La Belle Vie

Its not you...its me...its just...

2010-08-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

we've grown apart.

If this blog were a relationship...I'd say its pretty much clear that its over. I mean...no posting in weeks...and I haven't even missed it. In fact, I can say, with pretty much every fiber of my being, that at least for the next little while, its going to feel really good to shed this blog thing. You hear that little blog...no more. We are done. Plus, I've found another blog that I like a little better (way less demanding) and I'm going to start seeing it...at least twice a month (see below).

Guys...I just can't keep up. Training for this marathon is tough with two girls. There are few days where I have any downtime and on those days, the last thing I care to do is blog. In fact...I feel bad about sitting down and resting. Normally those free moments are spent tweezing my eyebrows...making grocery lists...studying photography and cleaning up all of Layla stray fancy accessories that inevitably end up in my crawling 8 month old's mouth.

WHICH brings me to my most exciting point...I have been picking up some extra "responsibilities" (if I can even call them that because they are SO much fun) with Autumn Song. One of those responsibilities is going to be a bi-monthly guest post on their blog. SO if all two of you guys are REALLY REALLY missing me :-) you can find me at my new blog's home HERE. Yeah, me and this new blog totally moved in together. I know....seems early. But I think we'll be a great match.

As for my sweet girls. They are amazing. Layla is constantly teaching me...she is growing like crazy and is developing the most amazing little personality. She is one of the most logical thinking humans I have met...I am constantly impressed with her ability to use uniquely sound logic and reasoning. Adalei...sweet little Adalei. She is crawling...standing and cruising on furniture. She is saying "mama" which I LOVE...she's been saying it for about a month now, but during the past two weeks has started using it to "call" me. She laughs all the time. Those girls make my days extraordinary.

Finally, for those of you who read this blog and go to my home church--you probably think we have disappeared :-) WELL, we are actually working with an amazing team of men and women to plant a church in Winston-Salem. If you are interested...please take a few minutes to visit the website HERE....We are so excited about what God is doing in Winston Salem...and we are excited about the opportunity to get in and serve a community that we love so much! YAHOO.....

Adios...whew. That felt good...the de-cluttering process can be pretty stinking amazing :-)

Vacation is over...let the training begin

2010-07-14T03:44:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay in posting...we just got back from an amazing family vacation and its been so difficult to get back in the swing of things.

So excited...this week marks the first week of marathon training season! YAHOO! Its finally here. I just love training hard and working towards a goal. I love seeing progress and conditioning my body to do incredible things. We have about 16 weeks until the Marine Corps on October 31st....and these next 16 weeks are going to be challenging. I think my biggest challenge is making sure I can train at a high level AND keep my milk supply up for my sweet little Adalei. I also have a precious little toddler who LOVES to run with mommy...well, she loves to be pushed in the stroller while mommy runs--which is fun during "off" season, but kind of difficult after training runs! She ends each run with the following, "good thing you have me as your running buddy, huh mommy?" "Am I the best running buddy ever?" and then "whew...that was a hard workout." My answer, "yes" "most definitely" and an exhausted "yes".

Dad and I had our first hill session on Monday. It poured down rain on us...but I've been fighting a cold, so the rain was nice enough to come and wash all the snot off my face so I wouldn't have to worry about it while sprinting up hills. Nice. The rest of the week includes a tempo run today...45 minutes at just below 10K pace, 6 mile pace run tomorrow and 13 mile long run on Friday...then a 4 mile recovery run Saturday and REST REST REST on Sunday.

In other running related news...

My dear friend Jessica is running her FIRST 5K this Saturday. I am so excited for her....I'm most excited about crossing that finish line with her. She is the mother of six...so even getting out the door to run is an accomplishment. I don't think I could be any more proud. Hopefully if I can get my silly little point and shoot camera to work, I can post some pictures!

my babies

2010-06-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

SO...

As promised, here's the video of Adalei's military crawling skills. Over the past week, she's started pushing up on all fours, rocking back and forth...and then falling--but she's getting very close to really crawling! She is also getting two new teeth, which brings her total to FOUR.

She has a really yucky cold right now...she's doing just like Layla did with cutting teeth. Poor baby! When I went into her room this morning, her little nose was stuck to the sheet and snot had sealed both nostrils shut--except for a tiny little hole where she was getting the smallest amount of air in. She peeled her nose off the sheet and looked up at me...my heart broke for her...she just smiled at me...ear to ear grin and started reaching for my face to give me her morning kiss. She defines happy in every circumstance. That little one is incredible!

Untitled from Black Daffodil Films on Vimeo.

Layla...

Oh my goodness, that girl is as sweet as ever...challenging sometimes as we make our way through some awkward stages--but we are learning. We've had some really good moments and some not so pretty moments over the past few weeks. But she has the sweetest and most compassionate little heart--even during a toddler meltdowns.

Here's a short little video of her. She has these crazy big headphones. She decorated them with Hello Kitty stickers--because without the stickers, she insisted they were boy colors. Let me just say...she sometimes wears these headphones on grocery shopping trips. Yes. I am serious. She's funny....she definitely doesn't take herself too seriously! I think her daddy turns the music up too loud...but she says she likes it loud so she can sing. And, sing she does. Enjoy her rendition of Everything Glorious.

Untitled from Black Daffodil Films on Vimeo.

Scent of a Woman

2010-06-16T03:11:00.000-07:00

So a good friend of mine...who works at The Dispatch and who walks at the track where I almost always finish up my runs, posed this very interesting question to me yesterday. I laughed out loud--especially when I thought of why these women may be doing what they are doing....

Why do women spray themselves with perfume before going out for a run? (I think he has found that it isn't a slight scent of perfume, rather a dousing of perfume)

I am sure there are a ton of reasons why that makes perfect sense to a lot of women. For me...there is only one reason. I have been known to wear the same running shirt/bra two or three days in a row. There. Its out. So in order to save those who I BLAZE by (ha!) from my trail of two day old sweat...I sometimes spray perfume on said shirt/bra. Sometimes. Rarely. Maybe I've done this twice (okay...maybe more than twice). I can hardly take it. Perfume makes me gag...I'd rather smell sweat...but I'm sure not everyone feels the same.

SO--I pose this question--anyone out there...do you spray before you run or workout?

QUICK little catch-up on sweet Adalei--

That girl is crawling...full on military crawl. And she's imitating sounds. Agh...they get big TOO fast. Breaks my heart. She's sometimes sleeping through the night (from 7pm to 7am) and sometimes waking up once at around 3:30 and then sometimes on more unfortunate nights :-) she wakes up twice--especially now that she's working on cutting her top two teeth!

I have some video of her I am waiting to upload and will post. She gets sweeter by the day. I think she takes after her big sister!

Bang for my buck

2010-06-03T03:47:00.000-07:00

Apparently my words were offensive. The BIG gigantic zero in the comment box sends a clear message :-) Or, like I told myself last night....it could be that my husband did the offending. Yeah...I'll just throw him under the bus.

SO...here's something a little lighter. Okay...a lot lighter..but offensive all the same.

Edy's ice cream. What in the world is up with those folks. My first post ever...okay maybe second or tenth...was about the incredible shrinking Edy's ice cream. They really pulled the wool over my eyes by mysteriously shrinking the ice cream container. Passing off the smaller ice cream as the normal size without even a word. I compared it to turning in a research paper typed in Courier New rather than Times New Roman font--you know, giving the illusion that you typed 10 pages worth of stuff when really you just typed 7.

Well, surprise surprise. I was at the store last night and found the Edy's has now expanded the size of their ice cream BUT they are calling it a bonus buy....20% more free. Really. Boy, now I feel like a winner. I'm finally getting what I paid for. Sheesh.

I sure would like to be in the board room when they discuss these kind of marketing tactics. They must really thing the consumer is a dummy. I guess I am. I bought some. Yep. I did. And for a hot minute, I felt like a winner. Until I remembered that I didn't really find a bargain buy on ice cream. I was just finally getting what was normal two years ago. I finally out grew my mini-Edy's. Great. I feel for it.

The slow churned butter pecan was wonderful, by the way :-) The indigestion after realizing that I wasn't the bargain shopper I thought I was was terrible.

Just like ME

2010-06-02T02:59:00.000-07:00

Jesus is just like ME....my buddy...my homeboy...He needs ME....

This is a way of thinking that has bothered me for quite some time now....this materialistic Jesus that wants us to have everything our upper middle class heart desires...this needy Jesus who really REALLY desires to be our friend and wants desperately to know us...this buddy Jesus who we can talk to like our BFF....this watered down Jesus that we take to unbelievers because He somehow seems easier to digest than the Jesus who commanded us to deny ourselves...to know the costs of following Him...to hate our fathers, mothers, spouses and children....to pick up our cross and follow Him.

I could go on forever. The short end of it is this...

I am deeply offended when the gospel is presented in a watered down form. When Jesus becomes our buddy...when its all the sudden okay to sin because He is our peer...its okay with Him because He understands and loves the mess out of us anyway. When its more about me than it is about God. The end result quickly becomes....ME. Sinning just hurts ME and prevents ME from receiving God's favor RATHER than sinning deeply offends a holy God....God loves ME....period...rather than God loves me so that I may make His name known. So in our attempts to make Jesus more marketable and easier to digest, we have somehow have managed to place ourselves at the center of the gospel.

And ultimately...don't ya think if the gospel really needed to be watered down to be digestible to unbelievers...if the intention was for Jesus to be our peer...that God would have spelled it out pretty clearly in the Bible. Just sayin.

While I am not going to go on at length...my sweet hubby did. You can tell that our time together over the past few weeks has been interesting. I love and am so very grateful that Neil and I can be passionate about our Lord together.

Anyway....check out his blog...HERE...and then you can come back to me and comment. I think. :-)

Lacin up my shoes

2010-05-19T03:48:00.000-07:00

I feel like I should post today..its been a while...and unfortunately, I can't just leave my sweet little husbands wonderful accolades up forever. Though, it would be nice :-)

Currently, my head is so full of snot that I can barely think and my little family has been sick with a yucky cold virus so rest has not been abundant in my house. This will be a pretty brainless running post. I really REALLY wanted to do a post on some of the awesome things God is teaching me--but He deserves WAY more than part of my brain this morning.

SO...here goes.

Yes--I am still running even though I haven't talked about it in months. I'm still running about 40 miles a week--which includes a long run of about 12 miles and a 7 mile tempo run. Right now, dad and I are just "maintence running". Meaning, we aren't really picking up strength and distance training just yet. My next big race is October 31st--the Marine Corps Marathon. I'm hoping to qualify for Boston and am really looking forward to training hard and pushing myself. I miss hill workouts and speed work at the track. I am certain I'll be singing a different tune when June rolls around :-) Dad is so good--once I had Adalei, I was ready to jump right in and start hill work. Dad reminded me that I needed my fitness to peak on October 31st not June 1st. Minor details....minor details. Sometimes I remind myself of a bull in the pin just before the gate goes up at the rodeo.

What's even better...I am SERIOUSLY considering becoming a certified running coach and that excites the tar out of me. It would be a great way to make a little extra money AND be doing something that I love and get really excited about. Neil says he is going to force me to take the class and become certified--I guess he knows that there are a few--well founded in my opinion--reasons why I would back out (money for the class and two full days away from my sweet family and in a class room). So we'll see. I secretly think he wants me to take the class so that he can go to Birmingham with me and visit David Platt's church. I'm just saying.

So...the summer will be interesting. What will be SUPER interesting is how I keep up Adalei's milk supply while running my rear off. Bring on the chocolate milk and peanut butter sandwiches!

Okay--I'm off to blow my nose--or drill a hole in my head. I can't figure out which one would cause the least amount of pain at this point :-)

I Thank Him for You...

2010-05-09T06:12:00.000-07:00

A mommy two times over....words can not come close to describing how wonderful you are.

You give all that you have for two little girls (and one quirky little me). And when you are empty, you somehow give more. Everything that you do is under-appreciated because we can not grasp the beautiful gift that you give to us day in and day out. You serve others. You sacrifice self for others. I know that somedays are easier than others, but it wouldn't be love if it was an easy sacrifice. This family functions because of that kind of love.

I thank God for placing me into your life.

I thank Him for giving us our girls.

I thank Him for giving them a mommy with a heart after His only Son.

Always, forever and more,

Mysterious Lady

2010-05-05T03:08:00.000-07:00

She is still a little mystery to me...even though I know parts of her so intimately...there are times I look at her with wonder. She's only 5 months old and she has my heart wrapped firmly in her little hands. I love the way she laughs. I love that she laughs ALL the time. And, I am not kidding. When I look at her and smile, she laughs. When I talk to her, she laughs. When she's all alone in her room, she laughs. She is content to be alone, but LOVES to be talked to and snuggled. She lays her little head on my shoulder when I'm holding her. She smiles when I kiss her and rub my nose on her cheeks. She leans into me when I kiss her neck. She is as sweet as maple syrup and I am completely smitten.

I love that she quietly lets her big sister get most of the attention. In fact, she "talks" the most when her big sister is not around. I love that she patiently allows Layla to "make her fancy" with little hats and wands. I think its sweet that when Layla cries, Adalei cries...and really, that's the only time that sweet little thing cries. She also cries when she wakes up in a strange place and can't see mommy...which makes me feel pretty important :-)

BUT she's growing so fast...seems like she's growing even faster than Layla did. She already has two teeth. YIKES...and she's sitting up and rolling over from front to back and back to front. She normally is a great sleeper...only waking up once at night. BUT now that she's learning new tricks, she is waking herself up rolling around in her crib (and then gets a little mad that she's uncomfortable). She just started on some real food and loves it. She's even holding her own spoon AND has gotten it safely in her mouth twice. Most of the time she misses...but those times she has gotten it right, she just beams with excitement. I had planned on holding her off on cereal until she was 6 months old, but she kept reaching for my food at the dinner table and showing a real interest in eating. She's still only eating a few teaspoons....I guess its mostly just for practice :-) Oh yeah...and iron. Obviously (see video below) she isn't hurting for nutrition.

Sweet little Addie Bells...what a personality you have already....I can't wait to see how it takes shape.

Let's talk Oreos

2010-04-28T17:01:00.000-07:00

It is official. Layla has now crossed into an age for which I have been anxiously awaiting. She is a walking chatter box (we all knew that) BUT she is starting to talk to random people and shares some pretty interesting things with them. Anytime she starts a sentence with, "mommy told me" or "my mommy said" or "daddy says" I feel my heart skip a beat. I am waiting for something embarrassing to slip out. But so far, so good.

ANYWAY...thought I'd share some of her latest and greatest....

(1) I had to run into CVS the other day...Adalei had gone FOUR days without pooping (thanks to a small tiny bite of banana) and Layla and I were hunting for a remedy to help her ailing sister. Layla (per her normal self dressing routine) was wearing her white patent leather dress shoes, winter socks with brown owls on them, one rainbow leg-warmer, a purple tutu, pajama top, princess tiara, headband with GIGANTIC purple flower attached, two necklaces, one glitter microphone and a wand. Yes. They looked at me funny. But not as funny as when my sweet little three year old noticed the nice wall of colorfully decorated condom boxes and blurted out, "hey mommy...remember that time that I played with those". Unfortunately my first response was, "huh"....which meant she repeated herself even louder. I never realized how (1) quiet a CVS was and (2) how much condom boxes looked like the band aid boxes she plays with. I told her she never played with those, she played with band aids. Those weren't band aids. She asked what they were. I told her band aids for grown ups. I think it worked.

(2) As I was getting her undressed/dressed for bed the other night...she informed me that she was being so agreeable to getting undressed because she was "getting kinda hot with all these clothes" and "probably needed to run around naked for a while so she could air out". Air out. Interesting.

(3) She has gotten really into riding in the BOB while I run. Its a workout, but we have some great conversation. She asked me other other day why I ran so much. I told her that it was important to exercise and eat well--that it is important to take care of our bodies. Kind of like brushing our teeth and bathing. This is the conversation that followed:

Layla: Well, what does daddy say about that?

Me: Well, hum. Daddy thinks it is important to eat healthy and exercise too.

Layla: Well...he does eat lots of Oreos. Aren't those not good for you mommy?

Me: They aren't REALLY bad. Just if you eat too many. They have lots of sugar in them.

Layla: Well, what does God say about exercising?

Me: God likes to see us take good care of our bodies. It is one of the ways that we glorify the Lord, and that's pretty important.

Layla: Glorify?

Me: Yeah. Like praising the Lord...making Him happy and stuff.

Layla: Oh. Can we not talk about that anymore? Lets talk about Oreos.

HA!

I love this age. I really do. Its alarming, embarrassing and HILARIOUS at the same time. She keeps me on my toes, for sure and makes me thankful that I don't have a potty mouth!

My heart is a construction zone

2010-04-21T03:04:00.000-07:00

Warning...brutal honesty ahead....and probably some jumbled up thoughts and broken theology.

So...

You may be seeing a pattern here. Neil is leaving on Friday for a camping trip with the guys. A trip that has been planned for a while, but its still another trip--away from home. I had planned on running a half marathon this weekend in Roanoke--registered and everything. I had planned on a nice day trip with the hubby--maybe stopping at a vineyard for lunch after the race. But my plans don't really matter. Neil is going on the camping trip. I am staying home.

When the reality of this sunk in yesterday morning, I went into full on battle mode. I was disappointed, angry and hurt. And I think part of me wanted a fight...I wanted to be mad and then have the opportunity to defend myself. I wanted the right words to make Neil feel really rotten about leaving his family again. I wanted to wallow and whine. My attitude stunk up the whole house.

Thank the Lord, He interrupted my thoughts and my heart yesterday--cause ya'll...it was getting ugly fast. I was reminded that He is enough...that He meets my needs. My response, well okay God but I'm still mad. I'm still the victim here. Aren't I entitled as Neil's wife to express my opinion about him leaving...AGAIN. Aren't I entitled to be a little angry. And PS...I really need a day off. Just maybe an afternoon--I think I'm entitled to that too. Bless my heart. I better get some crazy rewards for keeping my mouth shut.

Ehhh hemmm. And that's just one mili-second inside my head yesterday. See...rotten!

It was an all day battle between the flesh and the Spirit. I didn't recognize it as such until I was reading Layla's devotion to her last night...Galatians 5:16-26--fruits of the Spirit. Gulp. Amazing how God spoke to me through my child's devotion. It was like He reached down and covered my heart with is love and mercy. And I felt peace.

I am not in charge here...I am not the one judging or convicting. Seriously...I'd like to think that my sharp words would convict Neil's heart...but that's not my job. My job is to love him....and I'm completely free to do that every minute of every day because you know what...I'm not the one who disciplines him. I was reminded that my faith is not in man but in God. The disappointment I felt in Neil was completely lifted. The Spirit and flesh cannot co-exist. My flesh felt entitled...my flesh felt jealous...my flesh wanted the satisfaction of harsh words. The Spirit...well He was fighting to keep the peace...to give me self control and patience.

Guys...if you know me at all...this was a small miracle. I hold back and try to be everything to everyone. And when I exhaust myself trying to be the rockstar wife...I bottle it up and then storm around the house angry. I become a pill. I deny myself and I sacrifice, but I want a little pat on the back...I often NEED a pat on the back (I jokingly call this the "martyr syndrome").

But something changed yesterday evening. I desperately wanted to glorify God in my response to Neil and not myself....I wanted to feed the Spirit and not my flesh (believe me...my flesh is not starving here...I feed it plenty every day). So between now and when my husband gets home on Saturday night, I am going to have to willingly give this over to God...multiple times, I'm sure. Because even as I write this....the "what about me" starts creeping in. Funny thing about really sacrificing is that you don't do it with the intent of reaping a reward...of being noticed...I'm starting to realize that I don't sacrifice for Neil. I do it for God. And really, what bragging rights do I have for my tiny little sacrifices when I compare it to the cross. There goes my sense of entitlement...

Aghhh...got a lot of work to do. My sweet Lord is working over time.

Single and working...

2010-04-13T03:00:00.000-07:00

Single, working mothers...my hat is off to you!

Several months ago, I was contacted by an old high school classmate who expressed interest in me photographing his wedding. I felt pretty confident that I could do it...more importantly, Dad seemed confident that I could do it...so I set up a meeting with the sweet little couple. My meeting was yesterday morning.

My wonderful little husband, who would ordinarily jump at the chance to have both girls to himself, had procrastinated on a couple of jobs that needed to be complete before he took off to Kentucky yesterday afternoon, leaving me to wrangle both girls AND meet with the happy couple to talk photography. Great.

So I got both girls dressed and fed, myself dressed, all of our stuff together and off we went. I have to admit, I felt half dressed and scattered--ALREADY. There is nothing like a 3 year old who has absolutely no concept of time and a mommy who is in a hurry. I detest when I get us into those situations--because I become impatient (read *selfish*) and Layla acts out accordingly.

When we are finally in the car, I turn to Layla to apologize for our less than stellar morning and vow that the day will get better. We arrive at the bookstore with 5 minutes to spare...SWEET! I decided to just bring in a diaper and the wipes container for Adalie...you know, my hip factor decreases slightly with a huge diaper bag and I have to look hip and professional for my meeting (you know, as professional as you can with two little ones in tow). Anyway, Adalei was just waking up from a nap in her car seat...but what on Earth was that stench. I asked Layla if she smelled something...she sniffed and gagged. Yep. Poop...baby poop. Nice. Thank goodness for that extra 5 minutes. Off we go the restroom.

I unbuckle sweet little stinky Adalei and my hand slides (yes...SLIDES) into something wet and gooey. I knew it...not just a yucky diaper, but an explosive one. There is poop EVERYWHERE. Layla is gagging like crazy and I am trying to maintain composure. Adalei's change of clothes were in the diaper bag (which was in the car because mommy was too cool to carry it in)....so she'd have to be naked for a little while. Score one for mommy of the year...naked baby in Barnes and Nobel! I laid her on the table, stripped her down and got to work...only to notice I had one tiny little wipe.

Mommy: Layla, what happened to Adalie's wipes?

Layla: Oh, those wipes

Mommy: Yes (note, hint of impatience).

Layla: I needed them for my lambie, she had a yucky diaper.

Mommy: Great. Did you get lambie all cleaned up?

Layla: Yeah, she's clean.

Mommy: Sweet, now you can help mommy clean up your little sister.

Layla: Okay, but remember, I'm expensive so we don't want to mess me up.

Huh?

So every inch of my tiny little wipe was used...as was toilet paper...as was the leg of Adalei's pants that didn't have poop all over them...to get the job done. I got her changed, got the car seat cleaned out...managed to hug Layla, who was a superstar helper--an "expensive" superstar.

We met with the couple (6.5 minutes late)..me, Layla and naked little Adalei. Layla blurted out that her sister got poop all over herself so I assured the couple that I managed to save the CD that I burned for them from the explosion. I looked down and realized that I did, however, manage to NOT save my shirt. Ya'll...I had baby bottom print on my shirt in yellow poop where I picked Adalie up trying to get her back cleaned off! Okay, so am I still hip..still professional? Sure. I think so. I told myself it probably just blended in or maybe looked like pollen? Fortunately, I was there as a photographer...so I was just being an eccentric artist and could get away with stuff like that...yeah, that sounds right :-)

The meeting went great, but I left promising myself that I would NEVER ever NEVER do such a crazy thing again--at least for the next week. More importantly, I am thankful that I have that choice. So many mommies out there don't...and my hat is off to them. I can't begin to imagine the level of stress that they feel in so many different areas.

Single, working moms...thank you thank you thank you! You guys are rockstars.

Romance me

2010-03-24T02:59:00.000-07:00

This post has been on my heart for a while....ugh...I hope I do it justice...

I admit it...I feel for the "prosperity doctrine" albeit brief--I still feel for it. Several years ago as I was interviewing for a new job, I was directed to the writing of one prominent teacher of the prosperity doctrine (I'm sure most of you know this chipper fella--but I won't mention him by name). Anyway, when I didn't get the job that I thought was the desire of my heart, I figured that I didn't trust enough...that I didn't say the right words when I was asking God for the desires of my heart. That maybe my request line to God was broken.

Um yeah...sadly mistaken and mislead was I. I threw the prosperity doctrine right out the window and was pretty much finished asking God for anything--other than those last minute hail Mary moments when I really needed help or those weeks out of the month when I was feeling extra spiritual. Sad, but true. I was a Sunday morning/couple days out of the week Christian. I was comfortable...I was worldly.

Less than a year ago, Neil and I started a morning Bible study together. In that time, my heart begin to dramatically change shape. God was calling me to him and I started to listen a little better. Over the months, I have been disciplined by a loving God--most of it doesn't feel very good--and its certainly not comfortable, but its worth it. I prayed that God shed light on my weakness so that I can trust Him more--and shed light he has. Its humbling when all your weaknesses are pulled out and you realize that you truly are but dust--incapable of NOTHING good.

During this time, I've had an intense desire to love God more than I love Neil. I depend on Neil for so much--for too much. In the past, I have depended on him for more things than he is capable of delivering. On a good week, Neil was "successful" as a husband, but on a bad week--I was hard to please. As I realized that Neil was not intended to be my shelter, my provider, my lover--that I shouldn't depend on affirmation and acceptance from him, I realized I had a LOT of work to do.

I begin searching the scriptures and begging God to show up. I found Eph 3: 14-20. It became my prayer...everyday--the desire of my heart! Not a new job, not a nicer car, not a second home--just God...just to be consumed by Him--to live under His shadow (instead of moving in front of it like I stubbornly try to do). God began working on me--sharpening me, conforming me, breaking me....and romancing me. And you know what happened, I felt a freedom with Neil...a freedom to love the heck out of him with no expectations and no real needs.

