday. While I briefly entertained the idea of making her put it back, she was far too adorable with the sheepish grin and red icing all over her fingers. So I grabbed a plate and napkin for her, as she was in a hurry to get back to her cartoon and her "job".

She made her way back into the living room because she "had a job to do"--watching baby sister. As I continued to get dressed, I overheard her talking to Adalei and Adalei was giggling and cooing up a storm. I smiled to myself thinking of how sweet it was for Layla to choose to spend time with her sister rather than watch her FAVORITE cartoon. As I walked closer to the door--my heart still smiling--I heard this one-way conversation between Layla and Adalei.

Layla: I just love cupcakes. These are special birthday cupcakes. I bet you'd like cupcakes, Addie Bells. Ummm hummm...these are good cupcakes. Mommy got them special for my birthday. You don't have teeth Addie Bells.

Adalei: squeal

So I walked around the corner--took one look at my adorable little three year old on the floor with her sister and paused--something didn't seem quite right. Adalei turned her head when she heard my voice and all I saw was bright red icing all over her little face. Yep--Adalei has definitely--most certainly been introduced to the cupcake. No wonder the squeals of delight from the living room. Her cheeks smelled like butter cream and had a subtle hint of red for the rest of the day--and I'm pretty sure she developed an instant love of sugar. Great!

Happy Birthday Layla An

She's three tomorrow! Its so hard to believe that three years ago I was DYING to meet her and starting to feel the contractions that would bring her into this world. Its even harder for me to imagine my life without her--without her contagious smile...her giggles...her sweet little hands holding mine...the trails of mess that she leaves behind. Its hard to imagine my windows without little finger prints all over them and a refrigerator without her newest masterpiece placed neatly on the door.

I still look at her and can't believe that God trusted me with such a sweet spirited little girl--one with a huge heart and an even bigger smile. She has made me forever vulnerable and

words can't begin to describe how blessed that little redhead makes me feel. Its my prayer that some day...she'll be proud and feel blessed that I'm her mommy--that she'll be called to Jesus and learn the love that only He can give. I know--big prayers--but go big or go home, right :-)

Happy Birthday sweet Layla An...you are indeed--fearfully and wonderfully made--a perfect little you!