This week--I received the desire of my heart--but not as the prosperity doctrine teaches. Neil has been away for almost a week now serving God in Guinea Bissau. Have I missed him? Yeah--more than words can say. But you know what...I have felt so full, so content, so happy while he has been away. I actually get REALLY excited about talking to my Lord at night and reading my Bible. I've found the perfect companion--the lover of my soul...and I've begged Him to stay--right here--as close to me as my skin. And I'm gonna keep begging, every hour of every day.

More to come later...and hopefully I'll be able to post some exciting pictures from Neil's trip. My hubby can take some pretty amazing photographs...seriously, I haven't found a thing he ISN'T amazing at. He can even change a pretty mean diaper in a flash.

The most vibrant red

2010-03-16T11:54:00.000-07:00

This is way to good to pass up.

If you know my little red head...you know her as the dramatic type. When she is sick...there is no mistaking it. When she is happy...you know it. When she is uncomfortable...you know it. She has a flair for fashion and a very vibrant personality. I joke that if our family was a box of crayons, she'd be the brightest red crayon in the box. She is Layla and I don't think God made another like her and WOW how I love that little thing!

Events unfolded today that have made it one of the most memorable mom days yet...

My hubby is leaving for Africa on Thursday, so me and the girls took a trip to Wal-Mart for his last minute care package stuff--you know, the essentials (peanut butter, granola bars, dried fruit and nuts, Gatorade powder, malaria medication). While we were walking through the store, I heard one of Layla's dramatic gasps and knew she must have spotted a baby doll or stuffed animal that she was in love with. I was partially right...she found a baby doll...a pretty pink one BUT she wanted to buy it and send it with daddy. I told her daddy probably wouldn't need a baby to sleep with to which she quickly responded that it was not for daddy but for a little girl in Africa who didn't have a baby doll. We also bought gummy snacks to send...because every little girl needs gummy snacks, right? I was instantly blown away by how sweet and unselfish she was--right there in the middle of the baby doll aisle!

So we get home...fast forward to nap time. I get her snuggled in and walk out of the room--only to hear her screaming minutes later. I walk in to deliver her tissue that I forgot to leave for her (since becoming sick with that cold WEEKS ago, she now has to have a tissue every time she goes to bed). I walked out of the room and turned around to say "nite nite" when I saw her leaning on her railing--you know..the kind that is supposed to keep your toddler IN the bed. I started to tell her not to lean on it...it would break--for the 50th time--when I heard a pop, and saw her fall--face first--to the ground.

DRAMA....she wailed. I picked her up and asked her what hurt. Her lip. It was "broken"....so I asked her to move it, wiggle it and smile. She did all of those with the most pained look on her face. I told her the good news was that she could move it...so it was probably just a really bad sprain. She told me that she'd probably still need crutches. INTERESTING! Who knew that lip sprains required crutches. Well, now ya know! She also said she really felt like the dog in Sandlot when the fence fell on him and everyone was sad. Then she asked that I act like Smalls (the kid in the brown shirt and khakis) and be sad for her (for a replay...fast forward to 7:15).

Thankfully, I held my laugh until I shut her door. I'm still laughing. Gosh...I just have the best job in the world and I still have the WHOLE afternoon in front of me.

Modified Vaccination Schedule

2010-03-11T17:21:00.000-08:00

Adalei had her 3 month check up this week...12 pounds and 23.5 inches, which surprisingly puts her in the 25-35th percentile...and here I was thinking she looked like a tiny little linebacker with all those adorable rolls. I thought she was going to be in the 60th percentile or something...seriously--the girl has some rolls, guys.

SO--Neil and I talked a lot about it...I did a TON of research and prayed like crazy and we decided on modified vaccination schedule. The doctors were not completely happy about it because it goes against the American Academy of Peds...but I kept repeating to myself (as Dr. Griffith tried to convince me to follow the normal schedule) "I'm the mama, I'm the mama, I'm the mama". I'm not going to lie..I almost caved. I am so NOT assertive. So NOT assertive. I try...I like to think I am, but I am not. I rarely--if ever--complain or send dishes back at restaurants. I never argue a store's return policy...I pretty much suck it up and deal with it because me and confrontation = NOT FRIENDS. Anyway...I was so worried that I'd cave, so the fact that I stood my ground with confidence was an answer to prayer.

Fortunately, Dr. Griffith looked at the schedule and gave me her blessing, well, as much as she could because she has to stick with the AAP guidelines. I think she was somewhat relieved that I didn't go for the Dr. Sears vaccination schedule :-)

So--what does the new schedule look like...

Hep B: Delay until a year before she starts school

HIB: 4 mos, 6 mos, 8 mos, 17 mos

IVP: 4 mos, 6 mos, 8 mos, 17 mos

DtaP: 5 mos, 7 mos, 9 mos, 16 mos

Prevnar: One dose @ 4 mos

Varicela: decline

MMR: 18 mos

So there it is in all its glory. Essentially what I've done is spread them out so that she is getting no more than two at a time (except for 4 mos when she'll get the Prevnar). SO, I'll be going every month--which is fine--and she won't be getting the crazy cocktails of shots so early on.

If anyone is interested in the articles and books I researched...let me know and I'll pass them on to you. There is SO much out there...so much misinformation on both sides its frustrating as a parent for sure.

NEXT post..RUNNING...as speed work has not yet commenced, I'll have no stories of wetting my pants post baby--I assure you :-)

What a day!

2010-03-02T17:56:00.000-08:00

(though I'd like to take credit for this little beauty...dad took the picture and mom knitted the hat--pretty talented folks, huh)

Last night was crazy. Adalei was up for her normal 12:30 am feeding/diaper change. Then Layla was up at 1:15 and did not go back to sleep until 3:45--she was feeling yucky and finding all sorts of reasons NOT to sleep. Needless to say, neither did I. So when my internal alarm woke me up at 5:30 this morning, I contemplated forgoing my quiet time for some extra sleep. Thankfully, God was persistent. In fact, I was quickly reminded that given my night and the day that stood in front of me, I needed time in prayer more than sleep. I couldn't afford the extra sleep. He was right...He's always right. So I crawled out of bed--made coffee and sat down for my quiet time. As I prayed, I pleaded with God to carry me through the day--that without him I was destined to fail miserably as a mother and I knew my girls needed me. I thanked Him (for some crazy reason) for Layla's wakefulness the previous night and then time I spent mothering her. It was a pleasure (minus the sleep deprivation).

SO at 6:45 am my day got started...

It was interesting to say the least! Layla has developed quite the terrible cold/cough combo and woke up way earlier than she should have. She is definitely her daddy's daughter when it comes to being sick. She's nothing short of dramatic. I think I carried her around ALL day today because her legs were tired. Apparently there must be a link between legs and snotty noses--I think she overheard me talking to a friend about her legs being tired after a long run and noticed some sympathy in my voice.

She did not nap...neither did Adalei. Layla's coughing kept them both awake. And--they both needed sleep. I think we all did. So for two hours straight this afternoon Layla cried...then Adalei...then Layla..then Adalei. Mostly they cried at the same time and both wanted to be held. I cheerfully carried them both around...I cleaned up snot...a bloody mouth (Layla popped her mouth on the sink--adding to the drama)...explosive poop and was surprisingly calm and happy. At times I wondered if I maybe I had just lost my mind because how could someone like me...someone who does NOT deal well with messed up schedules...be so happy in chaos.

God is pretty flipping amazing, huh? On my own...I would have been horrific. I would have surely lost my cool. I would have certainly cried too...I would have more than likely lacked sympathy for my dramatic little red head. But God knew what my babies needed today and He worked through me today. I know--it's small...it was God working in the confines of my house. But--it was an amazing answer to prayer--a prayer that I have been praying for weeks...to rely completely on Him each minute of each day--specifically with my children. Because guys--truth be told--I am nothing more than a wretched mommy on my own. I thank God for His mercy and grace because I was shown an awful lot today!

A messed up attempt at theology for toddlers-Part 1

2010-02-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

As I was putting Layla to bed last night I confronted a beast that I knew was coming...yet I was COMPLETELY unprepared for it. I probably could have handled a dinosaur in her closet or a monster under her bed much better than I handled this...and I'm almost embarrassed to admit to it.

So our conversation after her night prayer time went like this:

Layla: When we talk to the Lord, is it God or Jesus.

Me: Well, both. It kinda just depends.

Layla: Well, who were you just talking to.

Me: Jesus.

Layla: Why?

Me: (thinking...get me out of here...I'm drowning in my own stupidity) You know, I probably should think about this a little more before I answer.

Layla: Why?

Me: Well, mommy is a little confused.

Layla: Do you just like Jesus more?

Me: No baby...I'm just...well...I don't know.

AGH! I failed her. I completely failed. A giant "F" on my biblical mommy report card.

So today at rest time...after reading her favorite Bible story about the 5 loaves and 2 fish...she asked me if God was Jesus. So I explained to her that He was...kind of like I am mommy, daddy's wife and her nana and poppy's daughter ALL at the same time. The conversation went something like this:

Layla: Well, is God a daddy then?

Me: Yep.

Layla: Who's His daddy?

Me: You mean, who's He a daddy to?

Layla: Yeah.

Me: Everybody. (hoping this blanket statement would end the conversation)

Layla: Is he my daddy?

Me: Yeah (not so much a strong yeah...because I had a feeling what was to follow).

Layla: Well, what about my daddy?

Me: WELL, God let mommy and daddy borrow you for a while...because he loves us so much and he thought you would be a very special gift for us.

Layla: Oh. Let's read another story that isn't about God, okay?

Me: (wiping the sweat from my face) Okay.

I should not have been so exhausted by that exchange and SO confused when I walked out of the room. I feel like I should have been more prepared. Like the biggest exam of my life...the biggest test to date and I was unprepared. No more. I'm studying up and more importantly...I'm committing it to prayer. I've realized that I can do nothing...that I make a mess of everything on my own..but God...He's good--He makes everything neat again. So hopefully through His guidance and His words, I can make sense out of this mess I've made for Layla. Poor thing. I bet her little head hurt too!

Someone PLEASE tell me you've goofed up in this area too..that I'm not the only mommy feeling like I need to wear a dunce hat for the remainder of the day.

For the love of cupcakes

2010-02-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

Now that Neil is playing at church each Sunday, mornings have proved interesting--getting Layla fed and dressed (which is another story entirely--she thinks dress up clothes are not only for play but also for church--this Sunday's choice--pink leotard, tutu and leg warmers--I'm not kidding guys!) and Adalei fed and dressed and myself fed and dressed.

So this past Sunday, I decided to give Layla a very important job while I got dressed--watching her little sister--you know--as much as a three year old with Angelina Ballerina on the TV can watch her little baby sister who is far less interesting. ANYWAY--as I made my way to the bathroom to start my short makeup routine, I noticed that it was really quiet--which is never a good thing. I walked around the corner into the kitchen only to find Layla on her little stool reaching into the box of leftover cupcakes from her birthday. While I briefly entertained the idea of making her put it back, she was far too adorable with the sheepish grin and red icing all over her fingers. So I grabbed a plate and napkin for her, as she was in a hurry to get back to her cartoon and her "job".

She made her way back into the living room because she "had a job to do"--watching baby sister. As I continued to get dressed, I overheard her talking to Adalei and Adalei was giggling and cooing up a storm. I smiled to myself thinking of how sweet it was for Layla to choose to spend time with her sister rather than watch her FAVORITE cartoon. As I walked closer to the door--my heart still smiling--I heard this one-way conversation between Layla and Adalei.

Layla: I just love cupcakes. These are special birthday cupcakes. I bet you'd like cupcakes, Addie Bells. Ummm hummm...these are good cupcakes. Mommy got them special for my birthday. You don't have teeth Addie Bells.

Adalei: squeal

So I walked around the corner--took one look at my adorable little three year old on the floor with her sister and paused--something didn't seem quite right. Adalei turned her head when she heard my voice and all I saw was bright red icing all over her little face. Yep--Adalei has definitely--most certainly been introduced to the cupcake. No wonder the squeals of delight from the living room. Her cheeks smelled like butter cream and had a subtle hint of red for the rest of the day--and I'm pretty sure she developed an instant love of sugar. Great!

Happy Birthday Layla An

2010-02-10T17:27:00.000-08:00

She's three tomorrow! Its so hard to believe that three years ago I was DYING to meet her and starting to feel the contractions that would bring her into this world. Its even harder for me to imagine my life without her--without her contagious smile...her giggles...her sweet little hands holding mine...the trails of mess that she leaves behind. Its hard to imagine my windows without little finger prints all over them and a refrigerator without her newest masterpiece placed neatly on the door.

I still look at her and can't believe that God trusted me with such a sweet spirited little girl--one with a huge heart and an even bigger smile. She has made me forever vulnerable and

words can't begin to describe how blessed that little redhead makes me feel. Its my prayer that some day...she'll be proud and feel blessed that I'm her mommy--that she'll be called to Jesus and learn the love that only He can give. I know--big prayers--but go big or go home, right :-)

Happy Birthday sweet Layla An...you are indeed--fearfully and wonderfully made--a perfect little you!

Pictures and updates

2010-01-31T03:49:00.001-08:00

WELL, the wedding went great...sorry to just NOW be posting! The cake turned out really well (see it at www.autumnsongphotography.com)--and I learned that I (1) really respect cake people (2) will NEVER make a career out of decorating cakes and being a mommy at the same time (3) *sigh* am willing to admit that I am still--at the ripe old age of almost 30--in desperate need of my momma's help. Whew...that last one was a hard one :-) But let's just say the cake would have probably gotten done--but I would have been a basket case in the process. Can you imagine setting up the cakes--at the venue--with a nursing baby who SHOULD be sleeping but rather decides to fill up a diaper and want to nurse--all while I am covered in cream cheese icing and coconut and facing a strict deadline to be back at the church and dressed as a bridesmaid for pictures. Aye Aye Aye! Thank goodness for family (aunt Sharon--if you are reading this--I am FOREVER grateful to you for coming to Graylyn and helping).So as you can imagine--once the wedding was over, I was greeted with a nice little stomach virus which I then shared with my sweet momma! What a payment for her help, huh?

Thankfully--we are all back to normal now! And through it all and by God's grace, my girls stayed happy...healthy...and as rested as they could be. God is so good. I can't tell you how worried I was about them over the wedding weekend and with this virus. I know--I should know better than to worry, but I think that's part of my job description as a mommy!

SO some updates...

Addie Bells...

Sweet little Addie Bells. Amazing how different a second baby is. I haven't worried about schedules or nursing times or anything with her. Its been the most laid back experience of my life and WOW...she has found her own little schedule and it is both predictable and perfect! My favorite part of the schedule--her 7:30 or 8am wake up call to snuggle and be held. It happens almost without fail! She kind of cries out--I go pick her up...and she snuggles right next to my neck in the living room and dozes off for another 10-15 minutes before looking up at me and smiling the sweetest little toothless smile in the world. And guys...that girl has started cooing like a crazy woman. She "talks" almost all morning--and is starting to experiment with the

volume of her cooing--which is absolutely adorable! She has even started giggling at me. She's holding her head up like a champ, rolling over and is swatting at things--which means I now

have to put down the coffee cup when I'm nursing. Strangly, she's accomplished all this "stuff" without me "working" with her--agh how I worked and worked and worked with Layla to meet her little milestones. Thank goodness Adalei is a self-driven overachiever :-)

She loves her big sister--who probably get the award for being the recipient of most of the "giggles" and only a few of the cries. Layla likes to sneak in and take Adalei's socks off because Layla doesn't like to sleep in socks. Layla also likes to cover Adalei up but sometimes startles her by tucking her in just a little too tight.

Layla An...

She's growing up too fast...her sentences are changing...her little mind is working over time--thus the 50 BILLION questions before going to bed, ranging from "Did God make my pjs?" to "Why don't we wear shoes to bed?". All are very important questions that need thoughtful answers--believe me, I tried to make quick half-hearted answers and that didn't work.

Layla is BEGGING me to teach her to read. So, we are finishing up working our way through letter recognition and letter sounds. She's actually doing pretty good with it--given that her attention span is pretty short. She's also shown in interest in learning what time it is and what that means--so we are getting her a clock and working on telling time. AND she's got a repertoire of 4 memory verses in her little noggin--thanks to her daddy. He is the BEST at pulling out the perfect memory verses at the perfect time. My personal favorite just happens to be "Honor your father and mother" or as Layla says, "Honger your fager and muger" .

Okay...so here are some pictures of Adalei that dad sent me. He's letting me borrow his fancy smancy camera so I can get back to snapping away...so expect more (and less perfect) pictures coming your way. I've missed annoying Layla with my picture taking :-)

The Messy Chef

2010-01-20T02:44:00.000-08:00

Okay--as promised...my update on Project Wedding cake.

My sweet and very giving mom and dad insisted on getting Layla yesterday and playing with her all day so that I could stay focused on my cakes. They must know that I (a) never--okay rarely--ask for help and (b) don't take help unless someone insists and I know they are helping because the want to help (not out of obligation). So it was perfect for mom and dad to INSIST on and be excited about playing with Layla all day yesterday.

SO I took Layla to mom and dad's yesterday morning at around 9am and Adalei and I hit the local Wal-Mart for eggs, butter, flour, sugar--all that good stuff. Adalei was such a trooper during her first Wal-Mart experience. I think she liked all the lights and color because she just looked around without a peep. So we grabbed everything from the list and off we went.

By 11:30, my first batch of layers were in the oven (and I was out the door for a run while they cooked)--the 6 inch and 10 inch and the batter and pan for the 12 inch was prepared. Lauren and Augie wanted a three tiered coconut cake for the center and two, two tiered funfetti cakes for the side. The coconut cakes really turned out great. I used a recipe from a European cake baking book that I have had for a while--so I had to convert all the European measurements to American standard measurements--FUN FUN FUN. That could have spelled disaster for me. You see, I consider myself a pretty good cook--definitely not a chef. Chefs are precise--I like to improvise. Chefs have great technique--I do not (you should see me chop an onion--its laughable). So as you can imagine--the idea of having to be both precise and use great technique had me really worried. Cakes are funny that way...a little too much of any ingredient and its a flop.

BUT---guys...I am so proud to say...all the layers turned out perfectly! And they taste amazing. My camera is broken, but I'm going to try and borrow my dad's so that I can take pictures of all the layers before I fill and ice them. I wish I would have had a camera yesterday because my clothes, my hair and my kitchen were COVERED in flour. But I'm sure it'll be much more interesting when I whip out the powdered sugar on Friday :-)

SO yay...Project Wedding cake is off to a great start. And, Layla had a great day with her Nana, poppy and Bradyn at the Children's Museum. In fact, to show you how much fun those two have together...here's a picture that dad took the other day when they had Layla and Bradyn over to play (of course Layla had to were her princess dress ups and glitter shoes for a hike in the woods...I mean really, what 3 year old girl wouldn't?). I hope they are always close--and I hope they always make each other laugh like they do.

FINALLY, pictures of Adalei are coming...I promise. I have lots of video, but because our camera is broken, I'm having to get pictures from my dad. I've ordered the batter charger for the camera and hoping it will fix the problem. We'll see! So bear with me...I hope to have some new pictures up soon.

Addie Bell to Wedding Bells

2010-01-16T11:58:00.000-08:00

WOW how I have neglected this poor little blog. Things have been so busy around here...but nothing seems quite blog-able...or maybe I just have mommy brain right now and my focus has been shifted from "what can I blog about this week" to "how can such a little thing produce so much POOP".

So I should probably do some little updates...

Adalei (and as Neil is calling her "Addie Bell) is doing great. She's had a couple of yucky evenings where she cried pretty hard and only wanted mommy for about an hour or so. On these nights, Neil so nicely (yet timing was slightly off) reminded me that these little (BIG) cries are a blessing from God. True, for sure...but that doesn't mean they are pleasant. However, the past few nights have been a breeze...especially since I started giving her a tiny bit of acidolpilous. She's been going to sleep around 8 or 9 and sleeping like a champ. She's smiling at me now which is AMAZING--and sometimes it's coupled with a faint little giggle. The first time I got a big ol' toothless smile, my eyes filled up with tears. I love that she knows me...knows my smell, my voice, my face--and Neil swears she knows my footsteps.

She is a great little sleeper--YAY--for the most part. She falls asleep on her own and is still sleeping for 4 and 5 hour stretches at night. She generally wakes up happy and is very easy to satisfy. She makes it easy for me to think about having more babies :-)

Layla...sweet little Layla. What can I say--Neil and I have been blessed with one of the sweetest spirited girls in the world. I cannot say enough how amazing that little girl has been through such a dramatic change in her little family dynamic. And fortunately--now that all my post-pregnancy hormones have regulated and my sleep schedule has gotten better, I am FINALLY back to being the same ol' mommy that she was used to--pre pregnancy. THAT has made a world of difference...at least it seems to have.

I'm back to running regularly again. I started running again after about a week and a half--still feeling sore and tired at the end of a run. My core muscles suffered the worst from pregnancy, but they seemed to have bounced back with a little help from some exercises. I've had a couple of weeks of really enjoyable and great runs. It has been so nice to have one area where things are normal...one little constant...a time of day where I can focus, recharge and spend some time in prayer. Soon, dad and I will start our training regimen for the Marine Corps Marathon in the fall and a half marathon in the spring. I can't wait to tackle some hills and the track--I've been craving a run that leaves me completely depleted. What a great feeling! And I have a new partner (I hope)...my sweet Carmen (who just welcomed baby Noah last week) is going to train with us...YIPEE! I treasure my time with her and am SO excited that it's going to be on the increase.

Finally...WHEW...

Neil's sister is GETTING MARRIED this coming weekend! We are so excited to see the family growing and the guy that stole her heart is the sweetest and most amazing match for her. I can't wait to write a post after the wedding and include some pictures :-) Layla is going to be a flower girl--which has her VERY excited because flower girl = fancy--and you know how that girl loves being fancy. And I--yours truly--am making the wedding cake. Yup...you heard it right here folks...I am making a WEDDING CAKE. I'll update mid week with pictures and hopefully a very positive post about all my progress :-) See, I'm off to a great start...thinking positive and getting started early--like tomorrow I am making the layers.

SO I have a busy and exciting week ahead...and am thanking God for blessing us with a very easy baby and a sweet little almost three year old so that I can fulfill my promise to make the best wedding cake ever! Pictures and updates to come...PROMISE.

The Great Physician

2009-12-30T02:00:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago, Adalei had her first baby exam at the pediatrician's office. She was a champ--no tears even as I walked her naked little body down to be laid on those cold scales. She wasn't able to see her pediatrician that day--and I was just a little bummed. Dr. Griffith has been Layla's pediatrician since birth and I have LOVED her--BUT because babies' first appointments are kind of last minute, I guess you have to take whoever you can get. SO we saw a new doctor--who was great with Adalei--very knowledgeable and super sweet (but not Dr. Griffith).

The exam went great until he got to her hips and wiggled them around--I've always wondered what the purpose was in wiggling their hips like they did and I was soon to find out. The doctor finished the exam, picked up Adalei and handed her to me. He said everything looked perfect except for her left hip. During labor, babies release the hormone relaxin to allow for their joints to be flexible enough to adapt to the tight quarters of the birth canal. Because their joints become more flexible during birth, some babies' ball and socket joints become completely dislodged. Adalei was one of those babies. The doctor ordered an ultrasound to see how bad her hips looked so that we could determine if she'd have to wear a brace or have surgery. WHAT?!? I was in shock. The idea of this perfect little one having to endure surgery or having to wear a brace and be different than other babies sent me reeling. I just don't think a parent can ever be prepared for that kind of thing--and this was minor compared to what so many other mommies and daddies go through with their newborns.

I walked out of the room--made her two week exam appointment (with Dr. Griffith), scheduled the ultrasound for after Christmas and New Year's and grabbed my phone to call Neil. I tried to gloss over the whole hip thing--partially to protect me from hearing myself say that little Adalei may have to have surgery and partially to protect Neil from being worried. But he's a pretty sharp guy and picked up on the severity of it pretty quickly.

When I got home and took Adalei back to the bedroom to change her diaper...Neil followed with his little prayer journal that he keeps. He wrote down the date and then he wrote down "do not--DO NOT--be shocked when the doctors say Adalei's hip is healed". My first thought, "good luck with that one, buddy". So we prayed for her--and I continued to pray with every single diaper change--except probably the night ones where I'm not at 100%--when I would see her sweet little hip and remind myself to be careful with her. I have to admit though...I said more than a few prayers that were lacking in faith over the course of two weeks. Oddly enough, Neil and I had been working our way through Mark and the passage where a man brings his spirit possessed son to Jesus for healing kept ringing in my ears (Mark 9:14-30)--in particular the verse where the father says, "I do belive; help my unbelief". Never had that one verse made so much sense....it became a part of my prayers over then next few weeks--a huge part of my prayers. Neil shared the news with his bible study group--a group of guys that are a blessing to BOTH of us--and they all prayed for Adalei. That little thing was covered up in prayers, that's for sure!

SO...

Monday was her two week check up. I was dreading it. I dreaded hearing them tell me how yucky her hip was and what we'd have to do to make sure the problem was addressed. When Dr. Griffith walked in, I felt my heart beat a little faster. She examined Adalei's eyes, ears, mouth, tummy...and then started to open her diaper. I held my breath and walked across the room to look over her as she pushed on Adalei's hips. She pushed once....scrunched her face a little...and pushed again. This is the conversation that followed:

Dr. G: Interesting

Me: Yeah, the doctor she saw last time recommended an ultrasound for her hip, we just haven't had it done yet.

Dr. G: I saw that on her chart, but I just don't understand. Her hip is perfectly normal.

Me: Excuse me?

Dr. G: Her hip is normal. I don't see any reason to schedule that ultrasound. I'm not sure what happened here, but what you have here is a perfectly healthy, normal and cute as a button baby. She's going to be easy to spoil.

I laughed and agreed about the "easy to spoil" part. But I'm sure I was white as a sheet. I think if she would have touched my shoulder...I would have fallen over. I was in complete shock. When she left the room and I looked over at Adalei--kicking her feet and content as could be--my elbows hit that exam table and I wept. As I got her dressed, I couldn't help but look at her hip and be in awe that her little hip had been touched by my sweet Lord. I think her little hip will always be a reminder to me of God's mercy and faithfulness. I can hardly look at it--even days later--without feeling humbled.

So while some may give credit to coincidence--or some may think it was just a normal mistake made by a doctor--I like to think that my sweet baby was healed by the Great Physician. I really don't think there is any other explanation.

Big Sister

2009-12-19T11:50:00.000-08:00

Sweet little Layla...boy am I having a time with her! She is absolutely perfect with Adalei--loves her so much already. Layla constantly wants to hold her and snuggle with her...constantly!

But...something is going on with my first born baby. Not only does she look like a giant now, she's different--maybe its just me, but she seems different to me. She's more independent than before--insisting on doing everything--I mean EVERYTHING--by herself. She wants to carry her own plate to the table, throw all the trash away, wrap Christmas presents, get dressed and undressed, wash her own hair...you name it--she wants to do it...ALL BY HERSELF. As you can imagine, this comes with a lot of frustration on her part. Its almost as if she's stuck between still wanting to be a baby and being a "big girl". She's been whiny with me--wanting to rock in her rocking chair, wanting to be carried around the house, sung to sleep...etc. I am trying to be extra patient, but she's wearing me down. And I think she's acting out in order to get extra attention. She's great most of the day--until it starts getting close to nap time and bed time. Its almost as if when she starts to get tired, she loses all forms of self control. So my prayer this week has been for gentleness and understanding--and sometimes by 12:45 I am just short of falling on my knees and BEGGING for divine intervention.

So while this transition has been really pretty smooth--it still pains me to see Layla struggle even just a tiny bit. I guess its natural--and normal...but I just hate to see her like this--I hate for her to think that she has to do anything more than just "be" in order to get my attention...I hate for her to think she isn't my baby anymore...I hate for her to feel like she's in second place--even for a second. Maybe I'm taking this too serious but I couldn't help but feel that rush of emotions while I was rocking her...YES...rocking her last night. She was huge and heavy in my arms and my heart broke into a billion pieces.

Okay...so maybe this is post-pregnancy hormones coming into play here...or maybe I am just terrible with change. Either way...I'm ready to adjust to this new family dynamic already! Alright, so I admit it--sounds like its probably ME not Layla that's having the hard time here, huh? Nothing like reading your own thoughts on a computer screen to make you have a nice little "ah ha" moment :-) Darn those psychology classes making me over think EVERYTHING I say and do for fear of scaring my child!

Merry Christmas guys...I can't wait to post pictures and write about our holiday with a family of FOUR!

Birth Story...Adalei Grace

2009-12-16T03:41:00.000-08:00

As most of you probably already know, Neil and I welcomed little Adalei Grace into our family last Wednesday night. And can I just say...I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a newborn in my house. I had forgotten about all the sweet little newborn things until Adalei came---the random smiles, the cries that are so sweet--I'm even enjoying our night time feedings and the cries that wake me up. Although, this one doesn't cry much--only when she's cold (must get that from her mommy...I HATE being even slightly cold).

So the birth story...

I had written several months ago that I was going to try to go without having an epidural--not for any reason other than the health of Adalei and just to see what it felt like. As the time got closer and I had read NOTHING on natural childbirth, I started getting nervous. Let me back up...I am not one to read and study methodology--it stresses me out because I am one of those people who like to follow all the rules. So, with the birth of both Layla and Adalei, Neil and I decided it best to not do birthing classes and not read too much on the birth experience and just let instinct take over.

So we checked into the hospital at around 2:00 on Wednesday afternoon. The doctor broke my water at 3:45 and I was 6 cm dilated. By 4:45 the contractions were SO close and the pressure was INCREDIBLE. At around 5:15pm I really entertained the idea of giving up and taking my medicine :-) The doctor came back in and checked me--8cm and moving quickly. By 5:30 I was ready to push...and I think I had started hallucinating a little (strange--probably out of pain and out of hunger--I hadn't eaten anything but dry cereal all day). I only lost my temper with one

little nurse who kept asking me questions during YES DURING contractions. Neil said I was perfectly polite and graceful, but I knew the thoughts that were behind my short "yes" and "no" answers...I wanted to strangle the poor girl!

Neil did great through the whole thing. I think this showed me what a great team we make. He held my hand and was quiet most of the time--only offering encouragement just when I needed it. Amazing how he knew exactly what to do--I could not have asked for a better "wing man". He was perfectly strong and gentle at the same time. Just what I needed.

I started pushing at around 5:45 and Adalei came at 5:55--5 lbs and 15 oz--and 19 3/4 inches long. I think I pushed through 4 contractions with no tearing--YIPEE. The doctor said I was free to start running in two weeks (so if you are keeping track--that's one week from TODAY!). I'm already on the elliptical and feeling great--so fingers crossed that this is an easy transition.

So was it worth it--the whole pain thing. Absolutely. I loved the feeling of Adalei coming into this world--a feeling I didn't entirely have with Layla. It forced me to be 100% present...100% in the moment. Adalei was alert enough to nurse and nurse GREAT for the first 45 minutes of her life. I was able to hold her without her being rushed to the nursery. I also declined her Hep B shot--which I'm sure she appreciated.

Do I feel empowered? Nope..no more than I felt empowered by running hills or nursing my babies or cleaning poopy diapers...or making a dinner that Neil loved. I do feel grateful that God gave me a body that could endure childbirth easily. I feel grateful that the whole experience makes me want to have more (Neil asked in the hospital when I'd be ready for more...HA! I love that he loves babies in our house!). So grateful...not so much empowered.

I will say this to all of you who are thinking of natural childbirth--make CERTAIN you specify to the nurse that you want your delivery table set up when you get to 6cm. That was the loudest banging and clanging I have EVER heard...and not very pleasant when you are in pain.

AHH...I hear that sweet little cry in the bedroom...I think its milk time! Moo!

I'll post more later...I'm dying to get my thoughts down on sweet little Layla and how she's doing with the new baby! She's great...better than expected--mommy on the other hand...having a pretty hard time seeing my first baby looking so big...

Today's the DAY...I hope

2009-12-09T03:16:00.001-08:00

Tricky little Adalei...she has been tempting us with the thought of her presence for what seems like DAYS. I had a doctor's appointment last Friday and the nurse when ahead and stripped my membranes. From what I read, in about 90% of pregnant women--stripping their membranes sends them into labor within 72 hours. I am part of that 10% who get NOTHING but some slight discomfort.

Sunday proved to be pretty interesting. I had some mild contractions that started 30 minutes apart and quickly moved to 6-7 minutes apart along with bleeding. So Monday morning found us at the doctor's office just to check and see what was going on. I was dilated 4.5 cm....YAY! So they recommended I either stay at home and walk or that I check into the hospital. Neil and I opted to go home and walk. So I did--and contractions picked up a little. On Monday evening, we went to the hospital but I was still just at 5 cm. The doctor on call wanted me to stay and said he'd break my water, see how I progressed and then give me some pitocin. Uh, no thanks. SO, Neil and I decided to come home and wait it out. I did find out this interesting bit of knowledge. I have A+ blood--apparently women with A+ blood tend to have pretty slow "early" labor but really REALLY quick labor once they reach the 6-7cm dilated part. NICE! I'll take that.

But here I sit. Wednesday morning--still waiting it out. I think I have this crazy fear of going to the hospital too quick and giving into getting the meds that I really want to avoid. But the good news...contractions are much closer and much stronger. I believe that today is going to be the day--hopefully even this morning! But we'll see. I'm slowly learning that my sweet little Adalei is going to be stubborn like her mommy and want to do things HER way. Agh, genetics...I LOVE IT!

update

2009-12-06T13:28:00.000-08:00

So I was told by my friend Natasha on our walk today that I needed to update my blog :-) And she's probably right.

For all those of you who are curious--NO BABY YET! I thought she was coming this morning, but contractions are still holding steady at 10 minutes apart. I remember going through this with Layla...seemed like 24 hours straight of contractions that wouldn't get any closer than 10 minutes apart! Sheesh!

Which, I guess we are very fortunate that today--or at least this morning/afternoon is not the time. Layla has been out of sorts today--bless her little heart. She's been so weepy--Neil accused her of crying like a 13 year old girl--100% dramatic with no clue as to what starts the seemingly endless flow of tears. Poor thing...she's been quite needy for her mommy and I've been so happy to carry her around the house because I know that her time of being my one and only baby is almost up...okay, now I'm going to start crying! Neil has his hands FULL today :-)

SO, if any of you guys feel led, please say a little prayer for Layla...I'm hoping that her little sister waits until tomorrow so that we can have a fresh start and hopefully a better day!

I'll keep ya'll posted :-) I hope.

Still hanging in there

2009-11-23T05:04:00.000-08:00

So, no baby yet :-) I seriously believe that those peeps at the doctor's office were WAY wrong in moving my due date from Dec 2nd to November 20th. I just don't feel anything...but we'll see.

Just a quick little top three that I'd like to share with all my pregnant and non-pregnant buddies out there...top three things mommies to be DO NOT want to hear once we reach the 35 week mark...ready? Okay.

(1) You're still here?

(2) When are you going to have that baby?

(3) My gosh, you look like you're ready to pop (thankfully--haven't ever had this said to me, but it just sounds harsh)

I think the most common thing I hear is the first..."you're still here???" UGH...isn't there an obvious answer to that question? The lady at my local grocery store asks me that EVERY TIME I go in--so I've started going when she's not working and I've even avoided that store because its so annoying. I mean, how many times can I gracefully say, "yep, still here--guess the little one isn't ready to meet us just yet".

Whew. Okay. I feel better now :-) Feel free to add to my list, should you feel like venting just a little. I think there is just something about being pregnant that makes us targets for TONS of unsolicited advice and random tummy rubs from people.

You guys have a great rainy Monday...I'm off to do everything they say do to bring on labor. Clearly running does not help. Hot chili sauce and eggs for breakfast?? Yummy :-)

Preggo Pictures--Doctor's Appointment and Hot Pics

2009-11-11T17:46:00.000-08:00

WELL, dad and I finally made a point of doing a maternity session :-) Bless his heart, he had his work cut out for him--I didn't want to do the cheesy smiling at my belly pictures so most of them were kind of pensive--but my pensive face doesn't lend itself to photography. Dad wore himself OUT telling me to stop scowling...combine that with my not-so-huge belly and it was an interesting afternoon. Dad did great...I'm always so proud and blown away every time I have the opportunity to watch him behind the camera.

SO...this is one that dad shot in film with his new lens...would you believe this had NO photoshop done to it...he's pretty incredible, that dad of mine :-) Its not on his blog/website so I thought I'd add it here because

wow...FILM is so beautiful.

SO stop by their blog to see the pictures and his sweet little write up--it just makes my heart swell when I think of how blessed I am to be loved by my daddy SO much--and he just makes me so darn proud to be his little girl! Okay...enough of that or I'm going to become a teary eyed pregnant woman which isn't pretty :-) Here's the url...check it out when you can and enjoy...

www.autumnsongphotography.com

SO..

I had my 38 week appointment today...WOW its going by so so so fast! I thought I would go early, but now I'm wondering. I've read a lot of new medical studies that have come out over the past several months regarding pregnant women who exercise strenuously during each trimester. Oddly enough, because a body is so good at adapting to demands, pregnant women who exercise, in particular run, are far less likely to deliver a pre-term baby...who'd a thunk? Not me.

Anyway--like most of my pregnant buddies, my belly measured small today--34 cm instead of 38. So the doctor wanted me to have another ultrasound--SWEET! I knew (and he did too) that everything was fine--it was just a precautionary measure. He said he thought it was because Adalei has dropped and because I just carry small babies (thank you Lord for that blessing)...but its standard procedure to recommend an ultrasound and most mommies don't mind. SO I scheduled it for later in the afternoon so that my hubby could come too...and boy were we given a treat...

The sonographer was so sweet--she spent lots of time showing us everything from her brain to her kidneys and even her little lungs practicing for the big day--and her feet, lodged up in my rib cage. Best of all, she treated us to a 4D or 3D--not really sure--ultrasound. It was INCREDIBLE!

Here are some pictures from the ultrasound. They make me CRAZY wanting to hurry up and hold her and kiss that sweet little mouth. I almost melted when I saw it...GAH baby mouths are so flipping sweet! ANYWAY...here she is in all her smushed up beauty. Poor thing is so low that it was very hard to get a good picture without something being in the way--namely my bladder and her hand.

Look at her sweet little mouth..her eyes are covered by a shadow, but the lower right side is her little nose and her mouth...yeah, I'm definitely going to drive her CRAZY kissing that little mouth!

Dancing Queen

2009-10-27T03:49:00.000-07:00

This was too good to pass up :-) Layla's newest dance moves are quite comical--they almost resemble the moves of the 50+ year old women (who've enjoyed a little TOO much wine) on the dance floor at a wedding...HA!

Somehow my little red head manages to brighten up EVERY day...she makes me look forward to having (God willing) a house full of special little personalities one day! And moments like this (among the million other little moments) make my job satisfaction level skyrocket...ahh the joys of being a mommy at home with her little ones!

PS-You are getting a sneak preview of her Fancy Nancy Halloween costume...this was take after a trip to Walmart for more "fancy ribbons"...you can tell she REALLY needed more fancy ribbon :-)

33 Weeks...

2009-10-15T03:06:00.000-07:00

Well...doctor's appointment went well yesterday. Adalei was moving like crazy (which isn't odd for her)--even managing to cause some surprise with the doctor at how well he could feel her shoulders through my belly.

I found out the the little internal "pinch" that I feel only when I'm running or cleaning house is really just a frustrated little baby girl pushing down on my bladder. The doc said it may cause some incontinence (such a nice way to put "pee your pants")....I laughed and told him it was something I'm not really a stranger to (see post on doing speedwork pre-pregnancy). He didn't see the humor so much. UNCOMFORTABLE. Layla was with me and asked me a million questions about--"inconstanance" (ha) to which I just responded that sometimes mommies need diapers too. At least I got a laugh out of her. As a side note, I can no longer bring Layla with me to appointments. Two weeks ago, the OB that I go to had FOUR moms show up with sick toddlers...sick like flu sick! Incredible. In an OB of all places!

ANYWAY...

Weight gain is good....looking very similar to how I did with Layla--probably will gain the same amount of weight as I did with her. The doctor I saw yesterday seems to think that there is no reason why Adalei will not be around the same birth weight as Layla was (6 lb 8oz), which he said would make for a rather easy and speedy delivery--SWEET! My belly is actually measuring the same at this point as it did with Layla--30 cm--so that was the best indication of Adalei's size.

He read my charts with Layla and was really surprised that I only pushed 4 times and didn't tear. I told him God made me especially for having babies and that I intended to fulfill my purpose and have LOTS (again--although I kind of thought I was being cute...no sign of humor in the ol' doc). All that being said, he seems to think I'll have no problems with labor this time around and will be fine to do it without any medication--unless Adalei is coming out in some weird position or if something happens to cause them to have to do a c-section.

SO...all was good. Layla enjoyed the visit--and got a cupcake from Whole Foods out of it. DUDE, the looks I got strolling through Whole Foods at 10am while my little redhead ate a mini cupcake (chocolate of all things) was PRICELESS! No, it wasn't granola or fruit, but she's well worth a mini cupcake for morning snack every now and then....and yes, we were both wearing leather shoes and YES...I threw my trash in the landfill trash bin by accident. Obviously, I do NOT belong in the aisles of Whole Foods :-)

updates...

2009-10-07T11:32:00.000-07:00

SO...guys...WOW has the past few days been amazing or what?!

Yesterday we went live with the website for Run 4 Revolution--and the response was incredible! Within hours, we had EIGHT new runners on the team, two nice BIG donations and countless requests to be added to the mailing list! I guess for me, the incredible part was seeing God work in such a GIANT way. I can honestly say that I have never felt such a unique sense of joy in all my life...in fact, for a while today I was wondering what exactly it was that I was feeling. I think it must be a very nice combination of being humbled, blessed and overjoyed by what God has already done in just 24 hours with Run 4 Revolution.

If you haven't done so yet...stop by the website and sign up for the mailing list...I probably will not be posting anymore about R4R here as the website sort of serves as a blog as well.

In other news...

I am just now getting into my 32 week of pregnancy! WOW it has gone by so fast. I'm blessed by being able to get out and run, but I am opting to run in the early AM before it gets light out so as to avoid the crazy looks I get from fellow Lexingtonians :-) So I'm still doing between 5-7 miles each day and my long run is around 8.5 on Fridays.

Dad is going to be doing my "maternity session" next week and I am so excited about the fun pictures we are going to be taking....I can't wait to post them. I went ahead and had him take a picture the other day for my baby shower on Sunday and here's what he came up with...I think its perfect! I wanted to have something that everyone could sign to go in Adalei's little room. I think she'll like this :-)

I think that's it, for now....I need to post some video of Layla...she's getting funnier by the day and has become quite the chatter box. Looks like mommy needs to get the Flip camera out :-)

Run 4 Revolution

2009-09-29T18:00:00.001-07:00

Glad I caught your attention with the title :-)

So what is a revolution....

Derived from the Latin word "revolutio", revolution means "a turn around". I like that. And you all know I love running. What most of you may not know about me is that I have had this ache in my heart, for YEARS, for those sweet little innocent children (over a million of them) all over the world who fall victim to sex trafficking--children who are ripped from their homes and sold into forced prostitution, some as young as 4!

Without getting into to much of a back story, one of my great friends (who many of you know), Lindy Thompson, contacted me several weeks ago regarding a burden that had been on her heart. She wanted to find a way to combine running (a passion of hers) and her desire to help the the millions of children that I mentioned above. And wow...after a few emails--okay so close to 100 (some long...some very short---she's a missionary in Kenya so I've found that African Internet requires A LOT of patience) Run 4 Revolution was born. Oddly enough, we both have been reading some of the same books and have had something stirred in us to actively support ONE specific organization that addresses human trafficking like no other organization we've found. Who would have thought! Its like the perfect storm of "passions" really!

SO, Lindy and I are starting what we hope will be a monster of an organization that works like a worldwide track club where members sign up to run races and raise money for the International Justice Mission's effort with human trafficking under the banner of Run 4 Revolution. If you have not heard of the International Justice Mission, please take some time to check them out. If you haven't met my dear friend Lindy...please check out her blog here.

Adalei and I will be running the Ardmore 5K in Winston Salem on October 17th to raise money---wanna contribute to Run 4 Revolution's efforts even if you can't run....leave me a comment expressing your interest and I'll get you details on how to contribute to one of the best causes I know....seeking justice for children sold into forced prostitution.

I hope you all can tell I am beside myself with excitement. I can't wait to see how God uses this...I will be sure to let you all know once the website if up and running. Lindy and I just couldn't keep it to ourselves any longer!

In the meantime, some other ways you can help...

~Educate yourselves on human trafficking

~Read books on human trafficking. I recommend "Terrify No More" by Gary Haugen

~Pray about joining R4R- EMAIL US if you would like to learn how to get started or get involved.

~Help us get the word out

~Tell your friends who run or want to get started

~Most importantly, start running/walking several minutes a day. Use that time to focus on praying for these victims (I LOVE this one)

~And stay tuned as the next few posts reveal more about how you can help

nonsense...

2009-09-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

Neil is in Savannah this weekend, leaving us girls here to fend for ourselves. I normally get really excited about having the house all to myself for a day or two--turning the baby monitor up as loud as it can go (I like to know I can hear Layla from anywhere in the house---still a little neurotic, I guess), sleeping in my full flannel PJs, watching the latest and greatest smut on TV without having to share, and reading books in bed until late. BUT, this time is different. I miss him already and he's only been gone for three hours. Heck, I missed him before he walked out of the door this morning. I miss him in the pit of my stomach--like someone just told me I'd have to live on rice cakes until Sunday. I guess missing is a good thing...I know how excited I'll be when Sunday rolls around.

So Layla, Adalei and I are off to my mom and dad's for the night...which should be fun as long as Layla goes to sleep at a decent time :-) Its been a long time since I've had the pleasure of crashing at their house for the night--probably since the last time Neil went to Nashville. So this will be fun. Fixing dinner with mom....movie night on the couch with dad, popcorn and peanut butter crackers and the COLDEST Pepsis in Thomasville. YIPEE!

LAYLA AN...

She's getting funnier by the day. She's become quite adept at stalling tactics and is constantly picking up something new. Her latest thing....she wants to "shoot the breeze" about EVERYTHING. She even interrupts prayer time for clarification on where each person mentioned sleeps and whether or not they sleep in a crib or a big girl/boy bed. It literally takes us a good 10-15 minutes to get through one night-night prayer. I inevitably leave something or someone out and at Layla's request, have to start over. Nice! She's started saying most of the prayer by herself but then asks that I chime in somewhere in the middle because she "forgets". Obviously, I don't do a great job at remembering either :-)

She's learned how to spell her name, she learned her address (even the city she lives in), and we are working on writing letters. Yesterday she wrote "Ls" and Ms" all day, but I've got to get started on a preschool type letter book. Any recommendations would be appreciated. Her daddy has successfully taught her that Glen Beck is a very smart man :-) She watches "dat man" with daddy in the evenings while I'm getting dinner ready. It is so darn cute to see the two of them snuggled on the couch watching the news. Her attention span is rather short for grown up talk, so she often interrupts with a request to draw or cut paper and Neil obliges--turning the TV off. I'm a lucky girl--I have a really great husband (who still, by the way, insists that I am "hot as fire" even with my belly...yeah, I definitely got more than I deserved when I married him).

Nothing new with baby Adalei...still kicking like crazy--really crazy....she's much stronger than Layla was at this time...UGH OH...I don't know what that means?? She's seems kind of funny about being disturbed....like she really kicks back if Layla starts pressing on my tummy or if I'm doing something that scrunches her up :-) hummmmm?

Thanks for taking the time to read my nonsense. I should be posting something REALLY great coming up...starting something new with a friend that is really starting to allow me to work with two big passions of mine...YAY...can't wait to share with you all!

You're reward for sticking with me...a picture of Layla...I know, you're welcome :-)

decision time

2009-09-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

SO, I have talked it over with Neil--at great length--and we've decided that if all goes well (meaning Adalei isn't breached or there aren't any uncontrollable circumstances that would require a c-section) I will deliver without an epidural. There. Its out. Now I'm committed for sure :-)

As funny as it sounds, one of the BIG things that I missed shortly after Layla was born was the labor and delivery process. I LOVED being in labor with her (perhaps there's something to that and my love of long distance running). So I knew that I wanted to experience the miracle of childbirth in its entirety--pain and all--but I wasn't so sure about Neil. I can imagine how difficult it must be for a husband to watch his wife in pain and not have the ability to take it away or make her feel better. But, after a lot of research and knowing that my low blood pressure may create a problem with the epidural, we decided to go for it. AND I CAN'T WAIT!

Hopefully I can use this blog to keep up with the things that I'm learning...both before, during and after birth. I hope to keep track of how I do during the whole process, along with Adalei, Neil and the doctors. It will be interesting trying to do natural childbirth in a hospital setting. I know with Layla I didn't really do a birth plan because they seemed so silly to me, but I'm thinking this time I will do a really flexible, tiny little birth plan--so I'll make sure to post that too.

I'm looking forward to this, guys...looking forward to learning some new things and experience life in a way that God reserved just for me...

Air poops--and belly pictures

2009-09-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, so two COMPLETELY unrelated items...but I had to share this story about "air poop".

SO...sweet little Layla had WAY too much fiber yesterday between the oatmeal for breakfast and apple for afternoon snack. She was much too busy to try and potty--so the result was a gasy little Layla. Last night as she was jumping on our bed and enjoying a nice game of tickle monster, she proceeded to let out at LEAST 4-5 stinky air bubbles from her tummy. Layla calls them "air poops", which I'll give her this---it makes a ton of sense. Anyway--I couldn't help but laugh and ask her where she got all that air in her tummy. She looked at Neil and I very matter-of-fact and said, "I filled up at the gas station." I laughed harder at her than I have in a long time--tears streaming down my cheeks and everything. She was so quick on her feet with that one--gas in her belly must come from a gas station, right?

HA!

Okay...and finally---here's a picture of little Adalei--I'll be 28 weeks tomorrow--only 12 more weeks to go! Boy, this pregnancy has gone by WAY too fast. Neil suggested taking the front view because he insists that my belly looks bigger from the front--HA and I took it as a huge compliment :-) The funniest thing is that you can see how Adalei is all the way on my left side (the right side of the picture). For some reason, she seems to spend most of her time on that side, even though I encourage her to move a little--because it feels WAY strange to have all of her knotted up on one side....

still here....

2009-09-05T10:15:00.001-07:00

So I'm sitting here just tap tap tapping on the keyboard. I know I have something on my mind...just nothing seems really noteworthy. I've been taking mental inventory of what's been going on each morning while I run HOPING that something would jump out and be blog worthy...but sorry folks...there's nothing.

Layla is continuing to put me in stitches with her antics and make me proud of her for the way she's growing up. Neil is finally experiencing what its really like to father a daughter (or at least for now...not sure what middle and high school will hold). Layla has started crying for random reasons--mostly because she just feels a little "off". I can empathize, but poor Neil isn't so privy to the spectrum of female emotions. I finally developed a new house rule (for my sake and Neil's) that only one member of the Broere household is allowed to be whiny/grumpy at a time. I'm thinking of further limiting it by developing a "whine" pass that can only be used once a week and when necessary. Once the "whine" pass has been used, it will be locked away until the next week. Should a member of the family whine without the pass, they will not receive even the smallest amount of sympathy :-) HA...okay so maybe that's taking it a little too far. Can I just say that I really REALLY have a hard time mustering up any sympathy for whininess...I just can't take it--but I'm trying.

Baby Adalei is doing great...she starting to have those really BIG movements where my entire tummy shifts. The other morning at around 3:45 I had to get up with Layla and Adalei decided she'd join the party--much to Layla excitement. After I put Layla back in her bed, I laid down only to experience Adalei stretching out length way in my stomach. I looked down to see my tummy resembling a pancake...strange. And, she had her first set of hiccups the other week---adorably annoying when it happens a 4am :-) I had to fight off giggling for fear of waking up Neil, but it was just so darn cute (for about 5 minutes). She's started reacting to Neil's voice and his hand on my tummy--and I think she really enjoys hearing Layla giggle and talk (that seems to be when she gets REALLY active). I'm seriously considering/almost decided to have a natural childbirth with little Adalei--just to get the full experience of labor and what God created my body to do. I'll keep ya'll posted on that.

Running is still going great...I've yet to cut back on it, but it'll come. I'm still feeling really great--except for those 10 minutes when my alarm first sounds that I have that mental battle to be lazy. A little old lady at the track by my house (the same one I've seen walking there for the past year) informed me just the other day that I, "really shouldn't be doing what you are doing". Interesting. I briefly entertained the idea of stopping to introduce myself and argue my point, but decided it was a lost cause AND that her intentions were probably good--misguided, inappropriate, but good :-)

All in all--its been a great couple of weeks. Neil still hasn't started on the kitchen...and I've stopped holding my breath for new counter tops....maybe for my anniversary next year :-) Layla is doing great--and so is Baby Adalei. Whew. Done...and you guys know that we are still alive and well over here.

OH-and I'll update this with a new belly picture as soon as Neil gets in.

Kitchen and baby update

2009-08-18T10:36:00.000-07:00

WELL...

We have officially put off doing the kitchen until after the baby....YAY! I feel like I can breathe a little easier now. We're moving our new cabinets and appliances to my aunt's basement (thanks a BILLION times Aunt Sharon) and Neil is going to refinish our existing cabinets and do some cement counter tops (which I am REALLY excited about). You know me...I am not one that likes a lot of different variables and I'm not one to like things that do not move in a somewhat organized flow--so Neil and I decided that this would not be a good time to renovate an old kitchen. WHEW!

I had my 25 week check up today...little Adalei is doing great. Today was the first time I was able to see the doctor that delivered Layla and he is such a riot. He came into the delivery room with Layla looking like they just pulled him out of bed and talking in incomplete sentences. I thought it was the early hour, but today...better hair, but still some crazy mixed up sentences. The good thing--he is a runner....and avid one at that. He is running the Marine Corps Marathon in the fall and has plans to qualify for Boston. SO I was really able to talk to another runner and doctor about my runs.

When I told him I was still doing 12 mile runs, his eyes told me what I dreaded hearing...TOO MUCH running. Well, he wouldn't tell me NOT to run that much, but he did say that I have to be really careful because over the next month, little Adalei's blood flow needs will double (and my ability to supply those needs won't change that much). SO, because running requires more demand for blood flow to my body and hers--and her demands will be greater even when I'm not running...I will have to back off to about 8 mile long runs. He joked that he would make out a written doctor's note if I needed it--to make me feel better. HA! He is a runner, indeed.

SO, I think I'm going to try and squeeze in another 12-13 mile run and be a good listener and scale it back to 8 miles. I've already thought, "hum, well if I'm just doing 8, then I can do some speed work and make them 8 faster miles"....I AM SO STUBBORN--one of the many many areas in my life that I have been focusing on and praying about for months. I'm getting better with my hubby, but I have a long way to go in other areas :-)

OH and baby name is officially....

Adalei (pronounced AdaLAY) Grace Broere the first :-)

I think she'll like it...

Extreme home makeover--kitchen edition

2009-08-15T02:36:00.001-07:00

Dad and I finished another 13 mile run last night. It was a nice night for venting our political frustrations--well mostly dad because it was all I could do sometimes to squeeze out an "uh huh". We ran fast last night....8:08 minute miles (yes dad, I was so curious that I calculated it on runnersworld.com when I got in last night). It was the first run thus far where, by the 12th mile, I could really feel the weight of this belly. I'm guessing my abdominal muscles just got tired on me...that's all I can figure. It was the most strange feeling. I wasn't sure if I was going to wet myself or tip over face first...hahahaha. Looks like I'm going to be investing in a belly band--especially for those long runs.

Little Adalei is still enjoying them, as far as I can tell. She lets me know she had fun by kicking me for the entire night following those long runs. Seriously--dad and I finish up around 10:30 pm and she doesn't stop until around 2am.

SO-big week at the Broere house....

Neil is getting started on the kitchen--finally. I'm not a nagger...never have been, but I have been biting my tongue for about 2 weeks regarding that kitchen. You see, the new cabinets and appliances that are going into the kitchen are currently housed in our old bedroom (interesting) because I didn't want to spend money on storage and Neil and I have been up in the spare bedroom (which will now belong to Adalei) for months. In order to get Layla to a big girl bed, because we need her crib for Adalei, I have to get our bed back downstairs, the crib in Adalei's room and all of Layla's new furniture moved into her room. Its like Chinese checkers over here, guys. AND Layla is dying for us to paint her room pink and purple. So, I picked out a lovely shade of Sassy Lilac for her new "big girl" room and am going to suck it up and look for pink accessories. Can you tell that I LOATHE pink...LOATHE it. Mom says I loved it when I was Layla's age--must have been an awkward age for me or something? :-) Anyway, thank God for a capable husband and a willing family. We are truly blessed to have so many family members and friends asking to help out.

So for the next week, we'll be loitering at my parents while Neil does the demo on the current kitchen. I'm praying that all goes as planned and there are not major bumps in the road. But, with a sweet little house that celebrated its 75th birthday this year, I'm thinking its not going to be easy. Even installing new toilets has proved challenging for my o-so-talented husband. I guess that's what happens when rooms aren't quite square.

AND, my classes start back this week. I'm having a hard time getting geared up for teaching government this semester. I can't tell if its that I have other, more interesting things on my plate or if its the knowledge that its going to be AWEFUL difficult to hold back on my opinions this semester. Time will tell, I guess.

Oh yes and update on Layla--

After a hard couple of needy days at the beach, I think she is finally getting back to her normal self. She played upstairs in her room yesterday for about 20-30 minutes without me--I consider that a success after the last 2-3 weeks. She even went down for bed last night without begging for my presence via "one more hug" and "one more kiss"--"mommy, I need YOU...I need YOU right now". I was very proud of her...and happy my heart wasn't being yanked in a different direction than my head. We'll see what today holds--I'm praying for more moves in the positive direction :-)

What happened to Ms. Independent

2009-08-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

LAYLA:

She is communicating so well now...I am constantly surprised by what comes out of that little mouth and enjoy a pretty good laugh on a daily basis as well.

She's been going through a really strange stage lately that I think is pretty normal but it tears me apart. She's always been SUPER independent and has never been one who required a ton of my attention. Lately though, she's been stitched to my side (which I kind of enjoy right now). She cries when I leave and when I'm not here if she happens to wake up before I get back from a morning run. She wants me with her in gymnastics--even though she doesn't pay me any attention.

What I really think is happening is this: I feel like at this age, she has started to experience some real independence with the potty and with doing things (like gymnastics) on her own without my help and without me around. And while she loves being independent, I think it is a little overwhelming for her and probably a little scary. In my mind, I'm comparing it to when I left for college and how I wanted so badly to be back at home for the first couple months.

Fortunately since she's our only one right now, I'm able to arrange my schedule so that I minimize my time away from her and make sure that I'm here when she wakes up. I'm also learning a lot in toddler gymnastics, like how to walk like a crab and do a proper front roll. I hope I'm not making her rotten, but I really feel like this is a temporary stage where she needs me to be predictable and she needs me to be present and more importantly she needs me to encourage her to do things on her own. We are now on week 2, so we'll see how temporary this is :-) I may be soliciting help with a rotten child in a few months...

BABY:

She's growing and moving like crazy. In fact, she wakes me every morning at 5:15 for our morning run with some very strong kicks to my ribs. Its funny--the other day I was determined to sleep in and run in the afternoon but baby girl was so persistent that I crawled out of bed and answered her call to go out for run. I think it must rock her to sleep or something, because I swear she's addicted to it. I think the first thing I'll buy her is a sleek pair of running shoes :-)

RUNNING:

I almost gave it up last week due to some CRAZY round ligament pain. Its getting incredibly taxing to even finish a 7 mile run. I feel heavy and lethargic until about the 6-7th mile. Which makes 5 mile runs sort of hard, but strangely enough 8+ mile runs easier. I am starting to feel the weight of my belly when I run and am going to look into a running skirt with some support. I'm hoping to maintain my 12 mile long runs for a least another month or two before I start cutting it back to 8 or 9 mile long runs. I'm hanging on ad hard as I can...and trying to prepare myself for the time when I discover that I have to do more walking than running. Hopefully that won't happen until my 8th month :-)

Finally, Neil and I have started making a point of doing devotions together each morning and we are learning so much about God and about each other. I can't wait to fill you all in on the things that God is doing in our lives, but for now it'll have to wait...I heard my laundry buzzer go off 10 minutes ago and if I don't hop to it, I'm going to have a nice little pile of ironing to do.

sugar, spice and everything muddy

2009-07-28T10:02:00.000-07:00

So....no belly pictures, but this little video clip will do. As a little side note, Neil and I just bought a Flip Video camera...sort of looks like an iPod...and WE LOVE IT. Its portable and easy and could quickly take the place of all of our still photos. And best of all, its Mac compatible (whew). Who knew it would be so hard to find a video making device that was Mac compatible!

This little ditty was taken at 21 weeks--OVER HALF WAY THROUGH the pregnancy (OKAY-you are going to have to go to YouTube to see me...this blog template cut off part of the video). I feel like I have---ehhheemm Neil has--so much more to do before baby girl gets here :-) This is Layla's favorite place on Earth. The funny thing is that she has no desire to look at or eat the candy, its mostly about all the stuffed animals. You can see from the video that she makes a bee line straight past the lollipops, bubble gum and chocolates (unlike her mommy) for the teddy bears and pink poodles :-)

Finally, this little clip is my new favorite. Make sure you notice Layla little hands. She was playing in the mud--while wearing a little girlie pink outfit. In this clip, she was helping daddy put together our new porch fans. She put together her outfit--complete with camo hat and pencil--so that she could be just like her daddy.

Just say NO

2009-07-27T03:39:00.001-07:00

Hey guys...I'm sorry for being MIA for a while. I've started running in the mornings--and Layla has started waking up earlier so all of my blogging time is GONE! I could probably squeeze something out at night...but I get REALLY lazy once Layla is down for bed and my cup of ice cream starts calling my name.

Speaking of running...its still going great. I'm starting to slow down a little and my muscles are starting to ache after longer runs. I guess its the shift in my center of gravity that is putting strain on some random muscles--which makes for a great workout. My 20 week check up was great...and the doctor said everything was super with the ultrasound. I'll try to get a tummy picture up soon because guys...ITS FINALLY GROWING like whoa. YAY!

And Layla...sweet little Layla. I'm sure you other parents out there can understand this predicament--Neil and I are having to really discipline her over something she picked up from a neighbor's child (who, by the way, disrespected both parents and wasn't corrected..YIKES). Our sweet little Layla has started saying "NO"--I should say yelling "NO" at both the most random and well placed times. Yesterday she woke up during the middle of her nap...sat up in bed...yelled "NO" and then went back to sleep. BUT, I think we are making progress. The last few times she yelled it at her stuffed animal friends--she ran to me, buried her head in my shoulder and cried--without me saying a word. So hopefully what comes next is her learning some self restraint with that word and learning how to say "no" appropriately. That's a hard one, guys...most adults don't learn how to speak politely and that sometimes you have to do things you'd rather not. AYE AYE AYE....I love this age--its challenge.

I hate to finish this up early, but I'm heading out the door to get a little 7 mile run in with my dad--its his birthday fun run :-) So stop by his website and wish him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY...he'd love it.

its a

2009-07-16T03:51:00.000-07:00

Most of you have probably already heard by now...

But I wanted to make sure I shared it here too...................

Neil and I are being blessed with another little girl. We are thrilled beyond belief. We would have been happy either way, but I think deep inside we wanted another little girl. And I think we've got her name picked out :-) But I should probably keep it a secret for just a little while longer until I get a firm "yes" from the hubby (even though he's already calling her by name).

More important than the gender, she looks perfectly healthy. She has a strong and well developed heart and aorta (148 bps). The placenta looks great and her little cord is really thick and strong (must be all the dairy that I've been craving). All her organs are as they should be.

We saw her sucking her thumb (ADORABLE), resting her head in her hands (must have been thinking some deep thoughts), crossing her feet (just like her big sister) and hiding from us. I am so excited to see her personality because she already seems so different than little Layla.

And on that note...Here is clip Neil took of Layla at gymnastics on Tuesday. This is typical for her...she is super competitive and has a hard time waiting her turn. She's learning, but we think its hilarious to watch her in action--not waiting her turn. This clip is where she is learning to do seat drops...poor little girl in purple didn't even see the red blaze coming. And I swear Ms. Portia is a saint--the way she handles all those little girls...GEEZE, she is blessed with patience for sure.

Blue or pink

2009-07-13T17:36:00.000-07:00

Its been so long after a week's vacation at the beach and going on a blogging hiatus

HUM...

Oh--we find out what we are having on Wednesday! Neil and I are so excited we can hardly stand it. And the little one is moving like a crazy guy/girl. I don't remember Layla being this active so early on, but it could be a second pregnancy thing (or it could be there is a little more excitement around with a 2 year old to get the baby going crazy). Layla is convinced she's having a sister like Fancy Nancy, but we've prepared her for a super cool little brother too. I think I'll just be happy to see the baby again and know everything is okay.

I think this one is sitting really low too because I am already running to the bathroom CONSTANTLY. It gets interesting during long runs...lets just say I am very familiar with all the hiding spots along my and dad's route.

Layla is changing so much every day...she's just growing up too fast and is turning into quite the conversationalist. I am constantly surprised by the things she talks about. I have TONS of video from the beach that I'm going to try and put together to post really soon so that you guys can see her in action :-)

FINALLY...

Dad and I just got in from Georgetown this evening--super cool place, by the way. We had a meeting with a wedding planner and it went great (and I got to indulge in my latest craving for sushi--well for cucumber rolls because raw fish is a NO NO--but OH MY GOODNESS was I a happy camper or what). Exciting things around the corner for Black Daffodil and for Autumn Song...

So I think that's all for now.

I'll post on Wednesday and let you know what we find out (and hopefully I'll have some videos of Layla and the beach trip as well).

Any guesses on what it is....right now we've got a pretty even split among our friends.

Growing belly and my little star

2009-07-03T10:23:00.000-07:00

First, another belly picture. This one is at 19 weeks..almost half way to baby--its going by so quickly this time. I think I can be really proud of this one (the belly shot) and even more proud of the next one...its starting to grow grow grow!

Okay, so here is the video of Layla. She insisted on her tutu because the music video had ballerinas on it...and she tried her hardest to perfect their dancing. After about three dress rehearsals, she was ready to be filmed. Although you may start to find it kind of boring....wait until the end when she hits the high note. She told me afterwards that it was her FAVORITE part of the song.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star from Black Daffodil Films on Vimeo.

Past curfew

2009-07-02T04:20:00.000-07:00

First..

Belly pictures are coming as well as the video I promised...I just can't get my camera to download onto the computer (I dropped it on the hardwood floor a week ago and it just hasn't been the same).

But, I had to post this while it was on my mind.

Dad came over yesterday to see Layla for a little while. He's been on pins and needles to see her (even though he saw her on Monday) for the past two days and finally had a window of opportunity to get over here and see her yesterday afternoon. He played most of the afternoon with Layla and then it was time to head for home. As he was saying "bye" Layla begged to go with him and spend the night---this was the first time she's really really done that. I was kind of surprised, but after I got the green light from dad...I let her go. We packed all her night night stuff (bunnies, bears, pillow, sound machine) and she was off. I believe I heard her mention ice cream and a movie as they were driving off.

As dad's disappeared around the corner, Neil and I just kind of looked at each other, not knowing what to do with ourselves. We quickly decided on a bike ride and dinner at a restaurant uptown. It was strange not having Layla with us on our bike ride (she normally sings the ENTIRE time) and it was unusual having dinner with just Neil. Its been an embarrassingly long time since the two of us have had dinner together. We ate and talked...came home...took a little walk because we couldn't get enough of talking to each other...and then settled down on the couch to read a little before finding a movie.

I called my mom at around 8 to make sure everything was going well--she said they were having a ball...Layla was running around the yard naked and Dad was squirting her down with a water hose. They had two kinds of ice cream and a Barney (??) movie ready to go.

At 11pm, my phone rang. Dad was calling to say he was bringing Layla home. She had not yet fallen asleep...they weren't willing to let her cry (THANK GOODNESS)...and she asked to go back home. Dad said she thought she was done spending the night and was ready for something different.

Neil and I waited on the front porch....I looked over at him and told him that this better be the last time...for a VERY long time...that we were waiting past 11pm for Layla to get home. HA! And bless her heart, she was worn out. But she feel asleep talking about ice cream and Barney and begging to go back to Nana and Poppy's to spend the night again. Strange little thing.

So we'll see what today has in store...its 7:30 am and I already see her fuzzy little head sitting up in her bed ready to start the day....WHEW...gonna be a L-O-N-G morning. Perhaps I should just take her to Nana and Poppy's for ice cream.

Jesus and Walmart

2009-06-30T10:54:00.000-07:00

Is it just me...or are 2 1/2 year olds some of the funniest people on the planet? Layla has had me in stitches for the past week...mostly during prayer time.

On Sunday, Neil, Layla and me all went to church, as usual. That morning when I was talking to Layla about getting ready to go to Jesus' house, she informed me that the last week she ate way too many Nila wafers and that made her go "gak". I'm assuming it hurt her belly? I suggested that this Sunday she should only eat one or two and save her appetite for a yummy lunch.

SO, after church and lunch (where she informed me that she ate Cheerios for snack at Jesus house), we went upstairs to read some books and get ready for nap. While I was singing to her, she put her little hand over my mouth, telling me to "stop that noise" (I like to think of it as beautiful music...but whatever) because she needed to say a prayer. So I stopped and closed my eyes. This is how the prayer proceeded:

Mommy: Dear Lord, thank you for such a beautiful morning...thank you for the nice ladies at church who do such a great job with Layla

Layla: And Lord, I tink you need go to Walmart and get some more goldfish and Nila wafers...I not really like Cheerios.

Mommy: Yes Lord, please make a trip to Walmart

Layla: And you need to get a buggy for all those things too

Mommy: Yes, don't forget the buggy. Lord, please be with Layla while she rests. Help her to sleep good and wake up with lots of energy to go swimming.

Layla: And Lord, help that man...Michael...to rest...I need to sing with him and use his microphone at church.

Now, Michael is the preacher and I just want to note that for the past two bedtimes and THREE nap times, we have had to pray for Michael to get good rest. I have yet to figure that one out. And the whole bit about needing to go to Walmart....I almost lost it because her little face was so serious.

Finally...let me start by saying that Layla started using potty time as a stalling tactic for bed--she figured this out after only three days! SO-I have started taking her before we sing songs and put her down and make sure she knows that its the last time until morning. Yet, she still attempts to make another trip to the potty EVERY night and every afternoon before nap. Last night, Neil helped her on the potty, so I wasn't there to make certain she knew it was the last time for the night. SO, while I was singing, she asked over and over and over and over to use the potty. I told her "no" after the fifth time and that she wasn't to ask again. I told her she already went potty and she'd have to wait until morning. Shortly after, we began our night time prayers that went something like this:

Mommy: Dear Lord, thank you for such a great day. Thank you for daddy and how hard he worked today.

Layla: And Lord, help Layla...I really need pee pee on dat potty right now.

At this point I looked down at her and her little eyes were closed as tight as I've ever seen them. I whispered to her to walk to the door so we could go potty one more time (I felt TERRIBLE), but that its not right to tell stories (to which she said she loved telling stories, especially stories about The Very Hungry Caterpillar)---uh, lies to mommy about things like needing to potty. I explained to her the importance of being truthful. She nodded and said she really had to use the potty. So we went...and she was right.

Although the little prayer was kind of comical, I was really proud of her for talking to Jesus about it. Up until now, its been mostly a conversation to Jesus about her day and all the things she likes and doesn't like...so this was an interesting change of topic.

Last but not least..

I have more belly pictures that I'll post tomorrow along with Layla's dance to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" complete with pink tutu. The belly is really growing guys...I think I'm kinda proud of the latest little picture. I was hoping to have a BIG belly by the beach next week, but I'll just have to settle for a medium sized belly that still looks a little awkward :-)

The little guy/girl has been moving like crazy lately..mostly after 1opm--must be the ice cream I eat at 9 every night. Layla always got a little crazy after I'd eat ice cream too...

Pinkerbelle the Great

2009-06-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

Today we had our first experience with REAL LIFE pretend.

Let me start by saying Layla got a book at a birthday party as part of a book exchange. It didn't surprise me that she picked the book with a GIANT pink cupcake on the front...if you know her at all, you know that she LOVES cake...especially cupcakes and most especially pink ones with glittery frosting (I know...I'm still not sure where she gets it from) :-) ANYWAY, once we got home from the birthday party we had to read the book right away. I was surprised to see how much of a brat the main character was. Neil and I have had to change the words in the book to protect our sweet Layla just a little longer. Had I read the book before, I would not have let her take it home...its THAT bad. Just in case any of you moms out there want to know for reference, its called "Pinkalicous" and trust me...its awful--or was awful until we did some parental editing.

So today, while jumping on the trampoline, Layla decided she was no longer Layla Antoinette but was Pinkerbelle. In fact, she asked that I not call her anything but Pinkerbelle. I couldn't even call her sweetie or monkey or anything. Only Pinkerbelle. Then she insisted I take her swimsuit off because it was "green and Pinkerbelle is pink". So my little naked Pinkerbelle jumped on the trampoline until lunch. And before her nap, she wore nothing but a pink cape (blanket) around her room.

After her nap (which wasn't really a nap because she played the whole time), I thought the little game of pretend would be over. Not so soon. She woke up telling me she was a boy. She only wanted to do "boy things" at the park and wanted to be called, "just Boy" all night long. At the dinner table, she thought she could get away with bad manners by claiming she was Boy and boys stand in their seats and yell inside. Fortunately her daddy is a great example and we foiled her plan by letting her know that daddy was a boy and boys eat dinner just like daddy. When daddy left to smoke cigars with the boys tonight, Layla was somewhat mystified that she was not invited to the little soiree. She didn't let up ALL night. In fact, I had to refer to her as Boy during our prayers.

I hope tomorrow morning my sweet little Layla girl is back because Boy is WILD and Pinkerbelle is kind of demanding :-)

Baby belly and potty training (take 3)

2009-06-18T04:33:00.000-07:00

Okay...so this week, I finally committed to getting Layla potty trained. I firmly believe she was capable of being potty trained months ago, but she likes to do things on her terms (or at least I let her believe they are on her terms). So as you can imagine, potty training was a difficult task because I have to lead the way and encourage her to sit on the potty even when she'd rather not. But--we've had two days of success and no accidents...WHEW. She even made it though gymnastics on Tuesday with big girl undies on. I am so proud of her...I think she's proud too, even though she's asked me not to say "YAY" when she goes to the potty--so I do a silent "proud mommy" dance for her--which is quite amusing.

The funniest story yet....

Yesterday I took her to Whole Foods because Neil was sick and it is so difficult to get rest with a little one running around. So I had her sit on the potty twice before we left and right when we arrived at Whole Foods. She didn't go either time...so I'm starting to sweat it, thinking she's going to pee in the buggy at Whole Foods. She didn't. So we went again at Whole Foods before we left and no pee pee.

So, I loaded up the car and off we went. As soon as I got on the highway, she yelled out "Pee pee mommy". I made a quick exit and noticed a Hardee's right off the highway. Little did I know, it was the ghetto Hardees. The bathroom was clean by fast food joint standards, but it reeked of peach air fresheners and old cigarette smoke. When we entered the restroom, Layla looked at me and said, "ummmm mommy...it smells good in here...like some peaches". HA, my eternal little optimist. I wiped the potty down at least three times with a wipe covered in anti bacterial soap and popped her on top. We sat for about 10 minutes and no pee pee. Out to the car we went. As soon as she was buckled in her car seat, she told me she had to go potty again.

Sooooooooo

In we went...to the fabulous Hardees...this time for about 15 minutes and then SUCCESS. We both laughed like crazy...I laughed because I had never spent so much time in a public restroom and I guess she was laughing because I was laughing. All in all, I was so proud of her for telling me she needed to go potty and then actually doing it.

Fingers crossed that this attempt at potty training is a success :-)

Finally, as promised...a belly picture. Its somewhat disappointing, I know. I told Neil to make sure he was at an angle that made it look the biggest. I don't think you'd ever hear a female ask her husband to take a picture of her belly and try to make it look big. Oh well. We tried--I even arched my back a little. I guess this little one is going to be a tiny baby like Layla....I was really hoping for a big belly this time around...I still have five months to make it happen though :-) Bring on the milkshakes.

Layla thought it amusing that I was having a picture of my belly made, so she wanted in on the action.

UPDATE

2009-06-16T04:03:00.001-07:00

SO...

no leg cramps last night :-) YAY. I still woke up a dozen times or so trying to stretch and then reminding myself of my propensity toward leg cramps...I'll learn eventually.

Thanks Michelle..I think the potassium did the trick. Now if I can ONLY keep up with eating bananas and be more proactive than reactive.

Happy rainy Tuesday guys...I hope to have pictures of the Bean at gymnastics tonight and of my growing (yet still kind of embarrassingly wimpy) belly to post.

pain in the

2009-06-15T11:01:00.000-07:00

So since I became a "runner" a little over a year ago, there has been one little thing that has given me a TON of enjoyment....

After running pretty consistently for a couple of months and picking up my mileage, I began to really enjoy how nice it felt to stretch my legs in bed. I enjoyed it so much that I started having problems sleeping through the night because I'd wake myself up to stretch my legs (picture a cat stretching when it wakes up) every couple hours. Eventually the joy of it lessened enough for me to only wake up at 6am to stretch out...and boy was it amazing--still is--well, until THIS morning.

My center of gravity has shifted over the past couple of weeks...apparently it happens almost immediately after your first 12 weeks of pregnancy. I could tell my legs were tired at the end of any run that exceeded 5-6 miles. This was kind of strange, because even in the midst all my marathon training (including hill repeats and speed work), my legs were never really tired--or at least what I would consider tired. Sometimes they'd get a little sore and heavy after a 20+ mile run...but not the way they have been the past couple of weeks. THEN I read this nice little article about exercising (particularly running) while pregnant. APPARENTLY this little shift in my center of gravity has caused some random muscles to up their workload when I run...just to keep me from falling over (or forward). Who knew? I guess it explains way running is one of those sports where pregnancy makes you a better athlete.

ANYWAY, I say all that to say that I'm back to square one with stretching in bed...But last night it was much less enjoyable. Those of you who have been pregnant before know of those nice little calf cramps that kick in periodically during pregnancy. Starting at about 4am this morning (during my 3-4 stretch of the night) I felt a little pull in my calf and knew it was coming. I sat right up in bed beating the poo out of my leg until it went away. Whew...note to self, noooo moooorrrreee stretching in bed. Unfortunately, when I feel back asleep, I couldn't resist the urge and continued to wake myself up FOUR MORE TIMES. Needless to say, after my run this morning, my right calf felt like I had worked it out something fierce. When I got in from my run, I woke up Neil and apologized for being so crazy during the night. He didn't notice a thing :-) And he says he isn't a heavy sleeper!

I thought about taking a nap but am scared I'll try and stretch again...its pitiful really. I guess this will break my habit once and for all...we'll see.

As a side note, my hubby has started a new little venture...I say little, but its kind of a big deal :-)

He's in the final stages of starting his own micro-brewery, The White Star Beer Co. I'm pretty darn excited about the kegs of root beer and cream soda that they'll be making...but that's just me. ANYWAY, check out his website when you get the chance at:

www.whitestarbeer.com

...hopefully soon he'll be up and blogging. I'm trying to convince him to let the brewery's "web fans" vote on a name for one of the first beers because how cool would that be?

Mommy leftovers

2009-06-08T04:05:00.000-07:00

What a CRAZY weekend.

That wedding I filmed on Saturday was LONG. I left my house at around 3pm and didn't get back home until 2:15am. Whew...that's a lot of time to be on my feet. Originally (before traffic stopped the charter bus with ALL the guests for an hour) the reception was going to be over at 11:30. The closer it got to 11:30, mom, dad and I realized that THAT wasn't going to happen. They actually didn't do their exit until 10 minutes past 1am! I realized at that point that poor Neil AND Layla were going to be served "mommy leftovers" on Sunday morning.

But all in all, you couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day and for a sweeter family. I'm sending the film off for processing today and am going to be waiting on pins and needles for the next three weeks. I'm excited to see how the film is going to work with dad's stills. I feel like we worked really well together and communicated nicely. But getting film in is always a big surprise.

Finally, as promised, here is an attempt to get Layla singing "Jesus Loves Me. I'm still working on getting the WHOLE thing, but Layla is kind of or miss with the video camera. Sometimes she'll smile and sing like crazy...sometimes she'll run the other way. Maybe we'll try again today?

Jesus Loves Me from Black Daffodil Films on Vimeo.

everything about nothing, really

2009-06-03T12:26:00.000-07:00

Few things...

I just sold my first 8mm wedding package :-) Talk about an accomplishment. It feels really good. The bride and groom are from DC and the groom's grandfather worked for Kodak for 40 years. SO, he was really familiar with Super 8 film and seems super excited. For more of my thoughts on this, you can look at my other blog...my "business" blog ;)

Hummm so what else.

Layla is doing great...up to her same old things...last night after putting her down for bed, I realized that her window unit air conditioner (YES, our house was built in 1940 so even though we have central air, the upstairs gets HOT and her room needs a window thing) came unplugged. Because our house is so old, none of the outlets work like they are supposed to. There is apparently a certain "touch" to getting the plug back into the wall and making the air conditioner work. I found out that I do not have that touch.

SO as I'm struggling..UNDER her crib...to get the air on, I hear her little voice say, "peek a boo mommy...I see your bum". At that point, I should have giggled at myself and her, but I was way to focused on getting the air conditioner plugged in and getting downstairs to my OJ and club soda (new pregnancy favorite, which I will discuss in a minute). I told her to lay down, it was time for night night. So she obliged and went into her third verse of "Michael Row Your Boat Ashore". I guess I was making too much noise huffing and puffing because she stopped mid verse, looked over the edge of the crib and YELLED, "Hey mommy, what you doin' down there so loud". In other words, keep it down, I'm trying to get some sleep up here.

Needless to say, after 10 minutes, I called in daddy to fix it...Layla seemed relieved that help was on the way--help she could trust would get it taken care of. Daddy did, indeed...in only 30 seconds. Incredible.

Pregnancy...

WELL, running is going great. I'm still doing about 35 miles a week running and 7 or so walking. I've found that I can't think when I walk like I do when I run...so I tend to opt for a run over a walk and only walk on days that my friend Toddy comes over.

I'm finished with the yuck-o sickness, but still don't have much of an appetite--except for almonds, cottage cheese, yogurt, OJ and club soda, Total Bran Flakes, fruit and anything with tomatoes. I still don't really have an appetite for two of my pre-pregnancy favorites, ice cream and popcorn...but I've gotten my appetite back for graham crackers and peanut butter...YAY!

okay so I think that's all of my little "everything about nothing" post....

hopefully next week will be a little more eventful or I'll be feeling a little more inspired to blog.

2009-05-29T10:37:00.000-07:00

I should start by saying that I'm venting...a little...again. I typically don't find "venting" very becoming of me, but I just can't help it this time. I've sat on this for a couple of days because I just don't want to be obnoxious. But here goes...just in case there are others out there somewhere who are running while pregnant...

So I finished another 12 mile run strong today...I was doubting myself for the first four miles. I seriously thought of quitting and walking back to the car at least a dozen times. I even imagined myself stopping without warning to dad. But, I didn't...didn't even say a word. I have this crazy notion that once I verbalize something, then I'm as good as done. As long as I stay quiet, I'm good to go. We're keeping an average pace of about 8:30 per mile, which really REALLY makes me proud. So far, I've only gotten a few, unsolicited little tid bits of running advice from some very well-meaning people that really don't know much about running. I think I've actually been told that need to back off and slow down or else risk the big "m" (a word that was used quite liberally to me, but I refuse to say--because WHO really throws that word around to a mom-to-be). SO, for those well meaning but misinformed folks...HERE GOES:

The great news is that the baby is benefiting more than I even knew from all this running that I've done. The doctor commented on my "maternal heartbeat" at Wednesday's TWO HOUR appointment (I'm still a little sore about that...can't you tell). In fact, she said its really rare to hear such a strong maternal heartbeat...so much so that the nurse couldn't dodge my heartbeat and find the baby's...the doctor had to come in and find it. Apparently (according to the doctor), the baby reaps the benefit of his/her mom's heartbeat by a better oxygen/blood supply. The doctor also credited running with the baby's incredible fetal activity. Fetal activity is closely associated with increased blood supply from the placenta. We've got quite the little swimmer on our hands. So doctor's orders were to keep doing what I'm doing...

I think I'm just going to have to grow some tough skin because it probably won't get any better once I start showing. I can't wait to blog about the looks I get from people...this may get interesting.

FINALLY and totally unrelated, I am so excited to report that dad is letting me shoot his 35mm film camera tomorrow. Dad is really big on shooting deliberately (note: I didn't say conservatively because I feel those are two different things) rather than firing away with his camera and HOPING he gets the right shots. If you get the chance, ask him about it...he's pretty passionate about this little topic and I always love to hear what he has to say. One thing he feels pretty strongly about is that when one doesn't practice shooting deliberately, then you lose your ability to really SEE things. I love that my dad is patient...I'm always impressed that he is so precise. And I've never once seen him miss a shot.

SO I really take it as a HUGE compliment that he's trusting me to shoot some film....I can't wait to fill ya'll in on the results.

Speaking of which...dad got a Mamiya film camera and took some pictures of Layla with it the other day. Now I may be partial because (a) its my little one in the pictures and (b) I LOVE LOVE LOVE film...but this I thought these were some of the most beautiful pictures I've seen in a while.

2009-05-28T03:04:00.000-07:00

quick post..then I'm out for an early run with dad...

So I always---ALWAYS--walk into Layla's room and check on her before I go to bed each night. It used to be multiple times (I was terrified of her suffocating on her bumper pad for months) but now its just once--okay maybe twice :-) I love to stare at her sleeping.

ANYWAY, last night I walked in right after my bath, still wearing my towel. I heard her stir a little when I walked into the room, so I started to tip toe. You know how sometimes, even when its dark, you can tell someone is looking at you? Well, I felt her looking at me and I got a little weirded out for some reason. Then I saw her arm move a little so I quickly squatted down beside her bed where she couldn't see me if she woke up. Next thing I knew, a little fuzzy red head was looking down at me saying, "hey mommy...sing one more song?". SO...I picked her up as my towel hit the floor. So there we were...10:30 pm rocking and singing "Hush Little Baby"--me naked as can be. As I carried her back to the bed, she looked up and smiled and said, "I love you mommy" and then said, "need put your pjs on and go bed...in the BIG bed". She was so sweet....and not at all shocked by my craziness--she was just excited to see me for a few extra minutes.

So I went off to bed and within 5 minutes, Neil and I were serenaded to sleep by her singing "Jesus Loves Me" over the baby monitor. I think we all feel asleep to it. I have to record her singing that for you guys--she belts it out with her eyes closed...its adorable.

Finally...just to vent. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday--sat there for TWO HOURS and FIFTEEN MINUTES only to be (1) weighed (2) hear the heartbeat. It was worth it...but boy was I frustrated. I was patient and understanding for the first hour or so, but after that, I was done. I was SO done that I didn't even ask any questions or anything. TWO HOURS...for a 10 minute appointment. Crazy!

Feel that baby

2009-05-22T11:02:00.000-07:00

What you probably can tell is that I've been slack in my blogging lately...what you probably can't tell is that I've been slack in housework too. Its not really that nothing is getting done...it is..but it takes me FOREVER. I can't seem to finish tasks like I've always done. I get the floor swept, but not mopped and then by the time I remember to mop, I have to sweep again. Laundry...UGH..I get it washed and dried but not folded. So, my ironing pile is through the roof and staring at me every single night. I finally moved it into another room, hoping the wrinkles would just fall out and the clothes would put themselves up. It hasn't worked yet...but I'm expecting a surprise any day now.

I say all this to say that I believe that there must be a such think as pregnancy ADHD. I'm convinced, in fact. I have never lacked focus like I have over the past few weeks and its frustrating. I'm actually considering making a list and checking off things once I've completed them.

Switching gears...I was a little bored with the whole "ADHD" bit (HA)

Layla felt the little peanut move for the first time. Right now, its these random little bubbly feelings in my belly that I only feel when I sit quietly after being busy. The little one goes CRAZY after I run--I take it as a sign that he/she must really like the ride. But last night she was on my lap and felt my belly move. Her eyes got huge and she begged me to "see dat baby right now". So I laid down on the floor and she inspected my belly for signs of a baby. She looked in my belly button and became quite frustrated that she couldn't see it. I told her the baby was inside mommy's belly, so we couldn't see it for a while, but we can feel it, talk to it, sing to it and listen to it. SO, she put her ear to my belly and giggled like crazy when she heard the baby (shhh...really it was just my stomach digesting dinner...but I couldn't tell her that). She started kissing my belly and talking to the baby and THEN discovered she could do THIS:

Blowing the baby from Black Daffodil Films on Vimeo.

She's going to be so much fun with this new baby....I can tell already...

Boys do this

2009-05-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

So I feel like I have a ton of updates and stuff...my thoughts are kind of jumbled up. So stick with me...this may get confusing :-)

My latest cravings:

So I'm having the strangest cravings and inclinations. I am going crazy over spicy stuff and can barely stomach the thought of anything sweet. Neil and I had a date with some friends at PF Changs the other week...I could have licked the bowl of that Chinese spicy mustard. Seriously...somebody get me some wasabi or something. I way WAY more than sprinkled red pepper flakes on my bowl of soup yesterday...it was so hot I was sweating. It probably could have stood a little more heat though :-) I also covered a bowl of popcorn with black pepper last night and dipped a saltine in Frank's hot sauce. Strange. My friend, Toddy, told me I was probably having another red head...YAY.

Running while preggo:

I woke up early (like...5:30 am early) on Saturday morning to do a long run with dad. It was a beautiful morning...and I was so happy to be out. Its funny, now little 12 mile runs feel like such an accomplishment. Each time I complete a run, I wonder how much longer I'm going to be able to really enjoy it--and keep my pace up. I guess I'm just thankful each time I get a nice run in. I have yet to pee my pants (THANK GOODNESS)...and I'm pretty thankful for that too. Right now, my running milage is around 30-32 miles a week (a big change from 50+ miles a week). I'm kind of enjoying running for the fun of it.

My yard:

My oh my..I need to take some pictures. My mother has worked some magic in my formerly pitiful little yard. She surprised me the other day (a Mother's Day surprise) by planting a beautiful perennial bed. I'm so excited to see it grow (assuming I can remember to take care of all my little pretties).

My Layla An:

She gets funnier every single day. She has been really into learning her friends' "whole names". Her favorites are Natasha Bumgarner (must be all the syllables), Sharon Lambros, and Jerry Murdock. She also likes refer to herself as Layla Antoinette Broere. In fact, we had a conversation like this after he nap today:

Mommy: Boy, you are sweaty.

Layla: No mommy. I'm Layla Antoinette Broere. I not sweaty mommy. Mommy is Lindsey and Daddy is Neil. No sweaty mommy.

My bad...I had no idea that she had gotten so literal all of the sudden.

She was also playing pretty rough tonight. She has a little plastic ball...well a BIG plastic ball that is her new favorite toy. Tonight, she was running full speed at her ball and flipping over it. She looked over at me and said, "Mommy, I'm a boy. Boys do dis. Boys do tings like dis." I asked her what girls do, if boys play so wild. She grabbed her blankie, smiled a sweet little fake smile and BLINKED HER EYES. Where in the world is she getting this stuff? She doesn't watch TV except for an occasional Super Why episode (not because I am anti TV really..she just doesn't like it). Maybe its the Fancy Nancy book. I'm kind of glad she likes to play rough. I love that she adores purses and fancy dress up clothes...but will put her worms in her purse and sit in the dirt while wearing her cute little dress ups.

Okay...so I guess that's all for now. Thanks for hanging in there.

Coming to America

2009-05-08T03:31:00.000-07:00

Layla had her very first big overnight with my mom and dad the other night. This was the first time she's been away from home all night without Neil or me since she was about 6 months old. Needless to say, Neil and I were like kids in a candy shop while we were out to dinner. It was so strange to not be looking at our watches in a hurry to get home and relieve our parents. But, I have to say, I sure did miss going into her room and staring at her before I went to bed. I woke up at least a half a dozen times during the night startled because I couldn't hear the monitor. I love relaxing date nights with my husband...but I also LOVE having my baby at home. We both really missed her--and it was just one night. I still woke up at 6:30am and had to fight not to rush to mom and dad's to be there when she woke up.

Layla...on the other hand...was having the time of her life. She enjoyed a bath in mom and dad's BIG tub. In fact, mom said she barely made it through dinner for wanting to jump in the tub. She had special ice cream that, apparently, papa stirs JUST RIGHT so that its not too cold (she told me all about the technique yesterday). She watched "toons" before bedtime and played in my all of my mom's old jewelry. This is what greeted me yesterday when I opened an email from my dad...

Chris and Lindy....I think she's probably ready for that trip to see you guys. Do you think she'd be accepted with her crazy red hair and flair for fashion? All I could think of when I opened the attachment was that old Eddie Murphy movie, Coming to America. HA!

Whatever you want

2009-05-04T04:29:00.000-07:00

Mom and dad came over for dinner on Saturday night. They were keeping my nephew Bradyn for the night, and sort of...slightly...invited themselves over to have dinner and go to the park. I don't guess it qualifies as "inviting yourself over" when you bring the ENITRE meal. It was more like, "hey...let me come to your house...love on your baby AND then cook you dinner". It doesn't get any better than that--it was a real blessing. Dad and I ran 12 miles that morning...and I took Layla to a little spring festival shortly after I got back home from the run. Layla didn't take a nap that afternoon...so I was more than tired. Momma to the rescue. Mom and dad came over at around 5:00 with bags of groceries and Bradyn in tow.

Layla and Bradyn have FINALLY started playing so well together. There are about 2 1/2 years between them, so the first two years were sort of touch and go between the two of them. Layla is finally understanding that she can't knock down all of Bradyn's building blocks and Bradyn has started really wanting to take care of her. They actually do so much better when they're left alone to play. I was hoping they'd do good together Saturday night...but Layla was tired and grumpy...and Bradyn spent the majority of the afternoon at a birthday party. YIKES.

They were so happy to see each other. Everything was great until...you guess it...the dinner table. After taking Layla to another room and talking to her twice about table manners, we decided that we'd all be better off if we let her down from the table to go play. She was a little whiny as she walked around the table to Bradyn. The dialogue went something like this:

Bradyn: What's wrong with Layla?

Me: She's just a little grumpy.

Bradyn (to Layla): You tell me what you want, Layla, and I'll get it for you (in that kind of "my intention is to make you rotten" voice...the same I've heard their papa use--hummmm).

Layla: French fries with dip

Bradyn (picking the BEST and biggest one from his plate and dipping it): Here you go Layla.

Layla: Thank you (big smile).

I think my heart kind of melted :-) It is so funny and sweet at the same time to hear them communicating--like little adults or something?

Here's a picture of them sharing an ice cream sandwich prior to running around in the dirt at the park. Dirt + ice cream=dirty dirty dirty faces and hands...adorable ones, but dirty.

worth the wait

2009-05-03T12:03:00.001-07:00

Well guys...she's done! Check out my other blog. I'm just a little tiny bit excited about my new film :-)

Enjoy....

my kind of man....

2009-05-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

Layla has been working on her bottom two year molars this week--BOTH OF THEM. I'm not sure if I mentioned this in the past, but she is not a good "teeth cutter". She never has been. Early on, she'd wake up all hours of the night wanting to nurse. During the past year of cutting teeth, she gets a terrible cold and fever and it is nothing short of pitiful. She also has a very low threshold for any additional discomfort (ie-being told not to do something, smashing her finger in a book, stumping a toe on the carpet).

So, for the better part of the week, I've been putting out fires and carrying a very grumpy Layla up and down the steps...holding her while trying to get dinner fixed...kissing lots and LOTS of tiny but very painful little ouchies. Its great to be needed and wanted. But by yesterday afternoon, I was starting to catch the grumpiness. A lot of it is first trimester exhaustion--I was drained.

Enter....my sweet and perfect Neil...

The dinner table was a disaster from the start last night. Layla didn't want the red fork, she NEEDED the pink one. She then NEEDED her blankie. I told her she'd have to wait until after dinner so that her blankie wouldn't get dirty. She lost it...and begged to go upstairs--not alone--she needed mommy. This was only two bites into dinner. So I went with her upstairs while Neil sat at the table alone.

Pretty soon, I heard his footsteps on the stairs, looked around the corner and saw him carrying dinner up the steps to Layla's room. He sat her little art table...then told her he had something very "fancy" downstairs. He came back to the room carrying her little teapot filled with milk and a tea cup. This was the first time either of us have used her little teapot for its intended purpose. Layla got the biggest grin on her face as Neil referred to her as "Mademoiselle Broere" while he poured her tea.

I was shocked that he pulled something so magical off for her. And his rough hands (from doing all the woodworking and working outside) around that little teapot were the sweetest things I've seen in a very long time. Last night at the dinner table, he was our Prince Charming. I like a man who can fix a flat tire AND host such an enchanting tea party--he's just perfect :-) Layla ate all of her dinner and was both talkative and happy. Wonder if he has anything up his sleeve for our poor little patient at dinner tonight?

Mirror mirror

2009-04-29T04:52:00.000-07:00

SO...

Drum roll..........

Only one tiny baby with one VERY big heartbeat in my belly. I can hardly put words around being able to see his/her little heartbeat on the screen. You could see both chambers of the heart beating like crazy. It felt different this time than with Layla. I understand now how a parent loves their child...I had no idea when I was watching Layla on that screen three years ago.

I remember thinking this with Layla after that first 8 week visit....how--HOW could anyone ever do anything to harm that little baby...how could anyone argue that there's what I'm seeing on that screen is not a precious little life. I don't think I'll ever understand. What I do know..is that the sound of that little heart beating was the sweetest thing in the world.

Equally as sweet? Layla in the sonogram room. The lady printed out the pictures for us and Layla snatched up one. She started kissing that little picture and told me, "i yuv dis baby mommy". She has such a sweet little spirit...and is going to be the BEST big sister.

Really quickly before I go...

the afternoon after the doctor's visit, my dad called and said his/my running buddy, good friend and pilot was taking an old airplane up for a little while and wanted to know if Layla would like to go up in it. Its an old 1940s two seater plane that could probably land in the top of a tree and be fine.

So off we went. Layla was NOT a fan. I think it was too loud....at least that's what she told me when the plane landed. So for the past two nights and nap times, I've had to make up songs about the airplane--with her assistance. After the first line, she makes sure to interject "and Layla does not like dat airplane...NO WAY". Then I have to say, "because its too loud, its too loud....its way way way too loud". I think that's a chart topper right there guys!

So here's one picture from the flight. Obviously this is where she decides that she does not like the airplane. Dad got some much better pictures that I'll try and post soon--assuming he give me permission :-)

AND...

I have to leave you with this video from the other night. To say Layla loves talking to a mirror is an understatement. She has entire conversations with herself via the mirror. She finally discovered Neil's shaving mirror in the tub and was so excited. We missed taping the part where she was repeating, "fig newton"...but we caught her saying "Augie" and that was priceless. Augie is Neil's sister's boyfriend and Layla is smitten. Its obvious she loves saying his name.

Mirror talking from Black Daffodil Films on Vimeo.

tomorrow...

2009-04-26T12:10:00.000-07:00

I'm going to admit something...on the eve of our very first doctor's appointment. There is this tiny part of me that is going to be just a tiny TINY bit bummed if there's only one and not two heartbeats. And, I don't think its because I like a good challenge...I just think the awesome miracle of twins would be so amazing to witness first hand. I've always been so fascinated by twins and the bond that they have--even in the womb. I guess from watching my mom and my aunt (who are twins), friends of mine (who are twins) and YES...that little Discovery channel special on twins.....

Anyway...we'll see. I'm anxious see that little guy/girl on the big screen...

Oh and before I leave...here's the video from Layla making brownies. Neil started the camera just as she was really digging in....and stopped it before she went for round two (where the chocolate made its way into her little ear). My personal favorite is where the responsible mommy person (aka yours truly) ask the little toddler if she'd like for "me to hold the bowl up for you" while you go in head first? Really Lindsey...Really? I'll file that under my examples of a kid raising a kid :-)

Layla makes brownies... from Black Daffodil Films on Vimeo.

welcome home hosta family...welcome home

2009-04-22T03:49:00.001-07:00

My sweet mom comes over every Tuesday to spend time with Layla while I go and teach government at the community college. She and I (probably without knowing that both were working on the same thing) have managed to teach Layla to identify and pick out 10-12 of her ABCs in less than a week's time. I guess its that repetition between the two of us? And Layla, she couldn't be more proud of her new skill. She showed it off for Augie and Lauren last night and kept begging to "play more games". You could just see her light up when their reaction was shock that she knew the letters.

And yesterday....as a HUGE treat to me, mom came equipped with a shovel and bucket. If you guys remember, I am not a gardener. I like to think I am, but I'm not. I wish I were because I enjoy beautiful flowers, but I am not. Mom, however, has the most amazing ability to landscape even the saddest little beds (mine would be a perfect example). So yesterday, she split up this monster of a Hosta plant (who knew you could split them so easy) and then spread

it out so that it looked more appealing. It took her 15 minutes and my front bed already looks 10 times better. I was in shock. She also dug one crazy Hosta to make room for the new dogwood tree that she's going to give me. I couldn't be more excited! So I've taken a sort of before picture (its after the monster Hosta was split) and I'll take an after so you guys can really see how talented mom is at this digging in the dirt kind of thing. No remember, our house was built in 1932, so mom really REALLY has her work cut out for her. I think some of those less than desirable boxwoods have been here for 50 years--at least.

Finally...Layla and I made brownies yesterday afternoon....she thought it was so exciting how we made "choc" out of "dat powder". Her eyes were as big as saucers. It must have been a dream come true for her--such a gigantic bowl of chocolate. So, I let her lick the bowl when I was finished pouring it into the pan. I could hear my mom fussing at me from 15 miles down the road :-) But Layla loved it...and she had a chocolate mustache--um--beard to prove it. She had it everywhere...I even found some in her ear last night :-) NOW, that's a sign of a great afternoon...having to wash chocolate out of your ears!

OH and t-minus 5 days until we get a little peek at the baby! We're taking Layla with us...I hope that's a good idea? I don't think anything will frighten her.

updates...

2009-04-17T11:25:00.001-07:00

Layla:

Yes, Layla is just over two and YES she still has her paci when she goes to bed. We've been talking about how she's outgrown it and its more for babies than for big sisters. Today, we had the same sort of discussion when she looked at me...as straight faced and serious as possible and said, "mommy, Jesus has a paci...uh huh...he do mommy. And Jesus has a blankie with a special spot...just like Layla." How on Earth do you respond to that? I was speechless...

The Little Peanut in my belly:

So I thought I'd sort of take the time to keep up with all the pregnancy stuff via this blog...part of me thought I should wait for a while--you know, until after the first trimester...but I just can't. Funny stuff is already happening that's worth writing down.

Cravings this week: (1) Cheese, cheese crackers, cottage cheese, goldfish (see a theme) (2)Popcorn (3) Eggs (4) Burger King Hamburgers-plain (I swear I smelled Burger King the other morning...stranger yet, I don't even think we have one in Lexington...HA) (4) French Fries

Thinks that make me go...ICK: (1) Sweets...I can't even eat dry cereal because its too sweet (2) Chocolate (led to my first experience looking down the toilet) (3) Chewing gum....can you believe it? I can't even chew gum because its--you guess it...TOO SWEET (4) smoke (5) lawn clippings on the side of the road--I literally gag OUT LOUD when I run by them

I've also been having really bad indigestion--which prevents me from enjoying the aforementioned Burger King bag-o-deliciousness. I remember with Layla, I craved McDonald's chicken fillet sandwiches...but ask me if I ever had one...NOPE...darn that indigestion. I'm hoping it goes away because I want a REALLY big belly this time...none of that 22 lb weight gain that I had with Layla...I literally got NO attention until I was a full 7 months in.

Finally, I've had to back off of my running schedule a little. 50 miles a week when you are prego is probably not the best idea. I'm now running four days a week--one long run (@10-12 miles) and three shorter runs (@ 7-8 miles). Hopefully I can keep up with most of this for a while. I know at some point, I'll have to slow down and pull back a little.

HA and funny story. So I'm running the other day...it was beautiful outside...no watch...no Garmin. Just me. I was feeling so great when I came back into the neighborhood, that I decided to run another mile around the track at the park. As I approached the track, I noticed a very tan, young blonde girl (probably 4 years my junior) running around the track...she noticed me and I knew the competition was on. MAN...why do I fall for these things?? So I hit the track, roughly 20 yards behind her....I gained on her and passed her--it took about .4 miles to do it...but I did it. After I passed her and gained a little lead, she backed way off. I think I managed to look strong the rest of my mile...I think? And then I turned and ran home (maintaining my strong pace--didn't want anyone to see me let up). When I got in, I sat on the sofa...talked to Neil...and within minutes fell into a coma like sleep for a half hour---I didn't even change my clothes. HA. Not as tough as I was a month ago for sure :-) And clearly, I am lacking in the discipline department. Dad will not be happy with these shenanigans....I just couldn't resist

Drum roll...........

2009-04-14T03:52:00.001-07:00

Man oh man have I been out of a blogging mood or what lately?! I think I've had plenty to write, but no time to do it (darn that Facebook taking up ALL my free time--its a love/hate relationship, really).

So we had the blessing of sharing another Easter at my grandmother's this year. Its a running joke that she swears--every holiday and birthday--that she can't keep cooking big family dinners--its just too much to worry with and she fears she is losing her culinary skills. Fear not! She turned out an Easter dinner this year that HANDS DOWN beats every other Easter dinner (and not that its about the food anyway--but it was exceptional this year). I wish I would have taken a picture of all the food that her hands worked so hard on....and a video of the way she paces around the kitchen and then meanders outside for a smoke--peeping in to check every so often.

Agh she makes me smile--all her little quirks. I remember when I was a kid, driving 10 minutes to my grandmothers on a Saturday morning grab some breakfast. We didn't call ahead and didn't give her a warning. I was worried that she wouldn't be home and if she was, she wouldn't be happy that we were so presumptuous. When I shared my fears with my dad, he told me, "there are only a few certain things in life: death, taxes, and mom (my grandmother) being home with something to eat". He's right. I've never been to her house (even unannounced) that she wasn't (a) at home (b) excited to see me (c) able to fix a darn good meal on the spot. I mean guys...she doesn't care if she's in her dressing robe without a dab of makeup on her face. Its incredible. She's amazing...she is truly a servant in more ways than I can count....and I hope I'm like that one day.

Back to Easter...whew that was quite a sidebar, huh?

My mother made cupcakes that were absolutely adorable...and my little Layla thought they were the most magical things she's ever seen. If you aren't aware of Layla's love affair with all things shaped like cupcakes (muffins included)...here are three pictures from the past three months (the top one being Easter). And, we brush her teeth...I promise. I just love the way she attacks those cupcakes...I have never seen a child love and crave cupcakes like she does. Dad took all these pictures...I think he also finds humor in Layla's love of cupcakes. I'm sure he has a TON more of her digging into a cupcake, but I didn't want to post them all for fear of looking like a bad mommy :-)

Finally....BIG ANNOUNCEMENT...Neil and I are expecting our second. We are just having so much fun with Layla and are enjoying her so much that we want more and more and more (I think Neil would have 5 kiddos if we could). So God...knowing our desire for another one...gave us a little Easter blessing (despite my running like a maniac--this kid is going to be a trooper already). I have to admit, its a strange feeling finding out you are pregnant around Easter....it really comes with an overwhelming feeling of being very VERY blessed and humbled at the same time.

So we go to the doctor on April 27th to find out if there is one...or two in my tummy. Twins run in my family (mom, great aunts, great great grandmothers)...YIKES...and I've never felt more sick and tired in my life. I may be calling on your help, Jessica :-)

Nugglin'

2009-04-07T04:20:00.000-07:00

I realized that haven't posted any pictures of Layla in a while...SHAME ON ME! I pulled out the camera the other day and couldn't resist taking pictures of her playing on/in? mommy and daddy's "BIG bed". I think she could play on that bed for hours...making sheet tents and "nugglin". She's just now getting to that stage where she notices a camera out and hides from it...so she was a difficult subject. I think I took three pictures before she said, "no mommy". So I listened and put the camera away.

On an unrelated note (and for anyone who may care), I've decided not to run the half marathon in May. Spending $60 for 13.1 miles in this economic climate seems a little silly--especially after reading about and seeing children in my own community who have nothing to eat. I'm still trying to decide how to spend my $60...any suggestions?

SO, I think dad and I will probably head out the same weekend I was going to do the race and just do our own half marathon. I need to run a race so that I'll know how to build my training for the Marine Corps Marathon in October and Boston in April...YAY! Do you guys know how excited I am about the MCM...running such a huge and inspirational marathon with dad. PRICELESS! I think I'm equally as excited about doing Friday night and early morning long runs with dad in the summer--seeing fireflies across dark fields, listening to tree frogs, oh yeah...and dodging cars...that was so much fun last year and those are times that I will treasure forever, I'm sure.

Do me a favor...please

2009-04-05T03:56:00.001-07:00

I received a call from my best friend, Beth, the other day asking me to do her a HUGE favor and photograph her group of girls for *D* weekend. I'm up for doing favors (although this didn't seem to qualify as a favor)...and it helps that I really love Beth :-)

So I showed up to Monkezz Brew in Thomasville, camera in hand, to photograph this group of 5 girls and their fearless leaders, Beth and Emily. When I walked into the room where they were working (making jewelry and picture frames), I was overwhelmed with this feeling of pride. I was so SO proud to call Beth my friend...she was giving up an entire weekend to minister to these young girls and she was so genuinely happy to be there! She was patient and attentive. She was like the perfect "big sister" to those girls...which told me right away that she loved them--a lot.

Then, as she was introducing me to one of the girls, I heard her use the descriptive, "my very best friend". I was honored that she called messy little me her VERY best friend....honored beyond belief. Isn't always so nice to be called "friend" by someone you love so dearly?

The girls were so funny and full of life...they were an absolute pleasure to photograph. I just adore teenage girls--they are at this pivotal point in life where they are still very innocent about what it means to be a woman...but they are learning quickly. I admire Beth and Emily for investing in those girls' future...for giving those girls a perfect representation of what a woman should be.

So, as I was riding home yesterday...I thought about the "favor" that I was supposed to do, but that was really done for me. You see, I was wallowing in self pity yesterday (quite possibly due to not eating quickly enough after a long run--my mind and body started revolting)...you know, the kind where you just KNOW that you have it worse than anyone else in the entire universe while also knowing that you're being COMPLETELY ridiculous. That was me yesterday....and I was so ashamed of myself. What I really wanted to do yesterday was hide away until the intense desire to wallow exited my head....but what I ended up doing yesterday was photographing 5 teenage girls and my very best friend Beth. And what ended up happening was me seeing how absurd I was acting and how very blessed I am on so many levels. So do me a favor (no, really) next time I'm in a funky mood, put me in a room full of teenage girls and I'll snap out of it...they have a way of making me giggle.

Here are a few pictures of the girls...I think they really liked being followed around by a "photographer" downtown...they just lit up (and it probably helped that people were stopping in their cars to stare at them--they are beautiful girls).

Best day ever

2009-04-03T03:55:00.000-07:00

So I think I just celebrated my best birthday ever....

Most years, I look back and I promise that I'll start spending more QUIET time, start spending more quality time with family, start exercising more....drink less wine...stop smoking cigars with my hubby because its neither (a) attractive--though some men may argue otherwise (b) healthy....and I hate having a vice. THIS year...I looked back and was proud that I found running,--and thus more quiet time...quality time with my dad...I still have a glass of wine occasionally--but only if its good wine....and to the dismay of my husband, I no longer smoke cigars on a weekly basis--or at all for that matter (gotta keep those lungs at full capacity).

SO one of my birthday gifts this year was an early morning run with my dad. I've been training for a half marathon and my miles have been kind of crazy. Tuesday was going to be an easy and enjoyable 5-6 miles. Dad and I had a blast. Jerry was going to join us (he shares his birthday with me and his love of running), but didn't make it. He did, however, drive 15 minutes to drop off a birthday card to me that just made my heart swell. I realized that I'm getting a little sentimental as I get older--that what really means the most to me are unexpected efforts by people to make me feel special. Jerry made me feel special that morning, whether he intended to or not.

After our run, I rushed home and showered...then snuggled with Layla for a while (one of my new favorite hobbies). She has a new found love of snuggling and I am thrilled to oblige. Nothing does more to slow me down than a request by my little one to snuggle. I instantly forget my "to-do" list entirely and am happy to spend an hour in the bed...she has this way of just staring right at me...no words...then a huge giggle. I love it.

My sweet Neil took us for coffee and a muffin (muffin for Layla--I had lemon and fresh butter biscotti--YUM) at a sweet little coffee shop with an amazing garden and a little yellow Adirondack swing. Afterwards, Neil and I dropped Layla off at my parents for a round of intense spoiling, while we rushed off to Winston to play. I love being able to play with my husband...I'm challenging myself to find time to play more with Neil...even though that means being more creative because we can't just run off to Winston or Charlotte or Chapel Hill every weekend. I'll keep you guys updated :-)

Another thing I'm working on this year...taking time to listen and watch. I sometimes get rushed and hurried. Running (and spending an hour or so with only my breath as a soundtrack) has slowed me down a lot...but I still need some work. I tend focus on the 10 minutes ahead of me rather than the "right now". So this is what I think I'm going to do...I think I'm going to photograph something each day that I look at so often its become ordinary (or maybe that's too ambitious...we'll see) . My challenge is going to be to photograph it in a way that makes it extraordinary. YIKES...this may only last a week...HA!

SALE SALE SALE

2009-03-30T03:51:00.001-07:00

FYI...

runningskirts.com is having a 50% off Friday sale through the spring. Each Friday, they'll pick a skirt, and rather than selling it for $49.50, you'll get it for (you guessed it) $24!

If you've never seen their little running skirts, you have to go by and check them out. I'm excited enough about the sale to blog about it! They are so flippin cute and they're practical (pockets for gu, keys, cell phone). Now I have a special little place for my Uncle Sam refund...well, my little tiny chunk of our Uncle Sam refund.

2009-03-29T03:34:00.000-07:00

LAYLA

Sometimes I wonder if I am not a child raising a child. I have these wonderful ideas of what may be fun for Layla and they almost always end up a total and complete mess. One time I thought if would be just fine for her to help me mix pancake batter....but she's two and has no concept of gravity and the mess that pancake batter can leave if hurled onto the floor. So she started stirring rather aggressively (and said, "See, just like mommy"--I had no idea I stirred with such enthusiasm) and the bowl ended up face down on the floor. I will not repeat this fun little craft...ever...until she's got at least another year under her belt. We did get a good laugh out of the mess it left.

Then there was that one time I thought it would be a great idea for us to go play pretend with her shovels and rakes in the yard after it rained like crazy. I thought she'd enjoy pretending to cook (which is her favorite pretend game)--and I was right. She had a blast digging through red mud...sitting in red mud...asking to bring her red mud cake in the house. I, however, did not have a blast cleaning the mud off her clothes and shoes and fingers. She had dirt under her fingernails for at least three days (sorry mom). This one, however, we'll do again--wear old clothes--and we'll both have a blast in the mud.

Finally, last night I encouraged Layla --okay some moms may call it bribing, but it wasn't...there was no "if you do this, then you'll get _____"---shhhhh, I've done that before too and felt pretty rotten, but not this time. I digress.

She was pretty adamant about staying in her room and playing with her Aunt Chi (Lauren). I kind of thought that Chi would rather be downstairs with everyone than up in Layla's room. We had already been up there reading books for an hour. So I told Layla to come downstairs with me and I'd fill her play sink up with soap and water and she could cook and wash dishes like mommy.

RED FLAG...FILLING up a PLAY sink (not intended for water) with soap and water? Needless to say, she dumped two cup fulls of water on her shirt and pants and all over the floor. So, I stripped her of everything but her diaper and her cowboy boots. It was flipping hilarious. Then she requested her apron. She was so adorable and she was happily occupied for at least 45 minutes--wanted to play all by herself, occupied (which is a blessing while I'm cooking dinner)! AND, the floor by her little kitchen set has never been so clean. We are now out of paper towels, but the floor is so sparkly. I think we'll have to do this again...she had so much fun (and I got the floor cleaned AND dinner cooked). Hum, perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea?

RUNNING:

Dad and I added another long run to the books yesterday morning. We had so much fun--despite the consistent rain. The weather was nice and we ran a route that we haven't done since before the marathon. I finally felt really strong yesterday--I spent the three days prior to yesterday running with stomach cramps and this desire to head to the side of the road to throw up. Must have been that stomach virus going around. But yesterday, I was all better and it felt great.

I love this time of year...the smell of spring in the air...getting up kind of early to run. There are some mornings while we run that I swear if I close my eyes I can see my grandparents old house...set up for a yard sale...my grandmother outside smoking and my grandfather LOUDLY sipping his coffee outside. That's probably my favorite thing about the seasons changing...they always bring back distinct memories. I love that being outside running...with no other distractions...lets me enjoy those little memories. It allows me to think about them for longer than a second or two--because I really have nothing else to do for 15 miles. I like to share them with dad and laugh. Its a nice change from the political ranting that we also do while running. I did notice that our mile splits were a lot faster when we were talking politics. Didn't have a heart rate monitor on...that would have been interesting.

I'll have a picture of dad and I running soon...really soon.

Daddy Needs a Wipe part 2

2009-03-23T03:31:00.001-07:00

Okay so after this weekend, daddy REALLY needs a wipe..probably just the whole stinking box!

This weekend, Neil was off to Savannah with some much anticipated time with his guy friends. I have dubbed this weekend, "Man Weekend" because I wouldn't want to be around for anything they were doing--which says a lot because I'm not really a girly girl. They camped out, made campfires, shot their guns, smoked cigars and rode 4 wheelers through the swamps. They also did NOT shower or shave all weekend. At least Neil said that he wasn't the only one who came home four shades darker due to the caked up mud on his face. Seriously, I thought he had a really great tan when he walked in the door...then after his hour long shower...he was back to his normal Spring shade. I couldn't stop laughing. And it was nice that when he touched my hand while we were watching TV last night, he felt like he had sandpaper gloves on.

I think this weekend for Neil was nice on so many different levels. It believe we live in a world where our men are feeling more and more emasculated--where women are assuming the hunter gather role while our men are getting waxed and manicured. I won't go any further on this one (I felt myself wanting to get into hyphenated last names and the like)...you guys know how I feel about the feminist movement. This weekend, Neil and the guys were able to just enjoy being men (and I kind of enjoyed seeing a "man" walk through my door last night).

So while Neil was off in Savannah, Layla and I held the fort down (sort of) at home. I enjoyed my alone time with her. I know I stay at home with her, but its different when Neil is out of town and its girl time. I don't really worry as much about keeping the house cleaned during the day because no one sees it but me....dinner is more simple because its just the two of us...and we spent a lot of time giggling and snuggling in the morning and at night...just the two of us. On Saturday morning, Layla spent some quality time with my grandmother while dad and I did a long run. And we stayed over at my parents on Saturday night so Layla spent some time with my crazy ya yas (aunts) who were over for dinner. Layla was so sweet this weekend (despite her cold that kept her up on Sunday morning from 2am-4am) and SO happy to see her daddy come home! Its so much fun to see her get THAT excited about seeing her daddy and wanting to get her little arms around him as quickly as possible.

I'm thinking of getting a women's day together...not a whole weekend, maybe just a morning and afternoon--my diminishing marginal utility would kick in quickly when I started to miss Neil and Layla after a few hours :-) So, what to do? What is so insanely female that the boys would not even want to be around for a minute...hum...pedicures and a romantic comedy anyone?

Daddy needs a wipe

2009-03-18T04:13:00.000-07:00

So last night, Neil was away at his normal "cigar night" with the boys. His good friend Matt owns a cigar shop in Thomasville and sponsors a cigar night every Tuesday. I know Neil must look forward to that time to be with the boys (as much as I kind of look forward to catching up on some laundry on those nights--seriously, I kind of get a little excited about it).

ANYWAY as I was upstairs playing with Layla last night, she began to ask where her daddy was and if he would be home soon. I told her he was with Matt smoking cigars and he'd be home when she woke up in the morning. She kind of got this perplexed look on her face....walked over to her baby wipes...opened the box...pulled out two wipes (she does everything in "twos") and came back over to the table where we were sitting. She looked at me and said, "ewww....dats yucky mommy...daddy need some wipes?" Apparently she is not quiet a fan yet of cigar smoke. HA! I am excited to see what's in store for Neil first thing this morning...that girl doesn't stop!

RUNNING-

Okay, so I'm right on track for doing the half marathon in May. I'm trying to finish it in around 1:38 minutes. The training is somewhat challenging, but its fun. I like a good challenge...I enjoy the feeling of sore legs when I wake up in the morning. So we'll see. Dad is getting back to his old running self again as well--which is so nice. He had a few weeks of cramping muscles after taking that medicine for pneumonia.

FINALLY...

We had a great weekend at the beach. My mom, dad, aunt, uncle, cousins and nephew, Bradyn, all left for the beach on Thursday. Dad and I were going down to work...we had a wedding on Saturday in Charleston...but the rest of the family was there to play. Layla had so much fun. I am always reminded at times like these how important it is to spend time with kids. She's said for days now how much she LOVES Tyler and Madison and Donna and Bobby. You'd think there were no other people on Earth but them.

So, check out the Black Daffodil blog when you get the chance, I'll be doing a write up on how filming went on that blog. Lets just say, I had an absolute blast...that Super 8 camera is an amazing piece of work that I am developing a real connection with!

Repeat as desired

2009-03-08T04:20:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was amazing. Normally on Saturday mornings, I get up extra early to squeeze in a long run before the day starts getting away from me. I really try to schedule every run while Layla is sleeping to avoid my hobby (running) from interfering with my job (mommy-ing). Yeah, sometimes I get the two switched around for a hot minute...but the laundry, kitchen sink and a sweet little voice quickly remind me :-)

ANYWAY, because I'm doing my long run this afternoon, I was able to spend a fun morning with Layla. I'm sure most of you stay-at-home moms would agree that it feels so rare that we get to do the really FUN things. So, I promised myself yesterday was going to be a special Layla and mommy day (Neil was going to pick up our new KING size pillow top bed from his parents..THANK YOU--sleep never felt so good--now I know why some people really enjoy doing it).

We started our morning by playing with her big girl undies. Layla wanted to pretend they were groceries and she was cooking dinner. So I pretended to eat big girl undies for a solid hour. I was fortunate to have the chef right there to remind me that I needed to use my fork and not my hands. Silly me! We then decided to take the dinner party to Neil and climbed back in the big bed. We snuggled and talked--and fed daddy big girl undies before making our way to the coffee shop. Layla LOVES muffins. I think she likes that she can eat them without having to use her fork and spoon. So, we went to the Riverwood Coffee Shop for juice and a muffin. If any of you live in the area...you HAVE to give that place a try. Layla and I sat outside next to the little goldfish pond under an umbrella. It was so cozy and the gardens were beautiful.

THEN...off to the "new park". We spent the rest of our morning at Finch Park with my dad, brother, sister-in-law and nephew Bradyn. Layla had a blast watching all the other kids and learning new climbing skills. And I managed to refrain from hovering! YAY mommy. I tend to hover. I have an insane fear of her falling or busting her mouth open...I hover...I am a hover-er. But not yesterday--and she did great. And I loved seeing that sense of accomplishment when she climbed the potentially hazardous bars :-) up to the slide.

So here is a picture of a successful Layla...compliments of Dad :-)

And yes...we fed the ducks--well geese (YIKES), I didn't really see any ducks. Layla was a hit with those geese too because she just launched the hamburger buns..didn't even tear them into pieces. They loved her!

FINALLY, we had my brother's birthday last night at my grandmother's house. The smell of spring in the air mixed with her cigarette smoke, the feeling of cold grass on my feet (yeah, my grandmother yelled at me for taking my shoes off so early in the season) and the sound of familiar voices made me feel like a kid again. It was one of those times where you just want to sit back and breathe it all in (not the smoke....) knowing that one day you'll look back and realize how quickly time passed. I feel so blessed to have a family that I know so intimately...to have each person's movements etched in my head...to have relationships with each that are so different and so tangible.

Yesterday was perfect. If it were a bottle of conditioner it would say, "repeat as desired"

oops I did it again...

2009-03-06T03:34:00.001-08:00

DOCTOR VISIT:

So Layla had her two year check up yesterday with her doc. She was so funny. She was so excited to see "Doctor Griffim" and to find out what her heart had to say :-) It was a great appointment until the nurse came back with the finger pricking thing, two tubes to fill up with blood AND a Hep A vaccine. YIKES. Neil was amazing with Layla. I held her on my lap and he made the whole thing a game. Layla never felt tense or scared. She said "that hurt Layla" and cried a little, but it was nothing that two kisses on her ouchies AND a pink camo bandage couldn't take away. It was great having my partner there...we make a pretty great team, even if it is just holding and entertaining a little one. Which, come to think of it has been our biggest job for the past two years, so I probably shouldn't minimize it, huh?

Okay so here is a little picture of her playing "dress up"--somewhat scary to see her in pink heels. I remember promising my dad at a very young age that I would never wear heels or make up and that I'd be his little girl forever (sorry dad--I love my heels). I felt myself wanting Layla to agree to that for me already and she's only TWO.

OOPS I DID IT AGAIN:

What in the world was I thinking. I was having a great morning yesterday--productive, calm, energetic. THEN out of nowhere (and I fault Facebook, not myself :D), I found myself in the pit of a political debate and I could not dig myself out fast enough. I don't know why when it comes to politics, I instantly turn into a little pit bull.

Really, I was just sort of NOT minding my own business and looking at a friend's Facebook blog when I noticed some female--who will remain anonymous-made a comment about how this country needed less people like Rush Limbaugh who admittedly wanted this "country to fail". EXCUSE ME...I couldn't let a misguided comment like that just go down in Facebook history as the truth. It was up to me to set this seemingly ignorant person straight, right. I think my dad warned me of trying to argue politics with the other side of the ideological spectrum. OOPS!

Anyway, as we started inching toward arguing the tenants of socialism, I replied that Facebook probably wasn't an appropriate venue to flex our academic muscles (although I do feel mine were in far better shape)..HA!

So I went out for a run yesterday afternoon after all of this went down, and could only get 4 miles in because I was so stinking upset. You know, when you leave a discussion and you say to yourself, "I should have said ______" and then you start rehearsing in your head for the next time something happens. GUILTY.

But its over...and I promise you...no more political banter on Facebook for me. I have to learn when to keep my mouth shut and just suck it up. Isn't that what most of my conservative contemporaries do anyway?

Elmo P

2009-03-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

Layla's new phrase, "ooooo....I love this...this is MY favorite". She says it about cereal, juice, milk, milk cups, the colors pink, red and yellow--really just about anything that she likes at the moment. Last week when I was getting her ready for bed, she grabbed my face...looked at me and said, "I love you...my favorite mommy". Yeah, my heart turned into a great big pile of mush. I reminded myself of this moment several times this week when we were battling over diapers and getting dressed. I have a feeling that I'm going to look back at this stage of her life and find it very strange.

So...I guess thanks to Rachel's little ABC video....and mommy singing ABCs as a night night song (until Layla looked at me and said, "no mommy, not like this song") Layla is now singing her ABCs like crazy. The first time she said them all together, I squealed with excitement. And who knew that it was actually "Elmo, P" instead of "L, M, N, O, P" HA! The funny thing is that she is starting to really recognize the letters and know that "L" is for Layla, "M" is for mommy, "B" is for Bradyn and of course, "C" is for Chi--which translates into a request for doughnuts.

Anyway so here's a video (forgive me..its on my camera and not an actually video camera...so the quality is not so great) of her ABCs.

ABCs from dillon james on Vimeo.

Finally...despite the forecast for ice and snow...dad and I have plans to lace up our shoes this afternoon. NUTS O! At least there is one other person on this Earth as crazy as me :-)

Black Daffodil

2009-02-25T03:50:00.001-08:00

Good morning blog-o-sphere. I want to apologize for the lack of posts lately...I have been in such a weird funk. I feel like I've been injected with 40ccs of tryptophan. Running has been sort of blah. My desire to dig into projects around the house has been blah...trying to get a new business off the ground and running feels like I'm banging my head against the wall. Do I have any company out there?? Maybe its the yucky news we're being fed about the economy. Or it could just be that my chi is broken...HA! Or that I argued nationalized health care with a student in class and she hasn't been back since (at my defense, she stated that we were the only county without nationalized health care and I had no choice but correct her). At any rate, a nice little run with dad yesterday was just what I needed to help me come back to center.

I showed up at the track to do speed work..and as soon as dad said, "lets go". I was shocked to hear myself tell him that I wasn't up to speed work. I needed a nice little "thinking run" at the track where all I had to think about was "left, right, left breathe, right, blink, left, right...". It was so nice. Dad let me violate our "no complaining until after the first mile" rule which was very gracious of him. He listened to me vent about wanting to step in and take the bull by its horns with some things...and then reminded me of the importance of finding my OWN vision and how to apply it. Apparently that's much more important than stressing over a business card---who knew :-) Dad is so easy going...he's so calm, so deliberate and thoughtful. These are attributes that I admire in my dad...and ones that didn't really get passed on to me. I like order...I like predictability...I love progress that is tangible so I tend to put pressure on small things (ie-business cards). I saw yesterday why dad and I work so well together. I am convinced that we could win Amazing Race...hum....what's that prize package worth again?

So, before I go any further....

Please check out my new blog:

blackdaffodilfilms@blogspot.com

I'll still be posting on this blog all my personal things, but check out Black Daffodil Films for my creative projects. My hope is over then next few months, I'll be able to piggyback a non-profit onto Black Daffodil--one that involves two of my passions, running AND film! YAY!

Running Buddies--the funky face--and happy birthday

2009-02-18T03:08:00.001-08:00

They are the best there are...for sure! A good running buddy is probably the most dependable friend in the universe. A good running buddy is someone you open up to about things you hardly tell a soul--after only 10 miles. A good running buddy is someone that I have come to appreciate more and more over the past few months.

My dad was first diagnosed with pneumonia last Friday. He was given a dose of antibiotics that weaken his tendons (WHAT???) and with the fluid in his lungs and whatnot, was advised not to run (double WHAT???). Fortunately, my running buddy Toddy enjoyed the first part of my long run with me and we had a blast. I feel like after that nice long run, we've been re-acquainted to the point we where when we sat in the East Davidson hallways and made up cheers instead of completing our English assignments. I don't know...you get to a level with someone when you are running that goes a little further than the dinners and lunches we all try to have to keep up with each other. So this weekend should be another fun one as Tiff is joining Toddy and I for 8 beautiful miles. That's right...we are missing one little person (HINT HINT). If you know this person, please encourage her to join us sometime :-)

SO on Monday, dad got a call from his doctor telling him that he didn't have pneumonia, just a really bad respiratory virus. BUT since he was on such a crazy antibiotic, he really shouldn't run hard until his finished with his meds. Okay--well, yesterday was speed work at the track and I was DREADING running all those repeats--ALONE. Dad called yesterday morning and said his long time and my semi-new running buddy Jerry would meet me at the track and run with me. I was kind of nervous because track work with a partner takes some degree of trust and communication. After the first warm up mile, my mind was more than put at ease. Jerry is a stinkin maniac when it comes to timing repeats. He shouted out our times every 100 meters. And during our cool down miles, we actually talked about things beyond the weather and my dad. We talked about me staying at home with Layla...we talked about his kiddos. It was nice. Hey, and anyone crazy enough to run repeats at the track to help out a friend is the BEST RUNNING BUDDY ever in my book. And I should note, he once ran a 16 mile run--just for fun-- with dad and I while one arm was mobilized after having shoulder surgery. Man's a manic I tell you...

So our speed work was as follows

1 mile warm up at 9 minutes a mile

4 x 1200 @ 1:45 (our average ended up being 1:40)

1 mile cool down at 8:45 a mile

As and FYI, I think Layla was inspired by Anna's posting of Rachel's morning serenade. We've watched it more times than I can count. She woke up this morning and asked to see Rachel sing ABCs before she even thought of breakfast or milk. So I asked her if she'd like to sing on tape...she was so excited to lay down her hottest track. Its a song that's probably familiar to many of you...but I believe her rendition to be in my all time top 10. See for yourself....

Happy Birthday from dillon james on Vimeo.

FINALLY and more importantly, Layla's funky face has finally been caught on tape. Neil taught Layla this face when a good funky beat comes on the radio. Its hilarious. So here you go...funky face with a nice pink boa. Does it get any better? And can I just say that her favorite funky song is Pusher Man...yeah...not mommy's favorite choice in lyrics. She actually asked for Neil to put her down for bed the other day and wanted him to sing Pusher Man as a lullaby. HA...imagine trying to G rate that song for your two year old. I guess it'll make for a really funny story one day :-) We joke that it'll be her first dance song with Neil in the VERY VERY VERY distant future...

Untitled from dillon james on Vimeo.

Layla 2.0

2009-02-10T17:01:00.000-08:00

Layla turns TWO tomorrow. I stare at her and can't believe how quickly and slowly time has passed. It seems like a lifetime ago that we brought her home from the hospital feeling completely overwhelmed and clueless. I was honestly afraid that I'd break her. Had my mother not been around, I probably would have left her in the same little one piece outfit that the nurse at the hospital helped me put on her for the first week. But then, it seems like a blink ago that we were wondering if she'd ever learn to pick her paci up by herself and put it in her mouth or what it would feel like to hear her say "mommy".

I had no idea when we looked at her for the first time, who Layla would become to me. I didn't know that she'd have such a compassionate heart...that she'd have her daddy's smile--you know, the kind that lights up a room...that she'd have such a sweet disposition...that she'd be so independent but so obedient...that she could speak volumes with only her eyes. I had no idea that the way her little cheeks move when she says "two" and "you" could melt my heart...I had no idea that dancing to the Wiggles CD could be so much fun and that I'd fall in love with Neil all over again each time he changed a yucky diaper. I didn't know how wonderfully vulnerable motherhood would make me...I didn't know that after two years, I'd still be questioning and evaluating my parenting EVERYDAY.

I'm blessed beyond belief.

I hope to post a video that Neil put together of her second year...hopefully tomorrow. For now, here's a picture that my dad took at her little birthday party (I wish I could take credit for the super cute picture :-) but it all goes to dad on this one).

At her request, mom and I made 36 cupcakes all decorated like Princess Lillifee's cupcakes. You can tell from the picture that she was totally focused on her cupcakes. I still have pink food coloring in my finger nails. Its the second year mom and I have enjoyed time together making sure Layla's cake is SUPER special. I love seeing the finished product as much as I love spending that time with my mom. She's superwoman when it comes to decorating cakes for sure!

blah blah blah

2009-02-06T03:46:00.000-08:00

HEY...so I'm here...but I got nothin...NOTHIN. I've been walking around my house and my neighborhood looking for something blog worthy. I'm sure I'm missing something...or my brain went on a brief hiatus from blogging. Its probably the latter.

Anyway, I'll just put up some hot pics for now :-)

Rest assured that next week is going to hold the BEST POST EVER. I know...its going to top all the other seemingly boring posts up to this point! Hard to believe, huh? HA...

Layla and I made cupTAPES the other day and she insisted on her apron when we delivered our first batch to daddy's workshop.

What was I thinking

2009-01-26T17:08:00.000-08:00

I figured out why Layla was so full of herself last week. She was a day away from a yucky cold--complete with a fever and a very yucky cough. She was pitiful. I cried twice just looking at her sad little face.

That sad little face has a tendency to wipe her little runny nose on my nose. Don't ask me why...she's done that since her very first runny nose. Strange? The stranger thing is that I kind of think its sweet. Its a death sentence for me...within hours, I'm enjoying the same cold, fever and cough. So on Saturday, Layla and I watched The Tigger Movie and the Veggie Tales almost all day while Neil was away taking a class. She never watches TV, so it was partially a treat. For about 30 minutes, she was excited and still. After 30 minutes, she was bored out of her mind. At one point on Saturday, we both looked at each other in between coughs and just sighed. I wanted to cry, but Layla said, "no mommy, Layla cry". Apparently only one of us were allowed to cry at a time. We needed our daddy...when he came home at 5:30, we were both rotten. Poor thing (Neil).

Needless to say, I didn't get in a long run on Saturday. Originally, I was thinking that no matter how bad I felt, that I'd still run because it would be at least two hours of peace and quiet. I think that makes me a selfish masochist. Does it? I didn't get a long run on Sunday either. SO today I was bent on running. Can I just say that I coughed, while running, until I wet my pants--multiple times. I'm thinking about making a running Depends for moms with weak bladder control muscles. I don't really want to hear about Kegel exercises because they don't work. Unbelievable my stinking bladder problems.

As a side note, I've committed to running a 5K at the end of February in Chapel Hill. I'm going to attempt a PR and going for 21-20 minute finish time. That's a sub 7 minute mile...I think I can do it pretty easy? Dad and I are starting on Wednesday with those wonderful hill repeats. Then next week, we'll be doing them twice a week. After 5 sessions, we'll be heading to the track for me to continue to wet myself--I mean, do speed work. I'm excited...I love a challenge and I'm excited for something different.

Okay...so now I'll be held accountable for my fast 5K :-)

Dats ugly

2009-01-21T04:10:00.000-08:00

BOY was Layla in a bossy/wild mood yesterday. She bossed her babies around and attempted to boss mommy around. Okay, so by the end of the day, I sort of gave in. I was worn out...it was a hard battle with an almost 2 year old. Not only was she bossy, but she was like...borrowing here from my dad..."a bull in a china shop". Does snow make little ones wild or something? She was the kind of wild where you can see it in her eyes.

SO...last night's conversation with Layla went something like this. My clown routine was worn out...my patience (and I kind of consider patience my strong suit) was dwindling....when I heard...

Layla: Mommy...mommy...mommy...MAMOOO....mommmYYYY...mommy....oh mommy

**Note: still one of the sweetest things I hear all day...for the most part :-)

Mommy (yelling over the running water in the bathroom) : Just a sec, baby.

Layla: Mommy....mommy...MAMMOO...need you mommy

Mommy (walking in to her room, slightly exasperated): yes, baby.

Layla: Oh mommy....dats ugly. Dats ugly mommy.

Mommy: Mommy's being ugly???

Layla: 'yes, baby' dats ugly

HA...so I guess my tone was not desirable for her? I thanked her for bringing it to my attention and then hugged her and told her I was sorry. She proceeded to hit all of her stuffed animals...then look at me and say, "dats ugly, right der". She's funny.

The baby saga continues....

2009-01-16T17:27:00.001-08:00

We had a neighborhood happy hour/play date this afternoon. Layla and I were the first to arrive. I chatted with the mom who was hosting as Layla made her way to the play room. It only took her five minutes to dig a tiny little (and apparently neglected) baby from the bottom of a toy basket. She got a concerned look on her face, as I heard her saying "poor baby"...she cuddled and kissed the baby...and said, "there, all better". For the remaining hour and a half we were there, she refused to give up that little baby. Whatever Layla did, the baby did.

I realized after watching Layla and her new baby, that it was going to be a challenge to get her out of the house with just the items we brought with us. I prepped her for our departure, telling her she needed to put away the toys she was playing with and give her babies (at this point she had three babies in her arms) bye kisses. I walked in the other room to grab my coat...on the way back I could hear a familiar little voice doing the most pitiful little cry I've ever heard. I walked in the room to find Layla alone...with the new baby...rocking her and crying. It was so COMPLETELY pitiful. I picked her up and she said, "peas mommy...baby come with me?". The "owner" of the baby said "YES...please take the baby, she doesn't get any attention here".

SO home we went, with another baby. I kind of thought Layla would put her down and I could return the baby tonight...nope. Baby Abby is sleeping in Layla's crib as I write this post. Layla fed her dinner, brushed her teeth...and loved on her all night. She loved on that little baby like I've never seen her do with anything.

Do you think she thought the baby wasn't being loved? That's all I could figure. I have never never never seen her act like that with a little baby doll.

She's a sweet one...that little Layla An.

Seasonal Outlook

2009-01-15T03:49:00.000-08:00

Layla:

She has so many new phrases...and her little personality is showing in some very interesting ways. Can I just say that she isn't a whiner? YAY! I don't think I could deal with a whiny little girl...She's pretty explicit when she wants or doesn't want something and kind of bypasses the whining and goes straight to a strong "No" or "move, please". I love that she's assertive. I hope she stays that way.

So my favorite phrase this week...

We were at my grandmothers for our normal Monday lunch and my grandma was complaining about her knees to Layla. Layla looked at her with knitted eyebrows--like she felt my grandmother's pain and said, "Bless your heart"...HA! I nearly fell over.

School:

Ahhh....school has started back for me. I have a full class this semester--28 students. Interestingly enough, 8 of those students are somewhere between the ages of 40 and 72. CRAZY. They are all back in school for the first time in years because of unemployment. I have never seen such an interesting demographic shift since I started teaching. I'm thrilled and excited to hear each persons' unique input--from my two veterans to my fellas with multiple (and painful looking) facial piercings. Should be a fun semester?? Now back to putting on my bi-partisan mask...HA HA!

Running:

Finally...I have decided to opt out of the United Healthcare Marathon in May. It was supposed to be a Boston Qualifier, but they have moved the race from Greensboro to High Point. There were several factors that played into my decision (1) I hate changes like that...they freak my freak a little (2) I don't know at this stage of the game that they will be able to get certified in time to be a BQ race--and I'm not paying $80 to just run 26.2 miles around High Point. (3) I kind of like the idea of playing around with my running...doing some 10K and half-marathon speed work (4) I really want to run the Marine Corps with dad in October...its a BQ marathon.

SO--decision made. I'm running the Marine Corps in October to qualify for Boston. Between now and early summer, when I'll start gearing up for October, I'm playing around with some two a day runs during the week (because I can afford to take some risks)...do some fun hill workouts (HELLO Caraway Mountain)...and play with speed work (ie-wetting myself) at the track. I think I may do the United Healthcare half marathon and just see how fast I can do it? We'll see.

Boy its going to be a fun winter and spring. I have a new runner on my hands...my best friend Tiffanie is starting her running career this week...YAY! She's training for a 10K in March...and she's going to be great! Maybe she'll start a blog so we can all keep up with her successes...HINT HINT :-)

Jack Frost

2009-01-09T12:35:00.001-08:00

My toe is frost bitten. Strange? My toes FREEZE--literally, apparently--when I run...sometimes they stay numb for the first two miles. Not a good thing, I guess. Its my third toe on my left foot...its all red and funny looking. When I get a slight chill in my feet, it starts to cramp. Layla thinks its hilarious.

Sort of funny...sort of not funny.

Anyway...just thought I'd share. If anyone reading my blogs about wetting my pants, throwing up, and frost bite would still love to join me on some runs...please do so. I really think self mutilation only occurs in those of us who are too stubborn to stop or slow down :-)

On a side note...Layla has had ZERO wet diapers and ZERO yucky diapers today. She's used the big girl potty three times. Here's a picture of her enjoying a little reward....

Mommy knows best

2009-01-05T16:52:00.000-08:00

I know...I know...I know...two posts in two days. Does that violate some sort of blogging code?

Anyway, this was too great to pass up and I'm trying to use this blog to keep up with Layla's latest and greatest antics. SO...here goes.

Layla received TONS of babies for Christmas. I have honestly never seen a child love on babies as much as she does. They each get special treatment...each gets pushed in a stroller, burped, new diapers, and dinner. Some get their hair brushed and some have their nummies (ie-pacis) during nap time. Though each baby is different, they are all baby dolls...baby dolls whose clothes have been neatly removed so they all have the same little white bodies. Tonight as I took Layla upstairs to put on PJs and read her books, I realized that all but two of her babies were downstairs. She really should be fine with two babies..there was no need to worry about the other three, right? Not so much. She first asked for Baby Sasha...as I was halfway down the steps I heard her yell, "two babies mommy...TWO BABIES". So I grabbed the second baby. I handed them two her...she inspected each.

I knew what she was looking for..she was missing just one baby. Maybe she'd be fine. She looked them all over and glanced up at me. She asked for Baby Zoe. I picked up one baby, thinking it was Baby Zoe...they had the same mouth, I thought. She said, "no mommy...need Baby Zoe...sleepy". I assumed at that point she was afraid Baby Zoe was sleepy and didn't have a crib. Sooooooo I ran downstairs, grabbed the last baby and she was right...it WAS baby Zoe.

Layla tucked each one in their crib...gave them all kisses...folded her hands and said, "thank you Lord...amen". Smiled at her sleeping babies and walked over to me.

I guess a mommy knows her babies..all five of them. And she was not willing to rest until each baby was safe in her crib. So sweet!

Really should move

2009-01-04T03:38:00.000-08:00

LAYLA:

How does this happen? Layla is talking in full sentences...within the past week she has become quite the chatty Kathy. She's worked her way through half of her ABCs...I had no clue she was picking up on my singing them 2-3 times a day, but three days ago she randomly started singing "A B C...HIJK....LMMMMNNNOP....XTUV...Z" . I was so proud while she was sort of unimpressed, like she's known them for weeks but just now let it out.

So here are two cute little "learning to talk" Layla stories. Yesterday she was talking to her "buddy"--some imaginary friend she has--while I was settling her down before her nap. I looked down at her to ask her what she was talking about, when she asked me to "move you face peeaass". I couldn't help but giggle--clearly, I was in her way. Then she said (very matter-of-factly), "really should moovvee, mommy". HA! I felt like I was hearing myself. I tell her quite frequently that she "really should" do something (ie-put her shoes on, eat her green beans, etc).

Last night, as we were saying her prayers...I kind of went off on a tangent like I sometimes do during my own prayer time. We were thanking God for daddy and his strong hands and hard work, when I started praying for his business endeavors. I felt Layla's body move...I cracked my eyes open and she was looking at me with this blank look on her face. I think I must have been talking "big girl" talk. She quietly said, "mommy....mommy...no, mommy (long pause)....Amen".

Toddler talk is so sweet. Please tell me she'll talk like this forever. OH...Go to Neil's blog and check out her dance moves...the kid has some talent :-)

RUNNING:

I realize I haven't even really mentioned running in weeks. Dad and I haven't picked up our training for May yet. We're still kind of running easy--sort of. Last week, I logged about 45 miles...and we're still running our long runs and easy runs at an average 8:30 pace--which is a really fun change. Its actually much easier for me to keep that pace than a slower one? Strange? I guess its just different muscle groups.

Our long run yesterday was quite nice. We used my Garmin, which allowed us to run an entirely new route without any planning. We kind of took the turns at the last minute, but kept an eye on our mileage via the Garmin. It was so nice to mix it up a little and get off our normal path. Even our conversations yesterday seemed refreshed and different.

One of the things we talked about yesterday was our New Year's day run. I started out on that run with sort of a quiet expectation that it would be, at the least, slightly enlightening--because its New Year's and that's what happens, right? But, as I was running...I started thinking about my pace...my to-do list...grocery shopping...the mundane. I got back to the house and realized that my 5 miles on New Year's day wasn't much more than a normal little run. Dad experienced something similar. We agreed that that feeling or normalcy after a run made that run extraordinary. Dad said its because running is what "we do" (which kind of made me giggle...dad called the day after the marathon and asked if I wanted to go out and "do what we do"--meaning RUN--and we did but it wasn't pretty). We run--not because of a resolution or because the idea of running sounds nice...we run because we have to. How amazing is it that we do something so great for our bodies and our minds...and its just normal for us--like eating and sleeping. SO..I'm going to enjoy more mundane runs this year...little 5-7 mile runs with no Garmin...no lofty expectations...just the sound of my feet hitting the pavement and my voice going over all my to-do lists and Layla's little voice telling me that I "really should move" :-)

Whole Foods and New Jersey

2008-12-26T19:10:00.000-08:00

Neil left this morning for New Jersey. His uncle is getting married, so Neil and his dad drove up to New Jersey for the wedding. I already miss him like crazy. I think I started missing him even before he left this morning.

Layla has been asking about him periodically today. She expected him at breakfast and then again at dinner. Each time, I explained to her that daddy was in New Jersey for a few days but he'd be back really soon. She was--and probably still is--wondering who or what is New Jersey. HA!

Layla has really gotten into saying her prayers. It's so sweet to see her little hands folded so tightly that her finger tips turn white. She squints her little eyes and gets out a couple of "thank you Fathers" and some other little odds and ins. Tonight before I put her down for bed, we were thanking God for her new fuzzy bear, new milk, new chewing gum (see a pattern...she's REALLY...I mean REALLLYYYYY into "new" things--in fact, she almost always asks me if something is "new" or "yucky"...HA!), a nice warm house, and a strong daddy....when I heard her little voice say, "tink you fowa neeeewww jersey"...and she was serious--WAY serious. I kind of cracked my eye open and saw her little eyes squinted so tight. Then she thanked God for Whole Foods...yep...Whole Foods? She ended her prayers with a very satisfied, "there, all done". I tried to slip in a request to help her with her desire to hit....but she said--sort of impatiently--"No mommy. All done."

So sweet and innocent. I'll try and get a picture of those little folded hands to post. It'll melt your heart, for sure.

Hope you all had a nice Christmas...if anyone is reading this from New Jersey/Whole Foods, know that my little almost two year old really appreciates your state/company.

Blessed

2008-12-20T02:44:00.001-08:00

Yesterday...my tank was on empty. For whatever reason, I stumbled through the entire day, exhausted.

I normally greet each day with quiet time....two cups of coffee...and my "cereal snack" (which is really just a cup of dry cereal). I wish you all knew how excited I get about this time of day. Some nights, I rush off to bed so that morning will come quicker. I just enjoy getting my perspective right for the day. For me, its like stretching before you exercise. Yesterday morning, I was awoken from my sleep at 5:30 by my sweet little Layla...yelling "hold you mamooooo"--which is Layla speak for "hold me, mommy". When I hear "mamooooo", I know its serious. So I ran upstairs and spent the better part of the 6:30 hour getting her calmed down. She was grumpy, needed rest, but wanted to come downstairs for oatmeal.

OKAY...I just HAD to find time to put this picture in that my dad took the other day...it fits here, right?

Midway through the morning, I was talking to a dear friend and was told about a precious little baby who has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy. I cried. I looked at Layla and was embarrassed that I would even think about grumbling when she pulled me out of bed in the morning. I probably wore her little cheeks out from kissing them. That was my first little gut check of the day. I immediately asked for forgiveness and for a change in my perspective. Problem solved..right...um yeah...not so much.

Layla and I both plowed through the morning and were generally happy, despite her early rising. Layla went down giggling for her nap....but my day was about to change. I had to run to WALMART...YIKES! I had last minute stuff to do for Christmas and silly me opted for WalMart instead of going for a run. Looking back, a nice little run to catch my breath and talk to God would have probably been a better choice. After nearly being plowed over by a buggy--driven by a girl who clearly saw me standing there...and doubling back twice to the gift wrapping aisle...I was on my way back home. I tackled some laundry...put together gifts for the neighbors..but all the while knew deep in my heart--I mean, I felt the pull--that I needed to stop and spend a couple of minutes with God. I didn't...and within minutes of getting the first load of laundry put away, Layla was up and ready to play.

She and I had a great afternoon, we went to the park...ran through the grass pretending we were airplanes....sang the "Name Game" song while swinging...AWH, but then I looked at my watch and remembered that Neil and I had plans that night and my mom was coming over to keep Layla at 5pm. It was 4:55....my hair was still damp and I had no makeup on. I rushed back to be greeted by a husband who was pouring over a WAY TOO HIGH power bill. Fist in my stomach. I wanted to puke. My stress level started climbing.

Needless to say, by 5:30 when we were heading out the door...I just wanted to crawl in the bathroom and have a "Lifetime shower"...you know..the one where the chick cries her eyes out in the shower. I am a little dramatic...

I didn't want to go to our friends house. I love them dearly..but I felt wiped out and defeated. I felt that painted smile wanting to creep across my face. Yuck! We arrived....and were greeted with little Christmas gifts from our friends Chris and Lindy. I opened my little bag and found this picture (click on link here).

For the second time that day, my eyes filled with tears. Here was a man who, despite his work schedule, personal demands...and all the "impossibilities" that keep us (OKAY...namely ME) from seeking time with God, climbed up on this mountain, REMOVED HIS SHOES...and worshiped. Second gut check of the day. I sat in my chair quietly embarrassed at how I spent my day.

This is what I learned yesterday....I can ABSOLUTELY not let the "temporary" dictate my day or choose my perspective for me. HA--and God is going to get His point across to me no matter what. I avoided him more than twice yesterday, but He still managed to bring me to my knees.

I also learned that Neil and I have some really amazing people that we call friends. People that we laughed until we cried with last night and people that inspire us...that help change us for the better. Oh and people that buy great sushi :-)

Thank you Beth and Matt for all the laughs--Beth, I really think we rocked that game--in a nerdy cool kind of way...right? I think so...HA! Chris and Lindy--thank you guys for hand delivering God's message to me yesterday. That picture is worth more to me than you'll ever know. I'd like 50 wallets of it to place around my house...in each room where I work...so that when I start to put God off...or when I start to complain...I can glance at that picture and remember that my stress comes from the temporary....and that only the permanent can provide me with comfort and peace.

Can I have permission to reprint :-)

The results are in....

2008-12-14T10:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was an experience. My dad battled a back problem early in the week, which made me really worried as to whether or not he'd even make it through the marathon on Saturday...THEN...on Thursday, he developed quite the stomach virus. He thought it was due to the steroids the doctor gave him for his back, but when my mother was sick on Friday night, he knew it was the norovirus. Needless to say, dad wasn't able to keep any food on his stomach for three days...INCLUDING Friday and Saturday morning.

Still...we were so positive all the way to Charlotte. My stomach was doing flips...I chalked it up to nerves and adrenaline. The gun went off...and off we went. Our first few splits were 8:30, 8:00, 7:55, 8:00, 8:10...By the 12th mile, we were set to finish about 6 minutes ahead of our qualifying time. By the 12th mile, my stomach exploded and there were NO PORTA POTTIES. I had some stomach pains for a couple of miles, but I still thought it was all the adrenaline. It wasn't. I had the norovirus. I held off saying anything to dad until the 16th mile, because we were still right on target to finish 6 minutes ahead of our goal. But my stomach started cramping again and I noticed a beautiful green porta potty. I ran in...threw up twice...walked out with my upper thighs shaking (as they do when you have a stomach virus). We ran into the Marriott for me to clean myself up, where I proceeded to throw up three more times. I walked out of the bathroom....cleaned my face..and dad and I took off running.

I ran the final ten miles of the race with potassium cramps (from losing all the gus I took, the powerade I drank, and the breakfast I ate) and stomach cramps. My lower back hurt from my bowels screaming at me to stop.

Dad and I finished the marathon pretty strong, even thought I seriously considered quitting at the Marriott...on mile 19, mile 21, mile 22, mile 23, mile 24 and even up to the finish. Dad and I crossed the finish line 20 minutes short of qualifying...which was extremely heart breaking and disappointing...but I was ecstatic that the battle was over. I actually think I was more excited for a heated...indoor restroom and new clothes than anything else. In retrospect, I wish I would have felt good enough to really enjoy the presence of my family at the finish line. I could hear little Layla's voice yelling, "go go go"...it was so sweet. I honestly don't remember much of the finish line or the first 10 minutes after I finished..its all a blur.

The biggest disappointment was that my post marathon meal/treat was a jug of Pedilyte....which didn't entirely stay on my stomach. I was really looking forward to some pizza, Mrs. Fields cookies and butter pecan ice cream...BOO! My body ached this morning in a way its never hurt before. The Charlotte course was difficult...but I think it was the energy depletion that left its mark on me when I rolled out of bed.

SO...now for Boston...

Dad and I are running the United Healthcare Marathon in May, which is a Boston Qualifier, and the Marine Corps in October. We are hitting the road tomorrow to pick up our training again :-). I'm kind of excited to be really working toward something still....I'm going to be a stinkin machine by May...haha!

One of the best things about Saturday was my sweet little Layla An...she didn't care

that I was pukey, sweaty or stinky...she loved on me anyway. And even though I was exhausted...I wanted nothing more than to hold her and squeeze on her. In fact, she and I both insisted that I carry her back to the car after the race :-) I can say this though...one day when she meets a challenge and wants to give up...I can speak to her from experience. I have never been so physically and emotionally challenged in all my life.

BUT...that's over...and I'm on to the next one. But first...I'm going to attempt to eat a peanut butter sandwich. Wish me luck...I probably need to eat a whole loaf's worth of sandwiches...

Last post...

2008-12-11T12:01:00.000-08:00

I wasn't going to post any more until after the marathon on Saturday...but I really felt like I needed and wanted to say thanks to my support system...

I have really been blessed with some amazing friends....some of whom I also call my family. I've had moments during these past few months where I've thought this marathon thing is a ridiculous endeavor. It has required a lot of time and a lot of discipline for just a couple of minutes of glory. I am stubborn...I am driven. Sometimes during this process, I've worried that those qualities may have ticked off all of those who love me and have witnessed my moodiness (my husband has called me "The Mood" for three days now) and seemingly selfish behavior. My dad did warn me when I mentioned to him that I'd like to run a marathon that it would require me to be a little selfish with my time...something that I RARELY do.

BUT...I was reminded this week that I haven't managed to isolate everyone :-)

**The GRAND thank you goes to my dad...but I'll post about that on Sunday...

**My sweet mom continues to love on my little Layla while I'm out running. She has done this for months without the first complaint and without making me feel guilty. She puts out drinks for dad and I on some of our long runs and she always has me a goody bag of snacks on Saturday mornings. But more importantly, she has lent me her husband for 7 months. Thanks mom...at least you'll get your trip to Boston now :-)

**I opened my mailbox the other day and saw an envelope with some very familiar handwriting on it...handwriting that made me smile so big that my cheeks hurt. One of my best friends in the world took time out of her CRAZY schedule to write me one of the most thoughtful letters I've gotten in a long time. I feel so blessed to call this girl my friend...and I definitely don't deserve all of her kind words. That little letter provided more encouragement than I've experienced in a while. Thanks Toddy....

**Several times over the past few weeks, I've gotten the sweetest emails from my second mom (some call these women "mother-in-laws" but that just sounds so distant). She's asked me more than once what I needed...she's expressed interest in my runs...she's unknowingly given me HUGE ego boosts by complimenting my discipline...and she's let me know often that she is proud of me ..she also bought me some super comfy lucky running socks. I think she's just as anxious as I am for Saturday...which is really sweet.

**My sister (or sister-in-law...whatever) sent me the most amazing email yesterday with a very well thought out YouTube list of video encouragement that included a nice little Rocky clip. My personal favorite is attached below. She has recently started running and I HOPE HOPE HOPE that I can gradually ease her into running a half marathon with me sometime. She's actually doing really well already...so you never know. I may be dragging her up the mountain in the near future :-)

**One of my most favorite people in the whole world...my auntie...my mother's twin...was excited beyond belief to keep Layla on Saturday during the marathon. You can't even begin to understand how great that makes me feel to see her so visibly excited to spend time with my Layla--and Layla just adores her. She sent me a little email today which included one of the best compliments I've been given. She told me how she admired me for all my hard work and accomplishments (which believe me--they're mostly very small)...but the biggest one was how I mother Layla...HOW SWEET.

Okay...so back to sitting around some more and letting all this nervous energy build. Oh how I'd like to go out and run tonight...then again...my perfectly wonderful husband has told me that the one thing that would make HIM so happy tonight was if he could run me a bath and take care of the dishes...He definitely swept me off my feet with that one :-) I picked a good one, huh? Thanks...again, love.

OH PS--

Look forward to a new blog coming in January or February. I've got new venture of sorts cooking in the oven but I don't want to show it off until its all done. YIKES...no...I'm not pregnant...HA...whew...scared some people, huh?

7 days 2 hours 3 minutes

2008-12-06T02:31:00.000-08:00

One week until the big day...okay..just saying that makes my stomach churn. Fortunately I was blessed with this thought as I was going to bed last night with my mind racing about marathon day....

I've worked hard...and I've had the best coach around...my body is capable running the race and qualifying for Boston...and I've got 3:35 minutes to prove it....so I can't really mess up...I've got my dad leading the way...I just have to make sure my mind is in order.

SO...I spent the better part of the early morning hours visualizing myself running the course. Dad and I went up to Charlotte on Thursday to drive our 26.2 miles. We were told it was hilly...but we were pleasantly surprised to see that it was quite similar to our training runs. AND I've gotten to a point with my running where hills don't really scare me like they used to (take that you silly hills). Last night I was able to picture myself running through each point in the course...which was really nice.

I also tried to think of why it was so important to me to qualify for Boston and not just finish the race. I know at some point during the marathon, I'm going to have to dig deep and qualifying is going to have to be REALLY important to me. All that said...this is what I'm going to run so crazy fast for...

I want to see the look on dad's face when I actually exceed his expectations and we do something so accomplished TOGETHER...I want to capture that instant that we realize we're going to make it and hold it in my head forever...and I want to go back to the shoe store where I bought my shoes and tell the lady who looked at me with complete shock when I told her I have been running for 8 months and am doing a marathon AND trying to qualify for Boston that I DID IT. I want the feeling of doing something incredible.

So when I start to do a slow fade next Saturday...I'm just going to visualize this sort of reception at the finish line (except replacing the o-so-wonderful Red Sox with my family). I don't think I'm asking TOO much--a nice little pile of excited family members and oh yeah...some tissue :-)

Garmin 305

2008-12-01T10:01:00.001-08:00

taaaaaaaaaa daaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

Thanks to my precious mom and dad...Christmas came a little early for me this year. Look at the new addition to my running garb...yep that's right guys...I am officially hooked..I got a Garmin 305 for Christmas!

Mom gave it to me yesterday and I couldn't get over myself. Although Sunday was my day off from running..I couldn't help but bust out my shoes and new Garmin once Layla went down for bed. Its incredible! I got up to the second pace, distance, heart rate, time....WOW...can you all tell I'm just a tad bit excited--and I haven't even tapped into all its capabilities yet? I actually wore it while I walked around the house last night and watched my pace change. I know its GPS system will help me track my runs...and get me back home if I were to ever get lost? Its strange for me...I am a self proclaimed gadget hater---well, up until last night :-) I guess the 21st century isn't all that bad...ha ha!

Soooo....dad and I will run with it this afternoon and see how well it works for us. Dad so graciously agreed to wear it for me during our marathon...I have NO business keeping an eye on that thing during the race...I don't quite trust my slightly "type A" self with it on race day just yet. On a side note...last Saturday, dad and I ran 12 miles at an average pace of 7:50 a mile...WOW...30 seconds per mile faster than marathon pace...and it really felt great. I think it gave us the confidence boost we (okay...I) needed. Now we are OFFICIALLY in taper mode. We have 7 miles tonight....3 tomorrow, 7 on Wednesday, 4 Thursday, 3 Friday and 10 on Saturday....easy week, huh? I'm going to be climbing the walls OR enjoying some time with the hubby now that I'll have the energy to carry on a decent conversation...

Oh yeah...back to my Garmin..YAY! So I'll make sure to give a full report of our runs this week and how the Garmin fared. I'm taking votes on what I should name her...so any ideas are welcome...

Gettin skirted...

2008-11-28T12:22:00.000-08:00

So I completed my first ever race...strange that I decided to shoot for a marathon before even running a single race. HA! Although my dad opted out...he had too much work to do (whatever), my mom, my sis-in-law and myself ran the Turkey Strut 5K on Thanksgiving morning....and boy was it cold!

I was so excited that I could barely sleep...I woke up a 5am...made some coffee...read the news and started pacing. Why in the world was I so nervous. I was definitely not running in order to win. I guess maybe anxious? Who knows. Mom and I left my house at around 7:30 and parked in Winston. We thought (okay...I thought) we parked much closer to the start line than we really did. We ended up about a mile away from the start and had to run to get there in time. Mom was not too happy...I saw it as a nice little warm up ;-).

After about 20 minutes of sizing everyone up, I decided to call my dad to find out what in the world to do with my pace. Dad pulled some Mr. Miyagi stuff on me and advised me to run the first 100 yards slow and the first mile in 8 minutes. After that, I was to pick up the pace just a little and the sprint the last 200 yards. WHAT...I knew I was capable of going much faster than 8 minutes, but dad said it was an exercise in holding back a little. HA. He never ceases to surprise me. SO the gun went off...and about 2 minutes later (we literally had to walk to the start line because the pack of people was so huge)...off I went. I made my first mile in 8:15--despite the 100 billion strollers and walkers that started out IN FRONT of me??? Start in the back next time people. SO, I was a bit slower than dad told me. It felt WAY slow to me...which is a good thing. I guess that means all the marathon pace running is paying off.

The course was WAY hilly...like the first mile was a hill...up hill...the whole way. I began picking people out of the crowd in front of me and made it my goal to pass them...one by one. It was a great feeling to be able to blow by people on the hills. I could really tell all our hill work and speed work was paying off BIG TIME. By the last mile, I had a nice little clearing....and noticed (1) a group of men...about 40...with all the best gear on and (2) one single man...about 35ish...with nice form and a runner's body. My final goal was to "skirt" those men. So me and my running skirt picked up the pace to a near sprint. I passed the first group of fellas and felt myself grinning from ear to ear. I neared my final "target" with about 200 yards to go. I quietly fell in behind him until just the right moment...I turned it up to full sprint mode and passed him just as we were nearing the finish. I was more excited about that than I was about my 7 minute mile...HA! Poor guy...I probably ruined his Thanksgiving. I'm sure it doesn't feel great to get passed at the finish line...especially by a skirt.

ANYWAY...so my splits were..(notice I ran a negative split...YAY)

1 mile: 8:15

2mile: 7:30

3 mile: 6:55

After I finished, I turned around...ran back and caught up with my mom...it was so cute to see her little pink hat coming around the corner (she was dressed like a stinkin Eskimo...I think she had 3 layers of clothes on..HA)....so I got to cross the finish again with mom. I was--am--so proud of her. She ran the entire 5K without stopping once to walk--which was big for her. She hasn't really run in YEARS. As we got closer to the finish line, I felt my nose start to burn and I knew I was seconds away from bawling my eyes out...HA. I guess I was just overcome with emotion. You know, it was just a really nice moment to share with mom. So for those of you who have asked me what you could have at the finish line in Charlotte for me...bring some tissue. I'm going to be a hot mess.

FINALLY...the one thing I learned on Thursday morning....make sure you step on the pads when you are being chip timed! I neglected to step on BOTH of the first pads because I was trying to get around a stroller....needless to say, my time was based off of the gun time--not my start time. I made lots of notes to self NOT NOT NOT to do this in Charlotte. My time was an entire 2 minutes off! Fortunately, this race didn't count for much in my book....just some experience.

Shins...who needs em?

2008-11-25T17:40:00.000-08:00

May as well come right out with it...I've been benched for THREE DAYS and I'm going crazy. During my last speed workout last Wednesday [8x1200s (2x400 @ 2:05 and 1x400@1:35)] my shins started really hurting. I had known for weeks that my shoes needed to be replaced, but I thought I could squeeze a couple more runs out of them. I was wrong. I was greeted with some pretty yucky shin splints....In fact, my shins actually became quite swollen which was REALLY strange to see. I continued to run on Thursday and to do our final marathon pace workout...but we stopped after 7 miles because of my stinkin shins.

SO...my dad recommended that I rest for at least three days. He said there was no sense running my marathon in the weeks leading up to the real thing. He also said that I'd never finish if I couldn't make it past the start line. He was right...unfortunately. Today is my third day...and I am climbing the walls. Elliptical machines set at the hardest level interval program are not cutting it. I miss the cold air in my lungs...I miss the dull pain in my legs after a long or hard run...I did not realize that running had become such a positive outlet for me. I told Neil today that I think I've become depressed. Its strange. I need a run. NEED it. My shins feel great thanks to ice and motrin...AND I have NEW SHOES....I am counting down the hours until tomorrow's run. I don't normally talk about aches and pains....I absolutely LOATHE pity...I probably would have made a pretty good marine. I prefer someone yelling at me to toughen up and run anyway than to rest..HA! Am I weird?

Finally...stay posted...I'm running the Turkey Strut in Winston on Thursday morning...good times! Its only a 5K but I'm interested to see how I'll do!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all...too bad carb loading pre marathon has been proven pretty ineffective. I was really hoping to eat my weight in my aunt's cranberry apple casserole.

26.2 baby

2008-11-17T03:06:00.000-08:00

Done...DONE DONE DONE.

Dad and I completed one of our (okay MY) hardest training weeks yet. As of yesterday at 2pm, I had logged 62 miles IN ONE WEEK! I remember only months ago when I just started running thinking that 30+ was a big deal. WOW. On Wednesday, we ran about 12 miles. The first one was a warm up...the second one was an all out fast mile and the rest was a tempo run. Dad told me, just before we started, that the top speed mile would be one of my biggest challenges thus far...YIKES--I thought the big old mountain run was my hardest challenge.

We were at the track and the goal was for me to run one mile as fast as I could. After two laps...I noticed that my legs felt a very warm sensation....Um yeah...I peed ALL OVER myself. It was almost as if I was so focused on the muscles that needed attention that I forgot about my tiny pea sized bladder (and how is it that such a small bladder holds so much liquid?). Oops. We finished the mile in 6:35! MAN I was so proud. My legs were drenched and we still had 10 miles of speed work to go. Needless to say, by about the 7th mile, my pants had dried and I was fine....and able to laugh about it. Thank goodness I had on black spandex pants...so hopefully no one in the Thomasville area noticed some chick running in 50 degree weather with wet pants on :-) If you did..yes that was me and YES it was urine.

THEN on Saturday we set out at 7am to run just over 26.2 miles. During the first few miles, I knew this run was going to be difficult. It was humid and muggy and the wind was CRAZY. Despite the very warm weather, I opted for a long sleeved Under Armor shirt...silly me...should have really checked the weather! By around the 16th mile my inner thighs were burning like crazy...I guess from the sweat and my shorts were not long enough to keep my upper thighs from touching (by the last mile...they were bleeding). Nice! BUT we completed almost 27 miles on Saturday and our last mile was at an 8:30 pace. WOW...it felt like the slowest, longest mile I have ever run. I would love for you guys to experience the feeling of running THAT far and that long and then stop at then end to walk...my entire body instantly warned me that if I tried to jump or squat, it would seriously rebel on me. Funny that nothing hurt while running, but once we stopped we both started limping.

Soooo....

we have one more sort of difficult Saturday run (16 miles at race pace) and then we are off to taper...and stock up on Vitamin C

Most importantly before I go...

I have to give 20 miles worth of credit to my husband...I don't think I could have run a single mile over the 6 mile mark without his support and excitement. He actually looks forward to his Saturday mornings with Layla...taking her out for breakfast and on trips to Lowes. He scoops my ice cream for me on Wednesday nights after doing first, hills and then speed work. And more than anything, he lets me know how proud he is of me...rather than letting on for a minute that he thinks I'm a nut job for doing all of this stuff. Thanks, love ;-)

Where is it?

2008-11-11T11:54:00.000-08:00

LAYLA AN

WELL three weeks now and EVERYTHING has been "blue". I'm starting to think that's Layla's favorite color. She wants blue eggs...she wants blue milk...she wants blue bananas...she wants only blue gum (YES...I've let her chew gum...if you know me well, you understand that would be difficult to keep away from her..HA)...she wants blue candy. BLUE BLUE BLUE. I've never been more happy to look for blue things in my life. She's so much fun to humor.

She also said her first real sentence two nights ago. Most of her attempts at sentences have been lost on me. I can't understand a word of them. This one, though, I understood perfectly well. She said it exactly as I do. Some background on the little video...she likes to hide all of her bath toys under her little legs and make me look for them. I act surprised each time one pops out. Notice the little smile when she realizes that I may be taking a picture :-)

Where Is It? from dillon james on Vimeo.

RUNNING:

On Saturday, dad and I will run our last long run until marathon day. We'll run 26-27 miles on Saturday. Somehow...its not that daunting. BUT...we'll see. I'm starting to get really really really anxious and nervous. I'm afraid of working so hard and then not qualifying for Boston. While I should be proud to just finish my first marathon...I have to go and get my heart set on qualifying for Boston. I have very few doubts that I'll fail...my hope is that I cross the finish line with enough juice left to do a cartwheel or continue to run a couple of laps as did Constantina Dita Tomescu in the 2008 Women's Olympic Marathon. The more likely scenario is that I cross the finish and need a gurney. HA!

So yes...26-27 miles on Saturday and then we'll do 16 miles at marathon pace on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It'll be so nice over the craziness of the holidays to get out and run...think...enjoy some quiet time.

We call it the "Dirty Bird"

2008-11-07T17:35:00.001-08:00

I had to share this little video..Layla does this dance-she has for several months now--that Neil and I call the Dirty Bird. I don't know how it actually started...but it is so stinking funny--especially in her little Halloween costume.

Enjoy

Dirty Bird from dillon james on Vimeo.

And me?

2008-11-04T11:17:00.000-08:00

Alright...I'm throwing in my "nerd" card. I know...its completely shocking that I have any bit of nerd in me. I mean, I am normally so cool.

I tossed and turned all night last night...I was so filled with excitement for today that I could barely sleep. TODAY I am fortunate enough to enjoy the privilege of voting. YES...I even get this excited about voting during mid-term elections AND primaries. Voting is something that is so dear to my heart...I treasure this privilege...I hold it in very high regard...I walk around all day humming the Battle Hymn of the Republic in my head. YEP...pretty stinking nerdy. I'm even looking forward to watching all the commentary this evening...probably popping corn too.

Layla woke up at 5:30am this morning...she was probably excited too. I ran up to her room, told her good morning...gave her hugs and then asked her if she knew what today was (stupid question for a 20 month old..I KNOW). She responded with "Nana home". Um yeah, we weren't going to Nana's house...sorry. I told her that today we got to VOTE. She acted thrilled beyond belief. SO we ate breakfast....got dressed and went out to vote. The entire trip to our polling place she chanted, "vote maMA, vote and me? vote, Layla, vote vote vote". I let her push the buttons...she made some great choices :-) And when she pushed the last green button...she responded with very very LOUD...."YAY...vote". She also told her daddy that she voted for the "good guy". HA...so smart already.

Here's a picture of Layla outside of the polling place. She doesn't really look that excited...I think she was maybe still confused by all of my excitement over what she probably thought was a very silly machine.

Treats...

2008-11-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

Layla An...

What can I say...this Halloween was so much fun! Layla woke up on Friday morning and played in her crib for a while. When I walked in and said "Good morning, pumpkin. Happy Halloween!" She responded IMMEDIATELY with "Candy?". HA...so funny. I didn't know she actually got it...but apparently she did. In fact, she got out of her crib, ran to her closet and said "tume"--for costume and then danced around while I got everything out and ready.

Here are some pictures...notice Layla's favorite treat was the Krispy Kreme doughnuts...she had a death grip on those things...and I think I wiped at least two packages worth of powdered sugar from her face and hands :-)

Neil's sister, Lauren, works for Krispy Kreme so our house was the hit of the neighborhood thanks to her. Every year, Krispy Kreme sends home hundreds of packs of those tiny powdered doughnuts home with their employees to give out as candy. So this year, Lauren brought all her doughnuts over to our house. Layla had so much fun giving out candy and going to her friends houses for "treat". At one point, she took off running down the street hugging every small child she could find. She even attempted to hug a very scary adult monster. I would have loved to know exactly what was going through that little head of hers--it must have been some crazy things because she didn't settle down for bed until 9:45...YIKES...we are still suffering from that (and the time change). Poor little thing. But she woke up as happy as ever on Saturday morning....grabbed her pumpkin...ran to the door and yelled "treat maMA".

RUNNING:

Dad and I completed our 24 mile run on Saturday...we started at 5am and finished up at 8:30. It was surprisingly easy....the previous Saturday must have really done me a TON of good...I guess nothing can be quite as difficult as running up a mountain--not having a clue as to when you may be done with your punishment...um...I mean reward (sorry dad). Dad and I actually finished our run on Saturday...I came home and had my treasured post run shower with my Layla An...took her to the park and to the trampoline (PS-I don't recommend jumping of any kind shortly after running 24 miles)..and then after I put her down for her nap...got ready and ran out the door to shoot a wedding with dad. Dad and I had a blast shooting the wedding. For some reason I was so worried that dad or I one would either pass out from exhaustion or trip and fall in front of everyone because we were both kind of shuffling our feet. Fortunately, we made it through the day very gracefully...and I made it home in time for some much anticipated ice cream :-)